Hey Dude

By GottaLaff

To the tune of "Hey Jude":

Hey Dude,
You made it worse.
Shared your wife's job
So you both blew it.

The Quitter who took you into her heart
Had a brain fart
And you both knew it, knew it, knew it, knew it!

Nearly 3,000 pages of e-mails "draw a picture of a Palin administration where the governor's husband got involved in a judicial appointment, monitored contract negotiations with public employee unions, received background checks on a corporate CEO, added his approval or disapproval to state board appointments and passed financial information marked 'confidential' from his oil company employer to a state attorney."

First Dude, you and the wife be in a heap o' trouble.

Other revelations from the emails:

• Palin "coached her staff on how to disguise the amount of electrical work needed at the mansion to hook up her new tanning bed."
• Palin and her staff "stewed over the refusal of the state Public Safety Department to provide a plane so the children could fly to Todd's family's home in Dillingham."
• A Palin aide searched for a public event to use as justification -- "I just need one" -- to charge the state for an airplane flight for Palin's daughter.

Ethics McWhoMe? was the very same person who vehemently denied ethics abuse/abuse of power charges, remember?

Dudes! WTF?

Sarah Palin's property tax problem; ‘I am so sorry I’m such a weasel’

By GottaLaff

The Mudflats does it again:

When the Democrats were finished with her, they had a 63-page document. There were lots of interesting things in the document, including this.

Pg. 48/63 Palin Declined to Appear in Ads for A Candidate Because He Had Not Paid His Property Taxes.

In 2004, it came to light that Republican Rep. Vic Kohring owed the borough $2,277 in unpaid property taxes on property he owns off Knik-Goose Bay Road, according to borough records. “That bothered former Wasilla Mayor Sarah Palin enough that she declined a campaign request to do a pro-Kohring TV commercial. As a former mayor, Palin said, it made her uncomfortable to back someone with unpaid taxes when the city relies on property taxes.” [Anchorage Daily News (Alaska), 10/28/04]

Admirable, huh?

Not so fast:

Recently, Sarah Palin gave an interview to Bill O’Reilly and said her favorite vacation spot was “The middle of nowhere at our cabin in Petersville,” Alaska.

And now we get to the envelope. Inside the envelope was an unsigned letter which read:

Todd and Sarah are now millionaires, but they shirk their responsibility to pay local property taxes.

One more nugget:

She talked to the Anchorage Daily News.

Pg. 15/63 Palin Called Herself “Such a Weasel” For Not Having a Firm Stand on the Property Tax Cap.

Palin said she has declined requests by Tax Cap Yes to speak in favor of the initiative. Yet, she said, she doesn’t object to her name’s continuing to be listed on the group’s Web site among 10 current or former government officials — half from Mat-Su — in support of the initiative. Palin acknowledged that she was sounding quite the politician. ‘I am so sorry I’m such a weasel,’ she said.”
[Anchorage Daily News, 10/8/00]

That was the tease. Now go read the post.

Shirky McLieLips: Our never ending source of point-and-laugh news.

ACORN Pimp aka PhoneGater accuses others of " journalistic malpractice"

By GottaLaff

Here's everything you need to know about James O'Keefe and his journalistic standards.

Here's what Pimpy McBreakIn is saying now:

On reflection, I could have used a different approach to this investigation, particularly given the sensitivities that people understandably have about security in a federal building. [...]

It has been amazing to witness the journalistic malpractice committed by many of the organizations covering this story.

He says a whole lot more, too. Please follow the link to read all of it.

Tommy Christopher says:

When O’Keefe says “The government has now confirmed what has always been clear: No one tried to wiretap or bug Senator Landrieu’s office. Nor did we try to cut or shut down her phone lines,” he doesn’t provide any evidence of this confirmation. The original affidavit states that they tried to gain access to the telephone closet, and that it was probable that their intention was to maliciously interfere with the telephone system.

O’Keefe’s revision notwithstanding, reporting the contents of an FBI document can hardly be considered “journalistic malpractice.” Journalists have a duty to report facts from credible sources, not to tailor them to James O’Keefe’s legal defense.

This is the same Tommy Christopher who appeared in my pilot webisode of Blunt.

