Mark Sanford avoids criminal charges following ethics investigation

By GottaLaff

Mark the C Streeter skates after pleading no contest to ethics charges. However, I wonder what will eventually come of Rachel Maddow's investigations into the suspiciously low rent he paid to live there.

As for the Appalachian Trail hike trip to Argentina sexcapades, he's home free:

South Carolina's Attorney General has decided that Gov. Mark Sanford will not face criminal charges following an investigation into his travel and campaign expenses.

The A.G. said he didn't "knowingly, willfully, and intentionally set out to break state law". He did, however, knowingly, willfully, and intentionally set out to break his family member's hearts.

But on Monday, McMaster said the ethics violations did not rise to the level of criminal conduct. The law, he said, "requires a much higher standard before criminal prosecution is warranted."

This gave Sanford the opportunity to use the word "stalwart":

He said McMaster's decision reaffirms his belief that the Sanford administration has always "been a stalwart defender of the taxpayer. "

Said the man who could very well be residing in a building owned by a group that shouldn't have tax exempt status and treats their favorite members of Congress to cut rates.

Frank Luntz’s New Talking Point: “Checkbook Tax”

By GottaLaff

I have a talking point for Frank Luntz: Shut up. I doubt he'll include that one in his memos, though. He's too busy making up new misleading catch phrases that will be picked up by candidates which will then be picked up by punditiots which will then be picked up by news dee jays.

And that's how Frank's shiny new talking points become part of the political lexicon:

Since when have corporations ever paid taxes, fees or penalties? Employees end up paying in the form of lower salaries and benefits. Customers end up paying in the form of higher costs.

And in this case, every account holder will be forced to pay higher fees on their checking account and savings account. That’s you, my friendly reader. Can you say “checkbook tax”? I can, and I think lots of candidates will be saying it come November.

What was once the ever-popular “taxpayer-funded bailouts,” which is dead wrong, will now be "checkbook tax":

[H]e’s replaced it with the new claim that taxpayers will still pick up the tab when big institutions pass on costs in the form of a “checkbook tax.”

Watch for it on a Tee Vee Machine near you!

Crashing the 'tea party'

By GottaLaff

Tim Rutten has a column in today's L.A. Times in which he cites the latest New York Times/CBS poll. He provides the actual numbers in the article.

He also reveals the Tea Baggers for who they are: "Angry white males" who are screaming their rage at federal programs they support and who are aiding and abetting Republican politicians and consultants.

How's that fakey grassrootsy thing workin' out for ya?

As it turns out, fewer than 1 in 5 Americans "supports" the tea party movement in any respect, and just 4% of all adult Americans have contributed to it or attended one of its events or both. (On any given day, you probably could drum up twice as many people who think the Pentagon is hiding dead aliens in Area 51.)

There's your million white man march, ClusterFox.

They're the "angry white males" we've been reading about since political strategist-turned-analyst Kevin Phillips first identified them as an electoral presence during Richard Nixon's successful presidential campaign in 1968. [...]

They aren't, however, implacable foes of "big government" or even of taxes.

They are, however, foes of the black man in the White House.

What the movement really amounts to is old wine in new skins, a re-branding of the old-fashioned angry white male in a camera-ready package tailored to the demands of the 24-hour cable news cycle.

That's something BendyStraw McMoneyBags and Sean Hannity are all too familiar with.

By staging rallies on April 15, and particularly in Washington, the tea party's strategists made themselves and their speakers the center of cable news coverage. This was true despite the fact that, as the poll demonstrates, a majority of the movement's supporters think their taxes are fair.

Why, that would make them hypocrites!

[T]he public packaging of the tea party movement -- and particularly events that win it TV airtime, like cross-country bus tours, rallies and ads -- is mainly the product of California Republican political consultants, foremost among them the Sacramento-based firm of Russo Marsh and Rogers.

Why that would make them hypocrites who have been duped, used, and will soon be tossed out like used Palin water bottles!

It's good to see that all the creeping socialism in the nation hasn't silenced traditional voices, like those of the angry white male, nor wrung the profit motive from our politics.

And that's the way it (really) is.

Video- President Obama cracks on Tea Baggers at fundraiser

Perry Warns Tea Partiers to Watch Their Backs on Tax Day

By GottaLaff

(via)

In addition to warning Tea Baggers to watch their backs around Evil Libruls, Rick Perry is also suggesting that it's our side, not his, that is "infiltrating" with racist signs.

