VIDEO: Florida Lawmaker Caught Looking at Porn on Senate Floor

By GottaLaff

If I had to sit through endless senate sessions, I'd sneak peeks at The Daily Show, but to each his own:



B.Us.Ted:

On Thursday morning, Sunshine State News captured exclusive video of Sen. Mike Bennett, R-Bradenton, looking at pornographic material on his state-issued computer on the Senate floor.

Ironically, as Bennett is viewing the material, you can hear a senator's voice in the background debating a controversial abortion bill.

"I'm against this bill," said the voice, "because it disrespects too many women in the state of Florida." Bennett defended his actions, telling Sunshine State News it was an email sent to him by a woman "who happens to be a former court administrator."

"I was just sitting there, bored as they were debating the abortion bill," Bennett said.

"I opened it up and said holy [expletive]! What's on my screen? and clicked away from it right away."

Sure he did.... after several seconds... after he realized someone might see. And he only reads Playboy for the articles.

Oh, but I kid the Senator.

His spokesperson said that Bennett thought he was viewing an email about an item being debated on the Senate floor. That would have been some debate.

There were other images he'd downloaded that were caught on camera, too, including at least two videos. He was also caught on camera watching a video of a dog. Apparently, nobody knows whether or not he also thought that was an email about a bill being debated on the floor... regarding spaying/neutering laws maybe?

When asked if he ever looks at pornography while on the Senate floor, Bennett responded, "You'd have to be insane to do that. It all goes through a server. I don't think anybody would be doing that."

Nah, nobody ever does that.

California students find Palin contract in trash

By GottaLaff


FlexStraw McEvian sure is picky. First she demands 100 grand for an entree of word salad, and now we find out that she will stomp her four-inch heeled foot and pout if she doesn't get water bottles, bendy straws, multiple luxury hotel rooms, and... well, dare I assume that she insists on a moosehead on every wall?

Sarah Palin will get first-class airfare for two and three rooms at a luxury hotel when she gives a speech in June for a university foundation.

And organizers better not forget to stock her lectern with two water bottles and bendable straws.

If you recall, there's been a little controversy over her screech, er, speech at CSU Stanislaus. Who knew it would involve something she sucks?

Nobody, that's who... until some CSU Stanislaus students dug into some CSU Stanislaus campus trash and discovered the CSU Stanislaus Foundation documents.... the very same documents that were rumored to have been shredded while the campus staff was on furlough (A special thank you to Ahnold for the unpaid time off).

Among other perks, Palin will fly first class — if she flies commercial. If not, "the private aircraft MUST BE a Lear 60 or larger ...," the contract specifies.

Pfft, and they say size doesn't matter. Apparently it does to Wordy McLongJet.

There was nothing in the document that specified the amount of her screeching fee.

The foundation previously denied a request to release details of the contract made by The Associated Press under the California Public Records Act.

Well! Finally that makes sense! Who'd want all those pesky details about D'mandy McDiva to get out? Isn't she just so like one of us, though?

If you recall, Stanislaus U said they had no documents. And by "had no" they meant "Why hasn't trash removal guy been here yet?"

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to my motor home to get a foot massage while my entourage handles the riffraff.

John McCain says he's the Not Maverick vs. Hypocri-VIDEOS

By GottaLaff

Stumpy McWrongMesssage used the word "maverick" when she campaigned on behalf of her old palsy walsy John Sidney McCain in Mesa, Arizona. But now her bff is essentially calling her a liar, because he now says he's not mavericky at all!

Newsweek reports that Sen. John McCain has explicitly repudiated one of the most carefully crafted and maintained images in politics, product of many years' work by, above all, Mark Salter [...]

[H]e now denies he ever was one. "I never considered myself a maverick" ...

To quote J Sid, "Heah??"



And ooooopsie daisy! At 6:26 or so, Stumpy contradicts the very candidate she claims to support. I guess J Sid forgot to fill her in on his new talking points. Then again, since when has she not been clueless:



Maybe Stumpy was just being plucky. She's so roguey mavericky that way.

H/t: Lensman23

AUDIO: RNC fake "census" mailer provides phone sex number by mistake

By GottaLaff

(Click on image to enlarge; via)

This is barely audible, and awfully ickworthy. Listen at your own risk:



Can these people do nothing right? And why do their little mishaps always involve sexcapades, even inadvertent ones? The RNC gives new meaning to Murphy's Law:

The Republican National Committee sent a fundraising mail piece earlier this month with a return number that leads to a phone-sex line offering "live, one-on-one talk with a nasty girl who will do anything you want for just $2.99 per minute."

