Not Joe the Not Plumber prefers Tea Bagger hypocrisy to John McCain

By GottaLaff

In a previous post, I had said that Sam the Fake Plumber was campaigning for J Sid McCain. That was wrong.

He likes anti-tax rallies, not McCain. Why, he won't tolerate so much as a penny going toward the evil taxes that pay for things Americans need and use:

PHOENIX - Joe the Plumber [...] led a rally against Proposition 100, the proposed 1-cent sales tax. [...]

"They like to blame somebody else for their shortcomings. They like to say well, we have to raise taxes because we misspent our money here... we can't do it anymore," says Joe the Plumber, whose real name is Samuel Wurzelbacher.

Here's the correction:

Joe the Plumber says he no longer endorses McCain.

What will J Sid ever do without the strong following Sam the Faker has? Oh that's right. He doesn't have one.

Samuel Joe Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber from the 2008 presidential campaign, used part of his speech to criticize the federal government and urge the estimated 150 attendees to get behind "good" candidates in the fall elections. Earlier, he told reporters that he was not being paid for his Arizona appearance and that he was attending the Ax the Tax rally to help educate people about issues.

"I'm here to try to generate excitement and get people involved," Wurzelbacher said.

Same the Faker is there to educate, generate, and involve. How exactly can someone with very little brain, following, or charisma do that again? Anyone?

There is one thing he can do, however... and that is, hop a bus:

He also is participating in the Tea Party Express, a bus tour that kicks off today in Searchlight, Nev., home of Senate Majority Leader , D-Nev. En route to its destination in Washington, D.C., the express will stop Sunday in Phoenix at the state Capitol.

Why, that's today! Why, that's the very event that MSNBC salivated over for hours this morning! Why, Sam the Faker has found a niche! Er, another niche. He's extremely niche-riche.

However there is one niche he's no fan of at all. Not Joe the Not Plumber back in February:

"I think his [Obama's] ideology is un-American, but he's one of the more honest politicians. At least he told us what he wanted to do." And Wurzelbacher also had common-sense views on the crazies who dispute Obama's nationality and compare him to Hitler. "The birthers, the truthers — if people are trying to bunch them [with tea partiers], that would kill us. That just pushes away Democrats and independents who might come out for our cause otherwise."

Nah, what's going to "kill" you are the extreme Tea Baggeritude, lack of focus on real issues, infighting, competition with the GOP, racism, irrationality, hostility, mob mentality, costumes, crazy hats, and the sheer group eccentricity.

Come to think of it, Orly Taitz and the birther gang pretty much fit right in.

H/t: VNDNBRG

Joe the "He really screwed my life up" now campaigning for John McCain

By GottaLaff

In February I posted this:

Not Joe the Not Plumber has turned on the very people who co-sponsored his 15 minutes of manufactured fame:

"McCain was trying to use me [...] I happened to be the face of middle Americans. It was a ploy.”

And yet, this is the very same Ploy Wonder who allowed himself to be used, and then some. Had he said-- What's that word? Oh yeah-- NO, then he wouldn't have been exPloy-ted.

By the way, how are those book sales coming along, Wurtzelewiywyzrtufshlocher?

"I don’t owe him s— [...] He really screwed my life up, is how I look at it.”

Via that same article:

He said he doesn’t support Sarah Palin anymore. Why? Because she’s backing John McCain’s re-election effort. “John McCain is no public servant,” he told the room, calling the 2008 Republican nominee a career politician.

Today Not Joe is campaigning for J Sid in Arizona.... with Palin.I guess his life isn't all that screwed up.

Or... it's so screwed up he had nowhere to go but up.

As for Fluffy McTwoFaced:

[I]n Going Rogue, Ms. Palin called the McCain campaign disorganized and slow to focus on the economy."

However, today on MSNBC, J.D. Hayworth, McCain's opponent, attributed Palin's support of J Sid to "gratitude". I guess she's thankful for his disorganization and lousy grasp of America's financial woes.

Why, I bet she was so grateful that she wrote him a thank you note and hand-delivered it.

