Photo of the Day

Via Watertiger.

Rick Perry won't run for president or vice president

By GottaLaff

Rick Perry swearstogod he's not running in 2012, but I smell a loophole. Tell me if, in the following, you see any mention of his hair not running:

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) tells Newsweek there's no chance he'll run for President in 2012.

Newsweek: Everybody wants to know about your plans for 2012. Are you considering running and would you consider it?

Perry: No and no.

Newsweek: You are not considering running for president. You will not run for president.

Perry: That's correct.

Newsweek: Under any circumstances?

Perry: That's correct.

Newsweek: Vice president? Would you be willing to consider that?

Perry: No. I don't care about going to Washington, D.C.

Ohhh, we're on to you, Ricky. He's just saying that because he knows D.C. won't secede. He can't make 'em, he can't sweet talk 'em, and they don't want him. Texas can keep him.

Rick Perry: Most likely to secede, least likely to succeed, very likely to suck.

That was via Taegan, who has more.

Perry Warns Tea Partiers to Watch Their Backs on Tax Day

By GottaLaff

(via)

In addition to warning Tea Baggers to watch their backs around Evil Libruls, Rick Perry is also suggesting that it's our side, not his, that is "infiltrating" with racist signs.

Has he been under a rock for the past year? And if he really thought about it, he'd realize he just credited Democrats for being organized. Silly Ricky:

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) - Gov. Rick Perry is telling tea party organizers across Texas to watch their backs for liberals who wish to do them harm.

In an invitation-only conference call, Perry urged those participating in Thursday's tax day rallies to "continue looking over your shoulder."

Speaking of doing people harm, I guess Ricky GoodHair missed this violent run-in with Rep. Steve King (Not Liberal-IA), the gun-totin' not-liberal hatriots, the Weapons Stockpiler, the Springboro Tea Bagger, the Searchlighters who sold Obama mementos adorned with bullet holes, ad nauseam.

In addition to all of the above, dirty lefty hippies are peaceniks. He must have forgotten that, too.

H/t: I forgot, but thank you!

Rick Perry ahead in Texas elections

By GottaLaff

Governor GOP - Primary

237 of 8,236 precincts - 3 percent

• Rick Perry (i) 106,145 - 52 percent
• Kay Bailey Hutchison 61,357 - 30 percent
• Debra Medina 35,268 - 17 percent

It was reported more than once that Kay Bailey Hutchison was a goner. "Throw in the towel" were the words being bandied about.

Now ClapTrap McLenoGuest can bask in more ClusterFox schlock and awe over her obvious hypnotic effect over Texas voters.

How'd she know he'd win? Someone read her palm?

Kay Bailey Hutchison Throws in the Towel?

By GottaLaff

Last October 28, I put up a post called "Why Kay Bailey Hutchison Will Lose":

Who could imagine a more engaging campaigner than Dickless McHeartStent:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney will throw his support behind Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison's (R-TX) campaign for Texas governor, the AP reports.

Hutchison is challenging Gov. Rick Perry (R) in a Republican primary.

Okay, maybe she won't lose... but only because Rick Perry is such an easy target.

The premise may have been correct, but my last line wasn't:

With polls showing her way behind in the Republican gubernatorial primary, Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) acknowledged to the AP that Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) "has succeeded at casting her as a Washington insider, hindering her effort to kick him out of the Texas governor's mansion."

Said Hutchison: "It definitely has made it more difficult for me. I didn't think that people would buy that because I've been so effective for Texas."

No surprise there, Kay. People have been buying lies, hypocrisy, the selective acceptance of those using the "R" word, secessionists, ignorance of the issues, gaffitude for a long, long time... but enough about Sarah Palin.

Speaking of Palin, she endorsed Perry. Their mutual admiration should ensure him a loss in 2010.

"Perry seems to be riding a national wave of frustration directed at Washington politicians - the same anger that has fueled the "tea party" movement and complicated the Democrats' plans to overhaul the nation's health care system. The long-serving governor who has campaigned as populist has repeatedly criticized Hutchison for pushing earmarks and voting for the $700 billion Wall Street bailout."

Nothing makes sense any more.

Antonin Scalia: "There is no right to secede"

By GottaLaff

Thank you, Markos, thank you... for linking to this:

(click on image to enlarge)

The Tea Tantrumers and Ricky the Seceder will be so disappointed

PhotOh! Future conservative voters

By GottaLaff

Via my pal Shannyn Moore, your laugh-o'-the-day:

(via)

Thoze iz Amurka'z fewchur voturz.

Texas Governor's Race Could Be Headed to a Runoff

Wow, Hutchinson must be really ticked by getting outrun by that reactionary hickboy. Via Taegan-

A new Public Policy Polling survey finds the Republican primary for Texas governor on a path to a runoff. Surprisingly, however, the runoff could be between Gov. Rick Perry (R) and Debra Medina (R), leaving Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R) as the odd-woman out.