Oops, that was supposed to be a 202 area code! But a Minnesota resident called the 800 number to complain about using a fake census form to entice donations. Surprise! Cringe Factor: 100.

It's not nice to deceive voters, RNC. When will they ever learn?

Not to mention, donations will likely suffer. Who wants to give money to the so-called Family Values party when they can't seem to adhere to their own standards?

But the Minnesotan was instead directed to a second toll-free number that greets callers as "sexy guy" before offering them the chance to talk with "real local students, housewives and working girls from all over the country."

The caller then sent the form to his Democratic congressman, who let the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee in on it.

The RNC won't reveal how many mailers went out. But, hey, check phone records to see if there was an uptick in calls to Miss XXX. That should provide a rough idea... then check to see who called back.

Oh, but I kid...

That's all for now. Stay tuned for the next episode of How the RNC Rolls. But first, hide the kids.

FEC: Bachmann’s campaign finance errors a “serious problem”

By GottaLaff

For entire PDF go here

The Loon Ranger is in hot water:

"Although the Commission may take further legal action, prompt action by you to refund, redesignate, and/or reattribute of the excessive amount will be taken into consideration.”

Among the complaints identified by the FEC, Bachmann had “one or more contributions that appear to exceed the limits set forth in the Act,” “incorrect values in the ‘Election Cycle-to-Date’ field,” “contributions from individuals for which the identification is not complete,” and the report “contains entries for contributions made by more than one person.”

Michele Bachmann, you've got some 'splainin' to do to those law and order Tea Tantrumers you pal around with.

VIDEO- GOP Congressmen: Iraq War a "horrible mistake...Everybody" thinks so.

By GottaLaff

You know that little bloodbath in Iraq we've been in for the past 8 years or so? The one that so many of us knew was wrong before it even began? The one the GOP fought tooth and nail for? The one that was a result of unrelenting fear-mongering? The one that made you a traitor to your country and a terrorist if you dared to breathe a word against it? The one that resulted in torture and maiming and 4,385 American deaths?

Yeah, that one.

Surprise! It turns out it was just a big ol' Rushpublic oopsie!




Too little too late doesn't even begin to say it:

In a panel at the Cato Institute on conservatism and war, U.S. Reps. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.) Tom McClintock (R-Calif.) and John Duncan (R-Tenn.) revealed that the vast majority of GOP members of Congress now think it was wrong for the U.S. to invade Iraq in 2003.

Isn't hindsight special? Then again, Rushpublics have always been a little backwards:

ROHRABACHER: [...] All I can say is the people, everybody I know thinks it was a mistake to go in now. [...]

NORQUIST: Of Republicans in Congress, who would agree with the general analysis here that it was a mistake and/or we should go in.

MCCLINTOCK: I think everyone would agree Iraq was a mistake.

NORQUIST: Two hundred percents. Ok, we’re going to average these.

MCCLINTOCK: And, you know, again, I think virtually everyone would agree going into Afghanistan the way we did was a mistake.

After Rohrbacher said everybody he knows thought it was a mistake, he got laughter.

Laughter.

I didn't realize 1000s of unnecessary deaths as a result of a fraudulent war was funny.

Fox refers to J.D. Hayworth as "Congresswoman"

By GottaLaff

Does his wife know?


Clusterfox.

For the dee-lish irony, go read the rest.

H/t: MADNews101

"Rather bizarre" VIDEO: Nevada Sen. candidate Danny Tarkanian (R ) Mistakes Reagan and... Reid?

By GottaLaff





Drunk or just dazed and confused?

The Hill finds a "rather bizarre" video clip of Nevada Senate candidate Danny Tarkanian (R) "stumbling over his words as he apparently tries to talk about Reagan's '11th Commandment' -- thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican."

Tarkanian refers to the famous slogan as the "11th Amendment" and repeatedly attributes it to Reid, not Reagan.

Confusing Saint Ronnie with Harry Reid won't get you too far with the Rushpub Reagan worshipers.

Maybe Tarkanian just gets stage fright. Or has a really bad memory.

Or shouldn't be running for office.

AUDIO: Rush Limbaugh says liberal activists are "retards". Calling Sarah Palin...

By GottaLaff

At this rate, Palin will have no friends left at all:



Boss Limpdong is Barbie McLipSchmutz's palsy walsy. So is Rick Perry. How will she respond now that both camps have used the dreaded R word repeatedly?