Has he been under a rock for the past year? And if he really thought about it, he'd realize he just credited Democrats for being organized. Silly Ricky:

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) - Gov. Rick Perry is telling tea party organizers across Texas to watch their backs for liberals who wish to do them harm.

In an invitation-only conference call, Perry urged those participating in Thursday's tax day rallies to "continue looking over your shoulder."

Speaking of doing people harm, I guess Ricky GoodHair missed this violent run-in with Rep. Steve King (Not Liberal-IA), the gun-totin' not-liberal hatriots, the Weapons Stockpiler, the Springboro Tea Bagger, the Searchlighters who sold Obama mementos adorned with bullet holes, ad nauseam.

In addition to all of the above, dirty lefty hippies are peaceniks. He must have forgotten that, too.

H/t: I forgot, but thank you!

Cartoons of the Day

Click to enlarge, via.

Tuesday Linkage

Only two more days...

Zombie birthday cake

Doctor Who regeneration was 'modelled on LSD trips'

Biology links stress, anxiety, depression

Wanted: Sleeping bag tester to earn £600 a week!

Such tweet sorrow: Romeo and Juliet get a Twitter makeover

Wall Street Journal: Labor's Stern Said to Be Resigning Andy Stern, president of the Service Employees International Union and one of the most prominent and powerful labor leaders in the country, is expected to resign his position with the union, according to an internal union email and one of the union's board members. Mr. Stern's departure would cause a major realignment of the balance of power within organized labor, from labor-management relations to Washington lobbying efforts.

World's deepest known undersea volcanic vent found

High School Students to Research, Design and Build a 1941 Willys Coupe All Electric Hybrid

Fun with parasitic worms

Poll finds fear of domestic terrorism

Getting sick of reality TV? New survey confirms that it can be bad for your health

St. Petersburg Times: U.S. House race in Florida to test GOP's theory on upsets The GOP challenger in today's special election to replace former U.S. Rep. Robert Wexler says he's banking on public disdain for President Barack Obama's health care bill and low congressional approval ratings to deliver an upset to his Democratic opponent, widely seen as the front-runner. The contest between Democratic state Sen. Ted Deutch and Republican Ed Lynch will be the country's first U.S. House race of 2010.

Video- President's Weekly Address: Relief for the Middle Class at Tax Time

Organizers Take Steps to Keep Tea Party Rally Clean

By GottaLaff

If the Tea Tantrumers are trying to avoid images like these, these and these, fine and dandy. Personally, I have my doubts about how effective their "steps" will be (Roll Call is subscription only, so the excerpt below is all that was available to us).

From the Department of Too Little Too Late:

Thousands of people are expected to travel to Washington, D.C., next week to attend the April 15 rally against the policies of the Obama administration, and organizers are implementing new steps to ensure the crowd remains civil and its message is not diluted by personal attacks.

Maybe they should have thought of implementing New Rules when it was a New "Movement". Just think of all the spitting, shouting slurs and threats to Congress members they have been prevented.

I guess the blowback is finally catching up to them. Kudos to us for keeping up the pressure, shame on them for their despicable displays, and here's to a genuine effort to rein in the vile hostility.

Video- Fox & Friends, Varney attack IRS for going after super-rich tax evaders

Thank god someone is looking out for the extremely wealthy. Via Media Matters.

ExxonMobil paid no federal income tax in 2009

By GottaLaff

You pay federal income tax. I pay federal income tax. Just a wild guess, but I bet you make a whole lot less than ExxonMobil does. I know I do. You would think, then, that Big Oily Exxon would contribute lots and lots of money to the U.S. coffers.

That said, here's a big ol' wad of WTF:

Exxon tries to limit the tax pain with the help of 20 wholly owned subsidiaries domiciled in the Bahamas, Bermuda and the Cayman Islands that (legally) shelter the cash flow from operations in the likes of Angola, Azerbaijan and Abu Dhabi. No wonder that of $15 billion in income taxes last year, Exxon paid none of it to Uncle Sam, and has tens of billions in earnings permanently reinvested overseas.

Mother Jones’ Adam Weinstein notes that, despite benefiting from corporate welfare in the U.S., Exxon complains about paying high taxes, claiming that it threatens energy innovation research.

If that doesn't make your blood boil, then read the rest over at Think Progress.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go file for unemployment...

VIDEO- Lawrence O'Donnell: "The Republicans... really like scaring you."