Joe the Plumber tears into John McCain

By GottaLaff

Not Joe the Not Plumber has turned on the very people who co-sponsored his 15 minutes of manufactured fame:

"McCain was trying to use me [...] I happened to be the face of middle Americans. It was a ploy.”

And yet, this is the very same Ploy Wonder who allowed himself to be used, and then some. Had he said-- What's that word? Oh yeah-- NO, then he wouldn't have been exPloy-ted.

By the way, how are those book sales coming along, Wurtzelewiywyzrtufshlocher?

"I don’t owe him s— [...] He really screwed my life up, is how I look at it.”

I beg to differ. I believe you both owe each other plenty of s---. Fair is fair. Balanced is balanced.

Okay, so anyway, now Not Joe the Not Successful is so mad at McCain that he'll no longer have anything more to do with Dingy McCribNotes, because she supports McCain's re-election.

Typical conclusion to a typical GOP strategy. Use anyone to the nth degree who can help your cause, then discard them like The Boehner's empty faux tan potion bottles.

Apparently, in this case, it was a mutual rejection. Fair and balanced.

Not Joe the Not Plumber makes $10,000 for 8-minute speeches

By GottaLaff

Not Joe, the Rushpublics' idea of a man of the people (and by people, they mean hate-filled, fear mongering, tea tantruming, violent mobbers), is getting rich off of... the people:

Dave Weigel, reporting from the RightOnline conference in Pittsburgh, has a tidbit about just how lucrative it still is to be Joe the Plumber.

But the activists found some unity listening to Joe Wurzelbacher, still a sought-after conservative speaker who can charge as much as $10,000 for eight-minute speeches, 11 months after he argued about tax rates with then-Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) during a campaign stop in Ohio. He was welcomed, and mobbed for photos, as the first American to get the kind of full-bore smear campaign that was now directed at “Tea Party” activists and Flip camera-wielding conservatives going to town halls to tell congressmen that they were shredding the Constitution. “Let’s try to make this an American movement,” said Wurzelbacher, “not a Republican movement, not a Democrat movement. You guys are empowering Americans again. Don’t forget that.”

That's their guy! Be proud, Rushpublics.

AUDIO: Joe The Plumber Would "Beat The Livin' Tar" Out Of Pelosi et al.

By GottaLaff

Not Joe the Not Plumber is not in his right mind. But then, we already knew that. Of course, he's not the violent type and would never, ever do something like "beat the livin' tar" out of anyone:

Wurzelbacher said that in the good ol’ days, he would have been able to physically “beat” Pelosi...

WURZELBACHER: For Pelosi to write about us bein’ un-American and disprespectful — I’ll tell ya what: I respect nobody who lies to me and manipulates me and takes my money and puts my children in debt. They want me to be respectful toward them? Please!…You know, I’m not the most civilized person: Those kind of people, I usually took behind the woodshed and just beat the livin’ tar out of ‘em.

But she never said that. She said it was unAmerican to drown out those who disagree with you. He then reiterated his violent, vile little points:

For someone who doesn’t advocate violence, Joe sure spends a lot of time talking about it. A few months ago, he told Think Progress that anyone who criticized the military would’ve been shot “back in the day” and that he’d personally like to slap around anyone who “talked treasonous talk about America.”

But wait! There's more! Not Violent Not Joe the Not Plumber goes a steps in it again (no pun):

Joe also provided some parenting advice at the conference, telling right wingers that his "size twelves" do just as good a job as teachers when it comes to making sure his children are educated.

This is the guy who the Rushpubs parade around to represent their pathetic, shrinking party. This is who McCain/Palin '08 chose as their spokesdunce.

Joe the Plumber agrees with Meghan McCain: I’m just a ‘dumb plumber.’

By GottaLaff

Meghan McCain had called Not Joe the Not Plumber a "dumbass" awhile ago. Not Joe is so dumb that he publicly agreed with MegMac that he is, indeed, dumb... but he left out "ass":

[...] Wurzelbacher showed up at an “Average Joes, Powerful Voices” event in Greenville, WI yesterday to speak to those protesting “taxes and government spending.” But it appeared that he agreed, at least in part, with Meghan McCain’s criticism:

Wurzelbacher described himself as a “dumb plumber” who nevertheless could understand the Constitution. [...] He criticized wasteful government spending, lack of accountability, the disconnect between Christian values and politics, and political correctness.