Claiming Emanuel’s regrettable remarks gave him permission, hate radio talker Rush Limbaugh endorsed the language and said the liberal activists truly are “retards”.

Sarah Palin's property tax problem; ‘I am so sorry I’m such a weasel’

By GottaLaff

The Mudflats does it again:

When the Democrats were finished with her, they had a 63-page document. There were lots of interesting things in the document, including this.

Pg. 48/63 Palin Declined to Appear in Ads for A Candidate Because He Had Not Paid His Property Taxes.

In 2004, it came to light that Republican Rep. Vic Kohring owed the borough $2,277 in unpaid property taxes on property he owns off Knik-Goose Bay Road, according to borough records. “That bothered former Wasilla Mayor Sarah Palin enough that she declined a campaign request to do a pro-Kohring TV commercial. As a former mayor, Palin said, it made her uncomfortable to back someone with unpaid taxes when the city relies on property taxes.” [Anchorage Daily News (Alaska), 10/28/04]

Admirable, huh?

Not so fast:

Recently, Sarah Palin gave an interview to Bill O’Reilly and said her favorite vacation spot was “The middle of nowhere at our cabin in Petersville,” Alaska.

And now we get to the envelope. Inside the envelope was an unsigned letter which read:

Todd and Sarah are now millionaires, but they shirk their responsibility to pay local property taxes.

One more nugget:

She talked to the Anchorage Daily News.

Pg. 15/63 Palin Called Herself “Such a Weasel” For Not Having a Firm Stand on the Property Tax Cap.

Palin said she has declined requests by Tax Cap Yes to speak in favor of the initiative. Yet, she said, she doesn’t object to her name’s continuing to be listed on the group’s Web site among 10 current or former government officials — half from Mat-Su — in support of the initiative. Palin acknowledged that she was sounding quite the politician. ‘I am so sorry I’m such a weasel,’ she said.”
[Anchorage Daily News, 10/8/00]

That was the tease. Now go read the post.

Shirky McLieLips: Our never ending source of point-and-laugh news.

Sarah Palin Used PAC Money to Buy Books

By GottaLaff

Skimmy McBookBuy wants her donors to feel fulfilled:

Sarah Palin "has been using her political action committee to buy up thousands of copies of her book, Going Rogue, in order to mail copies of the memoir to her donors," ABC News reports.

The former Alaska governor had her PAC spend more than $63,000 on what her reports describe as "books for fundraising donor fulfillment."

The Hotline notes Palin's PAC spent more money buying copies of her book than it gave in contributions to political candidates.

Flyin' off the shelves, you betcha.

Fact checking the fact checkers

By GottaLaff

My pal Celtic Diva has kindly given me permission to cross post her blog entries when I see something that bears repeating.

This sure does (Please go to her place to read the whole thing.):

Politifact boasts a 2009 Pulitzer Prize win and they felt the need to take up President Obama's offer of "neutral fact-checking" of the issues discussed at today's retreat. Perhaps they are having an off day but it sure didn't take me very long to find some glaring errors in one of the claims made by Representative Price...fact-checking the fact-checking, if you will.

Here's the email I sent them asking them to correct their errors:

To whom it may concern at Politifact.com:

Rep. Tom Price, Georgia (R) accused the Obama Administration of repeatedly stating that the GOP offers "no ideas." Your article claims that is true, when several parts of your "fact-checking" are glaringly inaccurate.

-- Your article uses as one piece of evidence a speech the President gave at a labor picnic in Cincinnati, September 7, 2009. According to you:

At a picnic with labor officials in Cincinnati, Ohio, on Sept. 7, 2009, Obama complained that the critics of health care reform -- he didn't identify them as Republicans, but it was clear he was referring to them -- were not offering their own solutions. He said, "I've got a question for all those folks: What are you going to do? What's your answer? What's your solution? And you know what? They don't have one. Their answer is to do nothing. Their answer is to do nothing."

However, the actual transcript of the speech tells a different story--he was very specific as who he was addressing--the special interests who benefit if there is no health care reform:

And because we're so close to real reform, the special interests are doing what they always do-trying to scare the American people and preserve the status quo.

But I've got a question for them: What's your answer? What's your solution? The truth is, they don't have one.

It's do nothing.

When the insurance companies and others have expensive ad campaigns out slamming the health care legislation without offering solutions, I find the assuption he's addressing the Republicans to be rather dubious.

--Again, Mr. Price claimed the Obama Administration accused the GOP of offering "no ideas." However, according to your own article, the phrase on a White House blog post and repeated by Rahm Emmanuel and Robert Gibbs was "no new ideas."

