Joe the Plumber tells conservatives he's 'horny'

By GottaLaff

This gives whole new meaning to the word "wingnuts". Whatever it is that arouses Sam the Fraud's shortcomings, it should never be spoken of again. Ever:

Joe the Plumber got hot and bothered in Washington Thursday night.

Appearing unable to contain his libido in the nation's capital, Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, expressed his sexual urge to a sea of conservatives gathered at Washington's Grand Hyatt hotel.

First: When one is among a "sea of conservatives", it is physically impossible to engage in sexual thoughts, let alone urges... unless, of course, one is into diapers, in which case he'd have plenty to fantasize about in said crowd.

Second: Ew.

"God, all this love and everything in the room - I'm horny," Joe said on-stage.

No, seriously. Ew. Sam just crossed the freaky line. Where did that even come from?

Oh. Here's where:

Joe was accepting an award on behalf of the "liberal media" at the 2009 MRC's Gala and DisHonors Awards, a roasting of the "most outrageously biased liberal media reporters." Faux awards of the night included "the Obamagasm" and the "Media Messiah."

What a knee-slapper! Them Rushpublics sure do have well-developed senses of humor! I guess that's their way of overcompensating for what they sorely lack in development elsewhere.

Joe, referring to himself as the "token redneck," received a standing ovation while waltzing on stage as "God Bless the USA" played overhead.

I've never seen anyone waltz on stage before. I've seen sidling, striding, even tripping. But waltzing? That doesn't sound very rednecky to me. More like an episode of Dancing with the Depraved.

Pueblo manager for McCain campaign arrested on molestation charges

Oh lord, I did miss the GOP perverts, but this guy is just awful. I'd post his pic, but I'm afraid it would ugly up the blog permanently. h/t Oliver

Police arrested the former manager of Sen. John McCain’s Pueblo presidential campaign office Wednesday on charges he sexually assaulted a 5-year-old boy left in his care so the boy’s mother could attend a rally for McCain’s running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, The Denver Post’s Howard Pankratz reported Thursday afternoon.

(snip)

Bartleson listed his occupation as “political consultant” at the Pueblo County Jail, the Chieftain reported, but state Republican groups were quick to distance themselves from him. Bartleson indeed ran the McCain office in Pueblo and directed the Republican nominee’s southern Colorado campaign, the chairman of the Pueblo County Republican Party told Pankratz, but doesn’t hold an official party position and had only attended a few GOP meetings. The state Republican Party told Pankratz they had had “no contact” with Bartleson.