Any way you look at it, PhoneGate McHatCam is in hot water. And he's no "kid" as he is referred to in so many reports. He's 25, and his father is a federal attorney.

He knew better. He broke the law. He did this under the guise of being a journalist. I'd call that "journalistic malpractice".

First Bush, Now Palin Get(s) Motivated!

By GottaLaff

Barbie McLip$chmutz i$ jumping right into the How to Alienate Friend$ and Influence Moron$ pool:

Sarah Palin has joined the Get Motivated! speaking series, joining former President Bush as a previous speaker for the organization. Her topics:

• How to Successfully Manage and Balance Your Personal and Professional Priorities
• How to Overcome Obstacles with Creative Solutions
• The Secrets to Effective Decision-Making
• How to Have Grace Under Fire
• How to Become a Person of Influence

Let's take these one by one:

--Balancing personal and professional priorities is a snap for Barbie. She gave up reading, motherhood, and governing her own state to become a vice presidential candidate. Next.

--To get around legal findings, Barbie relied on Republican appointees and her usual doubletalk, as well as a spokesperson... and 3 words: Deny, deny, deny.

I have two words of my own: Section IV. From the TrooperGate report:

For the reasons explained in section IV of this report, I find that Governor Sarah Palin abused her power by violating Alaska Statute 2952.110(a) of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act.

--Barbie is good at one thing: Deciding to quit. And that's exactly what she did when she failed to show up for numerous engagements, quit her own vacation, and of course, when she abandoned her own state by blowing off her governorship.

--As for "grace" under fire, the time she got punk'd is the only time I remember Barbs showing a modicum of presence of what passes for a mind. Most of the time, she's been too busy accusing others of pallin' around with terrorists and arranging death panels, among many other things. That's anything but gracious.

--I'll give her this: She does have influence... on horny punditiots and weak-minded wannabes. The rest of us have somehow managed to avoid her lure. Or lore. Or lair. Or liar.

If anything, we're motivated to run in the opposite direction.

Pastor Rick Warren's church reports shortfall

By GottaLaff

Aww, $784892379237 isn't enough to keep the big guy afloat?

Evangelical pastor Rick Warren appealed to parishioners at his Orange County megachurch Wednesday to help fill a $900,000 deficit by the first of the year.

[...] "Dear Saddleback Family, THIS IS AN URGENT LETTER."

"With 10 percent of our church family out of work due to the recession, our expenses in caring for our community in 2009 rose dramatically while our income stagnated," the letter reads.

"Stagnation". What a perfect word to associate with Rev Ricky.

"On the last weekend of 2009, our total offerings were less than half of what we normally receive - leaving us $900,000 in the red for the year," the letter reads.

I guess the invisible man upstairs didn't feel someone who doesn't love some of his fellow men as much as others was worth it.

Sarah Palin is booted from speech at a Canadian hospital

By GottaLaff



We knew this was coming, did we not? Barbie McLipSchmutz was scheduled to speak at a socialist-- er, public-- abortion-providing, advanced directive-servicing (gasp! death panels!) hospital. But that wasn't going to stop her, nosirreebob! Not when there was $200K at stake!

Let's get real. There was no way one of the two wouldn't eventually quit the other:

Now, the Toronto Sun reports that Palin has “been given the boot” and will no longer appear at the fundraiser for St. Peter’s hospital. Jeff Valletine, the vice president of communications for Hamilton Health Sciences, said that he had received a backlash for inviting Palin.

No more $200 grand? That explains her recycled Hawaiian resort wardrobe. No wonder she quit that trip, too. Also.

VIDEO- Colbert: Lieberman's got "Joe-Mentia"

By GottaLaff

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
For He's a Jowly Good Fellow
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor U.S. Speedskating

Colbert reminds us that Traitor Joe is over 65, so his "Joe-mentia" will be covered by Medicare.


(click on red button)

Sarah Palin to Speak at a Socialist Canadian Hospital

By GottaLaff



This is quite the big deal for someone who said that Canada should really think about reforming its health care system (video from post above), and who's not the biggest fan of abortion rights, and who thinks "death panels" will kill your Grandma. Me oh my.

Hyp. O. Crite:

According to the Hamilton Spectator, Sarah Palin has been contracted to speak at a fundraiser for the Juravinski Cancer Centre and St. Peter’s Hospital in Canada.

