Rejoice! There is no recession!

By GottaLaff

I cannot tell you how relieved I am. Why, all this time, I must have been imagining things! One might even call my state of mind a "mental recession"! I deeply regret all my previous whining.

And wowzers! Now I can raid that bank account for all that money I imagined I didn't have!

Oh, and the Republicans are unified... unless Hillary shows up and changes the equation. Just kidding:

A new New York Times/CBS poll finds that nearly nine in 10 Republican delegates support Sen. John McCain.

"The delegates' unanimity comes in spite of their description of themselves as more conservative than Mr. McCain, whose maverick image has long made him controversial in his party. The delegates' confidence -- fewer than 2 in 10 fear Mr. McCain may lose -- belies the election-year climate for the party and its other candidates."

Another example of them viewing the world differently: While 90% of the Democratic delegates at their convention said the American economy was in a recession, a whopping 72% of the Republican delegates say it is not.

Optimists.