By GottaLaff

Lawrence O'Donnell takes Jim DeMint down... and out... with facts:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

"The penalty for not paying the tax penalty... is nothing... There isn't a real individual mandate in this bill, because there isn't a real penalty for violating an individual mandate.

The Republicans.... reeeaallly like scaring you."

Wham.

H/t: Susie May

Tea Party, FreedomWorks, Others Plan Rally, Virtual March

By GottaLaff

Speaking of Tea Tantrumers, it looks like they're planning yet another protest for which they can inflate their numbers. Dickle Me Armey's been busy:

With the deadline for tax filings just two weeks away, several groups including the Fair Tax Campaign, Tea Party Express, Americans for Tax Reform and FreedomWorks are banding together physically and digitally to urge Congress to overhaul the tax code.

The groups, they're a-mergin'! Or, emergin'. Or, on the margin. I can't decide which.

Not Joe the Not Plumber prefers Tea Bagger hypocrisy to John McCain

By GottaLaff

In a previous post, I had said that Sam the Fake Plumber was campaigning for J Sid McCain. That was wrong.

He likes anti-tax rallies, not McCain. Why, he won't tolerate so much as a penny going toward the evil taxes that pay for things Americans need and use:

PHOENIX - Joe the Plumber [...] led a rally against Proposition 100, the proposed 1-cent sales tax. [...]

"They like to blame somebody else for their shortcomings. They like to say well, we have to raise taxes because we misspent our money here... we can't do it anymore," says Joe the Plumber, whose real name is Samuel Wurzelbacher.

Here's the correction:

Joe the Plumber says he no longer endorses McCain.

What will J Sid ever do without the strong following Sam the Faker has? Oh that's right. He doesn't have one.

Samuel Joe Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber from the 2008 presidential campaign, used part of his speech to criticize the federal government and urge the estimated 150 attendees to get behind "good" candidates in the fall elections. Earlier, he told reporters that he was not being paid for his Arizona appearance and that he was attending the Ax the Tax rally to help educate people about issues.

"I'm here to try to generate excitement and get people involved," Wurzelbacher said.

Same the Faker is there to educate, generate, and involve. How exactly can someone with very little brain, following, or charisma do that again? Anyone?

There is one thing he can do, however... and that is, hop a bus:

He also is participating in the Tea Party Express, a bus tour that kicks off today in Searchlight, Nev., home of Senate Majority Leader , D-Nev. En route to its destination in Washington, D.C., the express will stop Sunday in Phoenix at the state Capitol.

Why, that's today! Why, that's the very event that MSNBC salivated over for hours this morning! Why, Sam the Faker has found a niche! Er, another niche. He's extremely niche-riche.

However there is one niche he's no fan of at all. Not Joe the Not Plumber back in February:

"I think his [Obama's] ideology is un-American, but he's one of the more honest politicians. At least he told us what he wanted to do." And Wurzelbacher also had common-sense views on the crazies who dispute Obama's nationality and compare him to Hitler. "The birthers, the truthers — if people are trying to bunch them [with tea partiers], that would kill us. That just pushes away Democrats and independents who might come out for our cause otherwise."

Nah, what's going to "kill" you are the extreme Tea Baggeritude, lack of focus on real issues, infighting, competition with the GOP, racism, irrationality, hostility, mob mentality, costumes, crazy hats, and the sheer group eccentricity.

Come to think of it, Orly Taitz and the birther gang pretty much fit right in.

H/t: VNDNBRG

Informal Survey- Teabaggers clueless when it comes to taxes

I'd love to see their version of reality when it comes to other stuff too, but this is fascinating.

CONFUSION-BASED RAGE, CONT'D.... Former Bush speechwriter David Frum enlisted some interns this week to survey Tea Party activists protesting in D.C. earlier this week. The goal was to get a sense of the activists' understanding of taxes -- ostensibly, the "movement's" raison d'etre -- and factual knowledge.

Bruce Bartlett reported today on the survey's results, and found that for an anti-tax group, "they don't know much about taxes."

Indeed, it appears much of the Tea Party crowd is simply clueless about the issues they claim to care the most about, wildly exaggerating federal tax rates, how much a median family pays in taxes, and what's changed since President Obama took office.

In short, no matter how one slices the data, the Tea Party crowd appears to believe that federal taxes are very considerably higher than they actually are, whether referring to total taxes as a share of GDP or in terms of the taxes paid by a typical family.