Oopsie daisy there, Barbie McLipSchmutz, I do believe you're exposing yourself to the dreaded H1Socialism1:

– St. Peter’s Hospital is a public hospital within the national Canadian healthcare system. In Palin’s worldview, universal, government-insured health care is “socialism.”

– St. Peter’s Hospital performs abortions. Palin, a staunch anti-choice zealot, has protested outside of abortion clinics and has refused to denounce abortion clinic bombers as terrorists.

– St. Peter’s Hospital, through its Centre for Studies in Aging, offers “advanced directives.” Palin tried to derail health reform earlier this year by falsely labeling advanced directive reimbursements as “death panels.”

Oh dear. This will never do.

I feel a "quit" coming on....

As Barbie said, "Keep the faith".

Ex-Bush ‘domestic policy czar’ Rove rips czars as ‘giant expansion of presidential power’

By GottaLaff

KKKarl Rove Tweets:

To which Think Progress responds:

It is surprising that Rove finds the appointment of czars to be “a giant expansion of presidential power” because he actually served as the “domestic policy czar” in the Bush White House. In fact, President Bush himself appointed numerous czars in order to deal with various public crises and controversies, including a “cybersecurity czar,” “regulatory czar,” “AIDS czar,” “bird-flu czar” and “Katrina czar.” Moreover, Rove’s criticism of Obama is ironic, given his role in an administration that was marked by the expansion of executive power.

Rove's not even remotely close to being the "genius" the corporate media made him out to be, now is he?

Ensign Quits Leadership Post

By GottaLaff

So what about the other Rushpublics who don't live up to their own Family Values hype?

Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) resigned his Senate Republican leadership post after admitting having an affair with a staffer, the AP reports.

Lindsey Graham Jeered at S.C. GOP Convention

By GottaLaff

President Obama got Blackberried. Little Lindsey got raspberried:

But during speeches by state officials, party divisions were clear about what it means to be a Republican after several losing national cycles. [...]

But U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham followed with a fiery speech that drew jeers from the crowd.

Graham told the crowd there was nothing wrong with any conservative, and he wanted to build an open party that could win in Pennsylvania and Connecticut, as well as South Carolina.

“You’re a hypocrite!” one man yelled.

“I’m a winner, pal,” Graham shot back. “Winning matters to me. If it doesn’t matter to you, there’s the exit sign.”

Ooo, way to win over voters, "pal".

“Ron Paul is not the leader of this party,” Graham said, prompting a few jeers. Some people yelled, “Yes, he is!”

Nuh-UH! Yuh-HUH! Nuh-UH! Yuh-HUH!

And then he stuck his thumb back in his mouth, grabbed his blankie, was promptly returned to his limo car seat, buckled in, and was whisked swiftly away.

H/t: BuzzFlash

Steele: We Need Guns To Defend Ourselves Against ‘Terrorists’ Coming To ‘Our Communities’

By GottaLaff

I am an anti-American Marxist, Commie, Socialist, gay abortionist who wants your guns, your religion, your government, your money, your unborn baby, your guns... hell, I want it all:

Today, RNC Chairman Michael Steele spoke at the National Rifle Association’s (NRA) “Celebration of American Values” Leadership Forum. During his speech today, Steele criticized Barack Obama’s potential Supreme Court nominee, saying the President is “looking to put Doctor Phil on the Court.”

Steele also played to his NRA audience by fear-mongering that Democrats may take away Americans’ guns. He claimed that those guns are more necessary than ever since Guantanamo detainees may soon be in the United States and the public will have to defend itself:

It is ironic, to say the least, that at the same time Democrats in Congress are threatening to deny Americans their second amendment right to own a firearm and defend their families and homes, they are considering bringing terrorists like 9-11 mastermind Khalid Sheik Mohammed and other Al Qaeda detainees to our communities once the President follows through on his campaign promise to close Guantanamo Bay.

[...] Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) said yesterday on Fox News. “We don’t want them in our jails.” (Of couse, Guantanamo detainees transferred to the U.S. for trials would actually be housed in federal prisons, where dozens of dangerous terrorists are already held. In fact, the U.S. has already successfully prosecuted 145 terrorism cases in federal court, a sharp contrast to the series of debacles in Guantanamo prosecutions.) [...]