Perry currently leads with 39%, followed by Hutchison at 28% and Medina at 24%.

Analysis: "Medina supporters say their second choice is Perry by a 43-39 margin over Hutchison, suggesting that if Perry does win by ten points but still end up in a runoff Hutchison's prospects for gaining ground on him are not that strong."

The primary is in three weeks.

Palin Hypocrisy Watch: Fire Rahm, but not Rick Perry adviser for "retarded" comments

By GottaLaff

In an earlier post, I reported on a Rick Perry campaign adviser who, per the Hutchison campaign, bandied the "R" word about.

Heartbreak McTwoFaced, ironically, supports Rick Perry and is campaigning on his behalf.

So, yeah, this isn't hypocritical at all:

Sarah Palin is criticizing a Rick Perry campaign adviser accused of using the word "retarded" - but she isn't demanding that the aide be fired. [...]

On Monday, Palin called on President Obama to fire his Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel for using the very same word in a closed door meeting about health care negotiations. [...]

She said Emanuel's use of the term, first reported in a Wall Street Journal article last week, was "heartbreaking" and merited his dismissal from the president's inner circle.

Apparently her achy breaky heart only achy aches when Democrats are involved.

UPDATE: Boss Limpdong wasn't asked to resign either.

AUDIO: Rush Limbaugh says liberal activists are "retards". Calling Sarah Palin...

By GottaLaff

At this rate, Palin will have no friends left at all:



Boss Limpdong is Barbie McLipSchmutz's palsy walsy. So is Rick Perry. How will she respond now that both camps have used the dreaded R word repeatedly?

Claiming Emanuel’s regrettable remarks gave him permission, hate radio talker Rush Limbaugh endorsed the language and said the liberal activists truly are “retards”.

Hutchison campaign: Rick Perry campaign used word "retarded" too

By GottaLaff

Le mot du jour seems to be making the rounds in the "more politically correct than thou" circles. Yes, the R word (no, not Rahm) has reared its ugly head again.

Ironically, WordSmith McTrigMom is campaigning Secession Ricky:

Now that Palin is headed to Texas to campaign for Gov. Rick Perry in his re-election bid, the campaign manager for Perry's rival Kay Bailey Hutchison is alleging that a top Perry aide used the very same term during a recent conference call.

Terry Sullivan, Hutchison's campaign manager, told CNN that Perry consultant Dave Carney dropped the "R" word repeatedly during a recent planning call between the campaigns to walk through logistics for the Jan. 14 gubernatorial debate in Denton.

Andrew Sullivan picked right up on that, and more:

"That's just retarded," Carney said when he learned about the holding room location, according to Sullivan. "That's the most retarded thing I've ever heard."

Oops, he said it again.

Tsk tsk tsk. One must be awfully careful about throwing stones when one is supporting a candidate who does exactly what one is condemning with such a vengeance.

By the way, Sully has a whole lot more to say about R-Gate, and it isn't pretty.

Rick Perry 2012: The secession candidate

By GottaLaff

How does one run for president of a country one has decided to secede from?

Texas Monthly has a nice profile of Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R), whose "fortunes have gone in opposite direction" of his primary challenger, Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX). [...]

"If Perry defeats Hutchison in the March 2 Republican primary and goes on to win a third full term in November, he will immediately join the crowd of potential presidential aspirants in 2012 -- if he hasn't done so already."

Maybe instead, he could be King of His Seceded Acreage. That way he wouldn't even have to be elected, and he could appoint his Vice King. Or maybe 3 Vice Kings and a footman. Or footperson, if he's in a politically correct mood.

King Ricky of the Seceded Acreage of Rickyton. No election necessary.

Why Kay Bailey Hutchison will lose

By GottaLaff

Who could imagine a more engaging campaigner than Dickless McHeartStent:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney will throw his support behind Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison's (R-TX) campaign for Texas governor, the AP reports.

Hutchison is challenging Gov. Rick Perry (R) in a Republican primary.

Okay, maybe she won't lose... but only because Rick Perry is such an easy target.

VIDEO- Rick Perry Gaffe-itude on Recession: "We're in one?"

By GottaLaff



How many ways can I say, "Wow!":

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R), facing a tough primary challenge from Sen. Kay Baily Hutchison (R), left many puzzled when he declared his state was recession proof.

Said Perry: "As a matter of fact ... someone had put a report out that the first state that's coming out of the recession is going to be the state of Texas ... I said, 'We're in one?'"