Tea Partyers also seem to have a very distorted view of the direction of federal taxes. They were asked whether they are higher, lower or the same as when Barack Obama was inaugurated last year. More than two-thirds thought that taxes are higher today, and only 4% thought they were lower; the rest said they are the same.

As noted earlier, federal taxes are very considerably lower by every measure since Obama became president.... No taxpayer anywhere in the country had his or her taxes increased as a consequence of Obama's policies.

VIDEO- Michele Bachmann: "Some" have called Obama the "first post-American president"

By GottaLaff

"Some" have called Michelle Bachmann bats*** crazy. In fact, a lot of "somes", including yours truly. But "some" have never done that on national Tee Vee while holding office. That would be, you know, irresponsible.

So anyway, earlier I posted the live video feed of today's Big Bill Killing event, thanks to The Uptake and Craig Stellmacher. Osborne Ink (aka our pal Matt Osborne) got hold of the segment with you know who.

Bachmann has absolutely no idea what she is talking about. None. "We kill [the bill] because we are free." What does that even mean?

And why is she allowed to speak?

“Obama…Pelosi…Reid…They don’t represent us…right now.” Because there was no election in 2008, or because elections do not have consequences? [...]

The Constitution does, in fact, allow Congress to levy taxes (“mandate”) and appoint enforcement officers (IRS), and such laws are, in fact, binding.

Will someone tell me why the Rushpublics are so obsessed with the number of pages in this or any bill?

And once and for all, I wish they'd leave gratuitous references to god, our veterans, and "indentured servants" out of this... and everything else they muck up.

Seriously, they sound like lunatics. It's embarrassing. People are watching.

Matt has more here.

Quickie: Tax Cuts and Huge Deficits edition

By GottaLaff

Today's Quickie:

As I read about the CBO's prediction of enormous deficits, this stood out:

The larger deficit so far is due almost entirely to a drop in tax revenue.

The preceding Quickie is dedicated to Tea Tantrumers everywhere.

Snowbaggers?

By GottaLaff

A display of snowmen was set up to send a message to Michigan lawmakers. (Photos by Dawson Bell/Detroit Free Press)

First things first: Who knew snowmen could write, let alone make signs that say "Raise New Taxes? When Hell Freezes Over!"? Or that they had such a lame sense of humor?

Or that snowmen were overtaxed?

And where are the snowwomen? Why are they all white? Where's the diversity?

Are they getting compensated for their efforts? Do I detect a scandal brewing?

And they may want to rethink that whole death tax thing, since their cold little life spans are so short.

The display was the work of a mid-Michigan group called Common Sense in Government that is affiliated with the Tea Party movement.

This group might want to reconsider using the words "common sense" when their best idea is to go to all the time and effort to build a bunch of snowmen with signs to make their point... only to see them melt symbolically away.

H/t: Zaxxon23

Sen. Sherrod Brown seeks 50% tax on Wall Street bonuses

By GottaLaff

Shorter Sherrod Brown: You owe Main Street:

[Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio)] Brown wants to impose a 50 percent tax on executive bonuses at firms that received aid under the $700 billion financial bailout package. Brown's legislation would use the revenue to support loans from the Small Business Administration (SBA).

Shorter Laffy:

"Would you like to see if you qualify for this tax credit?"

Thems the pretty words I saw for the first time yesterday. I've been doing taxes for friends for years, started doing them to keep those folks from being fleeced by the various tax places "instant refund" offers. (You'd be surprised how many have and will lose a chunk of their cash just to get the remainder faster.) So yesterday I was doing the taxes for a friend (my first for the season)- older, works in a factory, single and makes about 30k a year. I've been doing his particular taxes for a few years, so I pretty much know how the drill goes and how much he usually gets back- $400-$500ish. Then the question above, with this pop up screen-

Making Work Pay Credit

Part of the government's 2009 American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, the making work pay credit reduces your 2009 taxes up to $400 ($800 for couples filing a joint return). If you're eligible for this credit, chances are you've already been receiving it in the form of reduced withholdings on your paychecks. TurboTax will figure out your credit and make sure you've received everything you're entitled to.

Now in a previous discussion I had pointed out to him the increase in his take home pay due to this credit, so I figured he wouldn't qualify. I was wrong, he received an additional $400 credit, meaning his refund was padded nicely and he was very pleased. (I did make him say "Thank you President Obama" out loud)

An extra $400 in his pocket, and I'm guessing many others. I, a political junkie and demi professional, knew nothing about it. Think this is the kind of thing that we should be touting to the folks just like him? Start telling everyone you know.