Just two years ago, Steele came out forcefully against assault weapons, saying that they were “overkill.” “If you want to talk about gun control, that’s where you need to start,” said Steele. “We’ve got 300 gun laws on the books right now. At the end of the day, it’s about how we enforce the law.” However, a few months ago he changed his mind and said that a ban on assault weapons was just the first step in the Obama administration’s plan “repeal the 2nd Amendment.”

Let's put it this way: I want the guns of anyone who sounds as crazy as these wackos do.

Joe the Plumber leaving the GOP; he's "outraged"

By GottaLaff

Just now on the Thom Hartmann Show, Christy Harvey announced that Not Joe the Not Plumber is leaving the Rushpublic party. Here we go, I found the source of her remarks:

Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, tells TIME he's so outraged by GOP overspending, he's quitting the party — and he's the bull's-eye of its target audience.

My stars, who next? Arlen Spec-- oh. Um. Anyway, that's some proclamation by Monsieur le Not Joe.

Current membership of the Rushpublic party: 12 11.

Hang on, wait a sec. What's that I'm hearing through my non-existent earpiece? There's a "but"?

But he also said he wouldn't support any cuts in defense, Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid — which, along with debt payments, would put more than two-thirds of the budget off limits.

Psyche! Not Joe made a Not Proclamation! What a Not Surprise.

Sarah Palin trying to backtrack from her call for Begich to step down

By GottaLaff

A few days ago, I posted about Sarah Palin's efforts to get Mark Begich to resign after the charges against Ted Stevens were dropped. In her hamster-on-a-wheel mind, she equated Ted Stevens' legal technicality-based freedom with an invalid election, calling loudly and clearly for a super duper ultra cool special election. She did so unequivocally. Unambiguously. Unquestionably.

In an email to POLITICO, Palin spokeswoman Meg Stapleton confirmed the governor’s position. “She absolutely agrees that there should be a special election,” Stapleton wrote. “Stepping down to hold the special election would be the right thing to do.”

Well, today is a brand new day, and you know what that means: Another day, another Shooty McMouthOff pratfall:

However, yesterday in a press conference, Palin tried to backtrack:

“I didn’t call for Begich to step down, either,” Palin said. “I said I absolutely agree that Alaskans deserve a fair, untainted election for the United States senate seat. I’m not splitting hairs on how that happens. I’m saying wonderful, good. I want to see an election that is fair, that isn’t influenced unduly by some announcement that the sitting senator was facing a multi-felony count conviction. That’s what we were told. Now, come to find out, that wasn’t the case.”

However, if Palin supports a new special election, by state law, Begich “would have to step down.” That process would temporarily leave Alaska with just one active senator. Nevertheless, Palin yesterday insisted that she wasn’t “splitting hairs on how a new election should happen.”

Poor Shooty. She really should be accompanied by a stenographer who can read back her own words to her. Or maybe she could just flip on the Tee Vee Machine and watch herself. She probably just doesn't have the time, what with hiring tasteless, controversial, unqualified boors for Attorney General and all. Defending them/watching them defend themselves can be so gosh darned time-consuming. You betcha.

VIDEOS: Brokeword Mountain? Rick Warren backtracks on gay marriage

By GottaLaff

Via the Daily Beast:

When it came time to rally support for California’s Proposition 8, Pastor Rick Warren’s message was loud and clear: “Now let me say this really clearly: We support Proposition 8," the evangelical leader said via video message to his 22,000-member church the week before the anti-gay marriage measure went into effect in November. But now Warren may have changed his mind about gay marriage. In an interview with Larry King, Warren said he "never once even gave an endorsement” of the proposition, and that he was just “a pastor talking to his people” who, all of a sudden, was turned into the “poster boy for anti-gay marriage." “I wrote to all my gay friends—the leaders that I knew—and actually apologized to them,” Warren said. Leaders of the evangelical community and members of Warren’s church are bewildered at his turnaround on the issue. “He is being politically correct instead of biblically courageous,” one pastor said.