“Washington has no idea what’s going on here or anywhere else,” Joe the Plumber said in an interview after the event. “So we need to govern ourselves more and go back to state rights.” Seeming to then take issue with McCain’s (and his own) characterization, he also criticized those who paint him as a “bad person” or “some ignorant red-neck who doesn’t have anything to say about anything.” “[It's] not true you know,” he said. “I’m very educated, I know what I’m talking about, I know the facts.”

If this is what "very educated" sounds like, our schools are in more trouble than I thought.

Joe the Plumber leaving the GOP; he's "outraged"

By GottaLaff

Just now on the Thom Hartmann Show, Christy Harvey announced that Not Joe the Not Plumber is leaving the Rushpublic party. Here we go, I found the source of her remarks:

Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, tells TIME he's so outraged by GOP overspending, he's quitting the party — and he's the bull's-eye of its target audience.

My stars, who next? Arlen Spec-- oh. Um. Anyway, that's some proclamation by Monsieur le Not Joe.

Current membership of the Rushpublic party: 12 11.

Hang on, wait a sec. What's that I'm hearing through my non-existent earpiece? There's a "but"?

But he also said he wouldn't support any cuts in defense, Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid — which, along with debt payments, would put more than two-thirds of the budget off limits.

Psyche! Not Joe made a Not Proclamation! What a Not Surprise.

VIDEO: Tea Partiers joke about waterboarding President Obama

By GottaLaff



Those "grassrooty" types at their pathetic Tea Pities don't seem to realize how unfunny (read: racist), unsafe, and unAmerican they are, or maybe they do:

Tea party organizers and participants have repeatedly insisted that their nationwide protests today are completely non-partisan and not meant to be anti-Obama. However, there didn’t seem to be any anti-Republican or anti-Bush signs at the protests. Instead, not only were there signs/clothing protest Obama’s policies, but some had violent or racist rhetoric.

Ironically, the AP reports that Greg Budell — a talk radio host in Montgomery, AL — said that the tea parties could “have the same impact that Montgomerian Rosa Parks had when she refused to move to the back of a city bus during segregation.”

I've already posted Oliver's photo. Now Dave Weigel from the Washington Independent reveals another sign reading, “homey don’t play dat“:

Democracy in action... if you're a white Rushpublic.

Joe The Plumber Admits He Knows “Little” About EFCA, Gets Jeered By Workers

Oh how sweet. The dumbass admits he hasn't even read the bill. Oy. Via Greg-

Oof. Looks like Joe the Plumber’s campaigning against the Employee Free Choice Act in Pennsylvania didn’t go so well.

Mr. Plumber, whose appearances were organized by the anti-EFCA group Americans for Prosperity, admitted he knew “little” about the legislation after being confronted with questions at one of the events yesterday in Harrisburg by a Pennsylvania progressive group. He was also heckled by dozens of Pennsylvania union workers, according to a local report.

And after his rough time in Harrisburg, he skipped a subsequent rally in Philadelphia, according to union officials who were there.

Here’s some video of the grilling Mr. Plumber took from the group, Keystone Progress, which prompted the irritated plumber to respond: “I know a little about a lot of things. But I don’t know a lot about everything.”…

Pressed on the specifics of the law, Mr. Plumber repeatedly refused to answer, and finally lost his cool, telling his questioner: “Drop it, brother, drop it. I never said I was an expert, man.”

Unions Protest Joe The Plumber

You know, those guys aren't the ones I would want to tick off.

What Conservatives Do For Fun

Some guy is lugging around a Snuggie™ to conservative get togethers and somehow convincing these dweebs to pose in it. Oh. My. God.

"Never let it be said that conservatives and libertarians have no sense of humor," says Americans for Tax Reform's Derek Hunter, who's been doing his best to photograph fellow conservatives sporting the trend of the moment: the Snuggie.

