My friends...

By GottaLaff

John Sidney McCain says he is happy. And isn't that all that matters?

He's going to shake up Washington. First he has to get out of bed, doesn't he?

He's looking down at his notes... a lot.

Sarah fights corruption and stands up to special interests. Her husband works for BP.

Palin's husband, Todd, is a Yup'ik Alaskan native. Outside the fishing season, Todd works for BP energy corporation at an oil field on Alaska's North Slope and is a champion snowmobiler, winning the 2000-mile "Iron Dog" race four times.

Yep, no special interests there.

Being a mother of 5 is a prerequisite to be a heartbeat away from... well, you know.

She's "not from around these parts". "She stands up for what's right, and doesn't let anyone tell her to sit down." Thanks the lord... she'll never sit down. The first vice presidential candidate who... REQUIRES NO CHAIRS. She can now give hers to J Sid. I understand he sits a lot.

What is that music they're playing for her entrance? Anyone?

Oh dear, he looks like her great grandfather!

Like, Senator, I'm stoked to be your running mate. Text me, k?

Like, he chose me 'stead of Meg and junk. And Mitt is soooooo jealous.

Are those snowmobiles that he races good for the environment? No? 'K, just checking.

September 11th... her son enlisted on September 11th. DID EVERYONE HEAR THAT? September 11th. In case you missed it. September 11th. SEPTEMBER 11TH.

Joe in Comments just suggested she got knocked up and had to get married. Anyone doing any research on that?

"I'm a grown up. I swear. I did stuff in Alaska. Honest. I'm, like, sooooo tough and stuff. Oo! Call me that! Call me 'Tuff'n'Stuff!' Pleeeeeeeeze??"

Oil. Oil. Drill. Drill.

What was that about a ship at harbor? Was that some kind of metaphor? It made absolutely no sense.

Ahh, she said "integrity". That makes her honest. Moving right along.

John "S" McCain? It's "Sidney", Sarah. "Sidney". Sidney Eldon.

Here it comes: P.O.W. P.O.W. P.O.W.

IRAN!!!! BE AFRAID. J Sid will bomb them and everything will be fine.

RUSSIA!!! BE AFRAID. J Sid will bomb them and everything will be fine.

I'm a woman. No, seriously... I... AM.... WOMAN. Hillary, Hillary, Hillary... I am your new Hillary.

Dogs can hear her voice all the way in Finland.