President Obama was very clear that GOP ideas provided in committee were already incorporated into the health care legislation and some were rejected. Resubmitting those same rejected ideas would make that an accurate statement.

It is NOT the same as saying they have "no ideas."

Quite frankly, I'm surprised by your sloppy fact-checking. I would respectfully request that you correct your "Truth-O-Meter" so that it is actually more truthful.

You can email Politifact.com at truthometer@politifact.com if you wish to encourage them to correct their website.

You can view the entire video of President Obama at the Baltimore retreat here.

McCain slapped with ethics complaint over robo-calls

By GottaLaff

UPDATE- Here is the audio:

Can't see the audio player? Click here.

H/t: Shaun Dakin, founder of the National Political Do Not Call Registry, who said he had never heard of a robocall quite like McCain's.

"I can't really remember a committee that had used the voice of a sitting representative in order to drive grassroots activism around a specific issue," he told Huff Post.

Original post:

He and his former running mate have a lot more in common than we thought: Ethics complaints. Couldn't happen to a crankier robo-caller:

A Washington political watchdog group has filed an ethics complaint with the Senate over robo-calls Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) made, urging voters to pressure their senators into supporting a McCain-led amendment to the Senate health care bill.

I do believe he's old enough to know better. Your thoughts?

Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, or CREW, filed the complaint with the Senate Ethics Committee on Wednesday, saying the Arizona senator and former presidential candidate violated Senate ethics rule 38, which prohibits senators from using political money to fund official Senate business.

CREW says when McCain used money from the National Republican Senatorial Committee to fund the robo-calls, he broke rule 38.

Goodness, I hope he can repair it.

"By urging voters to call their senators to urge them to support his motion, Sen. McCain was engaged in grassroots lobbying," CREW said in a statement.

Now if that's not an oxymoron, I don't know what is. However, juxtaposing the word "lobbying" with the name "J Sid" is not exactly a stretch.

Of course, Lobbyson McCrankyPants predictably retorted with the obvious:

In an interview with the Arizona Republic on Wednesday, McCain "laughed off CREW's complaint," describing the non-profit organization as "a far-left group."

CREW, ACORN, they're all alike. Just one big happy commie Marxist fascist socialist family.

45-minute WMD claim 'came from an Iraqi taxi driver'

By GottaLaff

Next time you're out on the street screaming, "Taxi!", consider this:

An Iraqi taxi driver may have been the source of the discredited claim that Saddam Hussein could unleash weapons of mass destruction within 45 minutes, a Tory MP claimed today.

Gee, I hope he was at least licensed. But I digress:

Adam Holloway, a defence specialist, said MI6 obtained information indirectly from a taxi driver who had overheard two Iraqi military commanders talking about Saddam's weapons.

And then he divulged that one commander was in the middle of a messy affair and was leaving his wife. But MI6 didn't think he was credible on that score, so we never heard any of the juicy details.

Oh, but I kid the MI6.

After the war the dossier became hugely controversial when it became clear that some of the information it contained was not true. An inquiry headed by Lord Butler into the use of intelligence in the run-up to the war revealed that MI6 had subsequently accepted that some of its Iraqi sources were unreliable, but his report did not identify who they were.

That would have been too embarrassing. It's a good thing it didn't leak out. That wouldn't have ended well.

Oops.

Holloway, a former Grenadier Guardsman and television journalist who is now a member of the Commons defence committee, wrote:

"Under pressure from Downing Street to find anything to back up the WMD case, British intelligence was squeezing their agents in Iraq for information. One agent did come up with something: the '45 minutes' or something about missiles allegedly discussed in a high level Iraqi political meeting.

"But the provenance of this information was never questioned in detail until after the Iraq invasion, when it became apparent that something was wrong. In the end it turned out that the information was not credible, it had originated from an émigré taxi driver on the Iraqi-Jordanian border, who had remembered an overheard a conversation in the back of his cab a full two years earlier.

"Indeed, in the intelligence analyst's footnote to the report, it was flagged up that part of the report probably describing some missiles that the Iraqi government allegedly possessed was demonstrably untrue. They verifiably did not exist.

"The footnote said it in black and white ink. Despite this glaring factual inaccuracy, which under normal circumstances would have caused the reliability of the intelligence to be seriously questioned, the report was treated as reliable and went on to become one of the central planks of the dodgy dossier."

Bus drivers are so much more reliable. Had they been smart, they would have gotten more bang for their buck, er, pound, er, Euro, had they relied on public transportation.

There is much more here.