And it's working: So far he's convinced Joe the Plumber, Tucker Carlson and Andrew Breitbart to adorn the "blanket with sleeves" that has people mocking it while simultaneously wearing it. His boss, ATR President Grover Norquist, was the first "political celebrity" to put it on.

Sense of humor? If I didn't know better I'd think this Hunter guy was one of us just out to mock and humiliate these asses. 'Cause it's working.

Joe the Plumber tells conservatives he's 'horny'

By GottaLaff

This gives whole new meaning to the word "wingnuts". Whatever it is that arouses Sam the Fraud's shortcomings, it should never be spoken of again. Ever:

Joe the Plumber got hot and bothered in Washington Thursday night.

Appearing unable to contain his libido in the nation's capital, Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, expressed his sexual urge to a sea of conservatives gathered at Washington's Grand Hyatt hotel.

First: When one is among a "sea of conservatives", it is physically impossible to engage in sexual thoughts, let alone urges... unless, of course, one is into diapers, in which case he'd have plenty to fantasize about in said crowd.

Second: Ew.

"God, all this love and everything in the room - I'm horny," Joe said on-stage.

No, seriously. Ew. Sam just crossed the freaky line. Where did that even come from?

Oh. Here's where:

Joe was accepting an award on behalf of the "liberal media" at the 2009 MRC's Gala and DisHonors Awards, a roasting of the "most outrageously biased liberal media reporters." Faux awards of the night included "the Obamagasm" and the "Media Messiah."

What a knee-slapper! Them Rushpublics sure do have well-developed senses of humor! I guess that's their way of overcompensating for what they sorely lack in development elsewhere.

Joe, referring to himself as the "token redneck," received a standing ovation while waltzing on stage as "God Bless the USA" played overhead.

I've never seen anyone waltz on stage before. I've seen sidling, striding, even tripping. But waltzing? That doesn't sound very rednecky to me. More like an episode of Dancing with the Depraved.

Joe the Plumber suggests some members of Congress should be shot.

This is the face of the GOP? Huge kudos to Think Progress for even getting near to this crazed neanderthal.

Back in the day, really, when people would talk about our military in a poor way, somebody would shoot ‘em. And there’d be nothing said about that, because they knew it was wrong. You don’t talk about our troops. You support our troops. Especially when our congressmen and senators sit there and say bad things in an ongoing conflict.

The Daily Show: Sloppy Joes - Biden and the Plumber

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Sloppy Joes - Biden and the Plumber

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Rick Sanchez takes on Joe The Plumber

h/t Athenae.

Joe Plumber: Media Shouldn't Report War

Too sad to be as funny as it deserves. G-d forbid people have "opinions" on war. I really didn't think he was this stupid.

[Laffy Note-- Blog title addendum: Media Shouldn't Report on Joe the Cretin.]

The Daily Show On Joe The Reporter

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Burger at 1600

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

A Salute To Tito The Builder

Not as well known as JTP, but easily twice as crazed. h/t Greg.

Tito is an extremely angry Colombian immigrant who did in fact own his own construction business and might even have paid his taxes (suck it, Joe!). Tito's trademark look could only be described as "Village People, but scary." He took the stage and appeared on TV in a construction helmet and orange vest, and almost always wore black biker sunglasses. The few times he appeared on TV without the sunglasses revealed that Tito has a slight tic that makes him appear to be incessantly winking at the viewer. No wonder Sarah wanted him by her side.

Of all the hail Mary's thrown by the McCain campaign, Tito was the final stunt that really made voters think "Oh man they are officially out of ideas." Possibly the least appealing campaign spokesman since, well, Tucker Bounds, Tito the Builder constructed hope in the hearts of Obama supporters. We knew that if Tito was being put on the air and on the stage at rallies, McCain really didn't have any tricks left up his sleeve, and maybe this would be the year we finally wouldn't lose.