Paul Burka of the Texas Monthly: "This gaffe is going to stick. It is going to be national news. It will come back to haunt him in a campaign spot. If Hutchison can't make something of it, the Democrats can. You cannot be callous and cavalier when people are losing their jobs and their homes. I don't care how ideological the Republican base is. Unemployment in Texas just reached the 8% mark. Everybody knows someone who is suffering in these times. Everybody has lost part of their life savings. It could cost him the race."

Wow!

Tim Pawlenty May Invoke the 10th Amendment to Stop Health Care Reform

By GottaLaff

Timmy's playing the Tenther card? Seriously? Just when you thought Teh Stupid couldn't get any Teh Stupider:

On a Thursday night conference call with conservative activists, moderated by Erick Erickson of RedState, Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R-Minn.) broached the possibility of “asserting the 10th Amendment” to keep Minnesota from fully participating in a health care plan passed by Congress and signed by President Obama. The 10th Amendment reads:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Pawlenty, in part:

Depending on what the federal government comes out with here, asserting the 10th Amendment might be viable option, but we don’t know the details. As one of the other callers said, we can’t really even get the president to outline what he does or doesn’t support in any detail. So we’ll have to see. I’d say that’s a possibility.

You’re starting to see more governors, including me, and specifically Gov. Perry from Texas, and most Republican governors express concern around these issues and get more aggressive about asserting and bringing up the 10th Amendment. So I think we could see hopefully a resurgence of those claims and maybe even lawsuits if need be.

My achin' head. Someone make these nutballs go away.

Lawsuit over what? And while we're on that subject, aren't the lawyers the bad guys? Aren't the Rushpublics the ones who keep kvetching about too many frivolous lawsuits?

And which unconstitutional powers exactly is Obama exerting? The power of the president to veto or sign the legislation that Congress presents to him? Those unconstitutional powers?

Pawlenty and Perry, or as I will now aptly call them, PP, need to try to regain what's left of their sanity, shut their yaps, act like Americans, or leave office.

Time to flush the PP away. In other words, piss off.

Governor Who Rejected Stimulus Funds Now Needs Loan

Hutchinson is going to have some fun with this, I can see the ads already.

Earlier this year, Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) "was one of a handful of Republican governors who refused some federal stimulus funds from President Obama's economic recovery package on the grounds that there were too many strings attached to the money," CBS News reports.

"Now that the state is dire straits, however, Perry is asking the federal government for a loan to cover the very expenses the rejected stimulus money would have paid for."

VIDEO-- Rick Perry: "God Bless ['brother'] Rush Limbaugh!"

By GottaLaff



There they are: The Brothers of Invention*. May they secede from the rest of us and ride off into the sunset together.

H/t: Think Progress

*Since they invent most of what they say.

Best little whorehouse remark in Texas

By GottaLaff

Someone needs to secede from the Rick Perry camp, pronto:

A comment by a strategist for Gov. Rick Perry that the Republican Party shouldn’t open itself “like a whorehouse” to new voters has infuriated prominent GOP women in Texas and given Perry’s primary rival, U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, fuel for the re-election fight.

Perry is trying to distance himself from the remark, published in the Dallas Morning News, by consultant David Carney, but as Texas Republicans split into the governor’s social conservative camp and Hutchison’s more moderate one before the March 2010 primary, the damage was done.

Carney said he agreed the Republican Party needed to attract new voters. But, he added, “that doesn’t mean you take your principles and throw them out the door and become a whorehouse and let anybody in who wants to come in, regardless.”

Way to endear yourself to a broad (no pun) spectrum of voters, Carney.

Tele-Tea Party

By GottaLaff

Would a Tele-Tea Party be anything like a TeleTubby? If so, Tinky Winky may have some 'splainin' to do:

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) and South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford (R) will hold another "tea party protest" on Thursday night, the Dallas Morning News reports. However, this one will be a teleconference.

"The Republican Governors Association said it is expecting 30,000 people to dial in. Perry and Sanford will each speak and then organizers will open up the tele-town hall for an hour-long Q&A session. The governor's group plans to use Thursday night's sequel to gather phone numbers and email addresses that will be a useful tool for future political races."

See how clever they are? This way, they won't have to worry about permits.

Hey Gov. Perry: If Texas secedes, it gets no federal help for swine flu

By GottaLaff

First Gov. Ricky jumps on the secession bandwagon, then he denies it, then he says we're jealous of Texas for all the wrong reasons, and now he has his hand out. Wild guess: Consistency is not his strong suit:

Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) [...] is requesting help from the federal government to deal with a possible swine flu pandemic:

Gov. Rick Perry today in a precautionary measure requested the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) provide 37,430 courses of antiviral medications from the Strategic National Stockpile to Texas to prevent the spread of swine flu. Currently, three cases of swine flu have been confirmed in Texas.

Oink.