"I'm oblivious" to the Iowa same-sex marriage ruling? Oblivious? Really? He's completely unaware of a major, controversial media story about, of all things, Iowa's anti-Prop 8itude? One that goes right to the heart of his own public statements (see videos)? Wow, that takes some talent. I wonder if he sleeps through earthquakes.

Let's move right along to a glaring contradiction then. If Rev Rick never gave an endorsement to Prop 8, then what in the Sam Hill is this?

VIDEOS: Bill O’Reilly censors photo of American Idol's Adam kissing a guy

By GottaLaff

Bile O'Homophobe's despicable double standards are in stark contrast to today's wonderful good news items that celebrate the freedom to love whomever one chooses. Check out Bile's squirming and judging and sliming his way through these few seconds of video:



Here is the photo in question, via Gawker:

Gasp! Omg, gay tongues! Mutual attraction! Expressions of passion! Gaaaa!

Now take a look at Bile reveling in the opportunity to expose (no pun) us and himself to a giant, steamy-hot helping of writhing, gyrating bevy of barely-clad, pixelated teen girls gone wild:

That was from Spring Break 2007 in South Padre Island.

Think Progress:

[W]hile O’Reilly found the image of two men kissing “so revoltingly gross and icky and offensive” that he had to crop it, he has in the past had no qualms about airing video “that included gyrating, bikini-clad drunk girls humping people during Spring Break.”

Oh, that silly cad, he can't fool us. One can almost hear him warbling "Skip to My Loofah" as the video clips are played. Um, Bile? If anybody's revoltingly gross and icky and offensive, it's you.

UPDATE-- Some excellent instant analysis of my post by BuzzFlash's Mark Karlin via an email:

Bill's fascination with barely clothed women while condemning them is the wink-wink of the church going white male who patronizes the strip during lunch hour.

My theory is that the right wing whacko stuff is the last attempt of the white male to restore white patriarchal authority. This is consistent with the plantation structure.

Remember plantation owners were church going fundies while shtuping their slaves. O'Reilly and the Dittoheads are the heirs to that tradition.

VIDEO: Cramer responds to Stewart: ‘It was naive and misleading’ to attack me

By GottaLaff

Remember this? Of course you do. It's a thorough examination of Jim Cramer v. Jon Stewart v. Tucker Carlson. Well now, what have we here? Jimmy C seems to have rethought everything:

Today, Cramer dismissed Stewart’s attacks, calling them “naive” and saying that CNBC had been “out front” in identifying financial malfeasance:

This full-throated defense of the network may be coming in response to CNBC staffers who were reportedly “furious” with Cramer for not defending their reporting in his interview with Stewart.

He sure knows how to take a stand and stick to it, doesn't he? What a principled individual. Everyone who can't wait to watch The Daily Show tonight, raise your hands.

Fox's Greta Van Susteren's husband "guiding Palin's political image in Washington"

By GottaLaff

Fair and balanced, as always:

Yesterday, the Washington Post’s Chris Cillizza revealed one of the reasons that Van Susteren may have so much interest in and access to Palin. It turns out that her husband, John Coale, is one of “the figures charged with guiding Palin’s political image in Washington”:

Coale, a well-known Washington lawyer and the husband of Fox News Channel’s Greta Van Susteren, drew national media attention when he endorsed Sen. John McCain’s presidential bid in protest of the way in which Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, who he backed in the primary, was treated. Coale, in an interview with the Fix, described himself simply as a “friend” of the Alaska governor but acknowledged that he suggested she start a leadership PAC and helped her navigate through some of the questions surrounding her family that lingered after the campaign. Others familiar with Palin’s political team insist that Coale has far more power than he is letting on — essentially helping to run Sarah PAC. Coale demurred on that front, noting only that he talks to Palin regularly and that she is a “fascinating person” who is “definitely not what the right thinks or the left thinks.”

According to a Nexis search, starting on the day that Sarah Pac was announced, Van Susteren has never disclosed her husband’s behind-the-scenes role on air. Here is how she reported the announcement of Sarah Pac:

VAN SUSTEREN: Does Governor Sarah Palin have her eye on a presidential run in 2012? There’s one more clue tonight. The Alaskan governor has her own political action committee up and running–www.sarahpact.com went up on the web this morning. [...] [Fox News, 1/27/09]

Ironically, just last week, Van Susteren decried people thinking she’s “so close to the Palin family.” “The only way that I’ve met them is by interviewing them,” she said, never mentioning her husband’s relationship to Palin. [...]