Joe the Plumber: McCain 'appalled me'

By GottaLaff

I'm as confused as confused can be. Call me cuh-razy, but I could have sworn Joe the Fraud was stumpin' for Gramm-pa, talkin' him up, and hopin' he'd actually-- What's the word again? Oh yeah-- win:

Joe Wurzelbacher lashed out at former GOP presidential nominee John McCain Tuesday, the man who made Wurzelbacher famous as “Joe the Plumber.”

Wurzelbacher told conservative radio host Glenn Beck that he felt “dirty” after “being on the campaign trail and seeing some of the things that take place.”

Recalling a conversation he had with McCain about the $700 billion financial industry bailout in September, Wurzelbacher said: “When I was on the bus with him, I asked him a lot of questions about the bailout because most Americans did not want that to happen.”

“I asked him some pretty direct questions,” he continued. “Some of the answers you guys are gonna receive — they appalled me, absolutely. I was angry. In fact I wanted to get off the bus after I talked to him.”

You mean to tell me... the love affair... is... is... over? Sniffle.

Asked why he didn’t leave McCain’s campaign if he was “appalled” by the candidate, Wurzelbacher said, “honestly, because the thought of Barack Obama as president scares me even more.”

Must be that whole terrorist thing. And BlagoGate must have him shivering in his boots, 'cause Blagojevich was, you know, pallin' around with pals who palled around with other pals who were vaguely associated with pals of Obama's.

Suck it up, "Joe". Obama won. Does that appall (or should I say, "a-pal") you?

When the illiterate write books: Joe, Sarah, this one's for you

By GottaLaff

(click on image to enlarge)

Typing Without a Clue is the apt title of a piece in today's New York Times. Joe the Bamboozler and Scrambled Sarah have book deals. That's enough to make anyone's head explode, but Timothy Egan (thankfully subbing for MoDo today) tries to talk us down:

I have a question for Joe: Do you want me to fix your leaky toilet?

I didn’t think so. And I don’t want you writing books. Not when too many good novelists remain unpublished. Not when too many extraordinary histories remain unread. Not when too many riveting memoirs are kicked back at authors after 10 years of toil. Not when voices in Iran, North Korea or China struggle to get past a censor’s gate. [...]

With a résumé full of failure, he now thinks he can join the profession of Mark Twain, George Orwell and Joan Didion.

I'm not talked down yet. I'm not even talked sideways.

Next up may be Sarah Palin, who is said to be worth nearly $7 million if she can place her thoughts between covers. Publishers: with all the grim news of layoffs and staff cuts at the venerable houses of American letters, can we set some ground rules for these hard times? Anyone who abuses the English language on such a regular basis should not be paid to put words in print.

Here’s Palin’s response, after Matt Lauer asked her when she knew the election was lost:

“I had great faith that, you know, perhaps when that voter entered that voting booth and closed that curtain that what would kick in for them was, perhaps, a bold step that would have to be taken in casting a vote for us, but having to put a lot of faith in that commitment we tried to articulate that we were the true change agent that would progress this nation.”

I have no idea what she said in that thicket of words.

When I write my TPC posts, even when I'm rushed, I actually try to sound coherent, and nearly always try to make a point (I say nearly always, because sometimes I depend on others to do that for me). But Scrambled Sarah apparently hasn't gotten a handle on that, yet she's getting millions and I'm humbly requesting donations from you, our generous readers.

Writing is hard, even for the best wordsmiths. Ernest Hemingway said the most frightening thing he ever encountered was “a blank sheet of paper.” And Winston Churchill called the act of writing a book “a horrible, exhaustive struggle, like a long bout of painful illness.” [...]

The idea that someone who stumbled into a sound bite can be published, and charge $24.95 for said words, makes so many real writers think the world is unfair. [...]

For the others — you friends of celebrities penning cookbooks, you train wrecks just out of rehab, you politicians with an agent but no talent — stop soaking up precious advance money.

I know: publishers say they print garbage so that real literature, which seldom makes any money, can find its way into print. True, to a point. But some of them print garbage so they can buy more garbage. [...]

I guess that’s why we have karaoke, for fantasy night. If only there was such a thing for failed plumbers, politicians or celebrities who think they can write.

And even some bloggers.