H/t: DCPlod

VIDEO- McCain on Palin: 'She's irrelevant but they continue to attack'

By GottaLaff

Self-appointed President McCain must have ingested some Palin Word Cole Slaw, because out came some awkward wording:



J Sid just fumbles and churns, both inside and outside, when he discusses Barbie McLipSchmutz.

I do think he meant that we Not Team Palinites think she's "irrelevant", but it came out the way it did, IMHO, because he coughed up a Freudian slip. Somewhere in that little noggin of his, he believes what he said.

AUDIO: Charlie Crist Recording Sends Callers to Sex Line

By GottaLaff

Don'tcha just hate when that happens?

In a message callers hear when they get put on hold after calling Gov. Charlie Crist, Crist transposes a couple of numbers and turns the phone number for Florida KidCare into the number you’d call for “hot, horny girls.”

The Family Values party strikes again!

Pentagon thought Canada spied on us via Canadian coins

By GottaLaff

Note: I have made corrections and amended the title. Thank you to those who caught my mistake.

Yes, it's true, according to an e-mail, the Pentagon thought Canada had implanted radio transmitting devices into coins in order to spy on the U.S. of A.

Espionage warnings from the Defence Department caused an international sensation a few years ago over reports of mysterious coins with radio frequency transmitters, until they were debunked. The culprit turned out to be a commemorative quarter in Canada.

But at the height of the mystery, senior Pentagon officials speculated whether Canadians were involved in the spy caper, according to emails marked "Secret/NoForn" and obtained this week by The Associated Press under the U.S. Freedom of Information Act.

No, not Canada! Not our BFF! 'Kay, we would so break up with them over that.

Not that we'd ever really, really doubt the Canadians, right?

"I don't think it is an issue of the Canadians being the bad guys," the Pentagon's counterintelligence chief wrote, "but then again, who knows."

What? Wait. "Who knows"? "Who knows"?? Eeks! Dude! That's even more uncool than some famous celebrity athlete guy cheating on his wife and leaving incriminating voice mails!

Canada is among the closest of U.S. allies, its continental northern neighbour and the leading oil supplier for the U.S. The intelligence services of the two countries are extraordinarily tight and routinely share sensitive secrets.

Oh em gee, I so know! We totally confide in each other at, like, every meet-up, and that whole oil thing is, like, amazing! This whole double ultra superdupersecret spy coin thingy is so bogus. I mean, I am so seriously serious.

In sensational warnings that circulated publicly in late 2006 and early 2007, the Pentagon's Defence Security Service said coins with radio transmitters were found planted on U.S. army contractors with classified security clearances on at least three occasions between October 2005 and January 2006 as the contractors travelled through Canada.

No way. Like, I mean, that was during the BushCo years! OMG, were the contractors, like, Blackwater dudes? Come on, tell! Isweartogod I can keep a secret.

In January 2007, the government abruptly reversed itself and said the warnings were not true.

'K good, cuz that would have so been a major deal breaker and there is like, no way we coulda stayed together.

What suspicious contractors believed to be "nanotechnology" on the coins actually was a protective coating the Royal Canadian Mint applied to prevent the poppy's red colour from rubbing off. The mint produced nearly 30 million such quarters in 2004 commemorating Canada's 117,000 war dead.

This is totally humiliating. I want. To. Die. No, seriously, totally, I mean it. I hope we can still be BFF. Pleeeeze? It will never EVER happen again. Sweartogodandeverythingprecious.

Many of the emails were censored over what the Pentagon said was national security and personal privacy.

Kewl. Cuz, I mean, if anyone saw those, we'd be so grounded and laffed off Facebook and the world stage.

Serious.

H/t: Tymlee

VIDEO- Sen. Chuck Grassley: "I’ve lived off the public tit all these years"

By GottaLaff

Back on March 17, 2009, Chucky Grassley said the following: It's "irresponsible for corporations to give bonuses" when they're "sucking the tit of the taxpayer."

Apparently, he has a bit of a fixation:



H/t: MADNews101

Sarah Palin's dad: "People...don't respect us any more"

By GottaLaff

Via a tweet from Chris Cillizza:

Hey, he said it, I didn't.

Freudian slip?

H/t: DAKGirl

John Ensign Accused of Violating Campaign Finance Laws

By GottaLaff

Via Taegan via ABC News via via via:

The bombshell: "Hampton told McFadden that the money Ensign's parents paid him in the aftermath of the affair was severance -- not a gift -- as Ensign had claimed, which could constitute a violation of campaign finance laws."

Gee, ya think?

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