On her show last night, Van Susteren dedicated an entire segment to criticizing David Letterman for making a joke about Palin and her family.

What more is there to say? We've all said it all a million times. Fixed Noise = Lying, misleading, secretive, hypocritical, excruciatingly loud propaganda machine.

Palin's Peeved at Political Punch

By GottaLaff

(via)

In the news again. Poor Limelight Palin! Or should I say, Grabby McEarmark? This news cycle, it's Jake Tapper who got her all upset. Not being one to take sass like his lying down [Laffy Note to self: Forgo mother-of-five "lying down" jokes here], she sic'd her flunky on him, that's how mad she was. The truth hurts, doesn't it, Grabby?

A very irate aide to Gov. Sarah Palin contacted ABC News today to explain why his boss's 31 requests for earmarks in the fiscal year 2009 budget, totaling $197 million, represent a victory for fiscally conservative values.

"I am disturbed by this item," wrote Bill McAllister, director of communications for Gov. Palin, referencing a blog entry from last night in which we referred to an article in the liberal magazine Mother Jones noting that Palin -- after what seemed like a campaign against earmark abuse -- was back at the proverbial trough.

"The headline [link] doesn't seem very dignified for a major news organization,"said the spokesman for the governor who repeatedly referred to then-Senator, now-President Obama as "palling around with terrorists." He also quibbled with our referencing Mother Jones. (We also reference conservative publications here. But anyway.)

"Let's start with the overwhelming mischaracterization of Gov. Palin's stance on earmarks that has been repeated and repeated since Aug. 29," McAllister wrote. "The governor never said that earmarks should be abolished or that the State of Alaska wouldn't seek or accept any. Didn't happen. What she said well before she was a national candidate (going back at least to October of 2007) was that earmark reform was necessary and the state would need to rely less on federal money than it had been."

McAllister then pointed out that Palin made 51 earmark requests for the FY 2008 budget, totaling $256 million; and 31 requests totaling $197 million, for the FY 2009 budget.

McAllister said that for next year's budget, Gov. Palin will only make eight requests, totaling $69 million, which will include "six ongoing federal appropriations and just two new projects: an upgrade at the Kodiak Missile Defense Facility, which is relevant to national security, and a bridge replacement critical to construction of the pending Alaska natural gas pipeline, also in the national interest." [...]

"She has spoken out on reform of the federal process, and it is a disservice to her that her position was so egregiously mis-reported last year and that those same false stories are now being used to make her look like a hypocrite -- adding insult to injury, quite literally."

Alarmed, I asked McAllister how Palin was "literally" injured. Was she okay? Was she infirm?

"I didn't say physically injured," he wrote back. "Certainly her reputation was injured by the erroneous reporting." [...]

In any case, the point is, Gov. Palin as a vice presidential candidate claimed that she "championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending of Congress."

And yet, she has asked for and is still asking for -- and receiving -- tens millions of dollars in earmarks [...]

Including [...] moneys for alcohol bootlegging interdiction and North Pacific fisheries programs.

Yes, all that erroneous reporting is what's injuring what's left of her stellar reputation. It was nothing she's done, said (er, tried to say), or insinuated. Glad we cleared that up. It would be a shame if she began her 2012 campaign with any misunderstandings.

Big H/t: Mark Karlin at Buzzflash for the Palin photo link

Newt Gingrich: `Not particularly' want to run in 2012

By GottaLaff

I'd posted previously that Newtie said he would run in 2012 if he and his family "think it's necessary". He's such a tease. No wonder he's so popular with the ladies! Now he's given us one more tantalizing little wink, but, in the opposite direction:

Gingrich was asked Sunday on NBC's "Meet the Press" whether he wanted to run for president in 2012. His two-word response: "Not particularly."

Gingrich must have anticipated that question because he said if he came up with any other answer on the show, then he would be making headline news. So in Gingrich's words, "not particularly is a good answer for this morning."

What a little minx.

Of course, making headline news is the last thing he'd ever want to do... which explains his appearance on the most popular Sunday news talk show in America, plus this, this, this, this, and this: