By GottaLaff
Mark, Mark, Mark, do yourself a favor and
take another airplane ride outta town:South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford defended his trips on expensive international flights on Tuesday and said that a state Senate probe into his foreign travel is driven by a politically-motivated "feeding frenzy."
See, Mark, here's the deal: If you don't feed a frenzy, it ceases to exist. You know what they say: Starve a frenzy, feed a cold... No. Wait. That's not right.
Sanford also told reporters that he and his wife Jenny — who moved out of the governor's mansion in Columbia last week — are not getting a divorce.
She probably just took refuge at C Street. Hey, what's good for the goose... Oo, bad choice of words.
[...] Republican state Sen. David Thomas concluded an investigation that found Sanford violated South Carolina regulations by billing the state for business and first-class seats on international flights during trade missions in 2006 and 2007. [...] Thomas told CNN that Sanford's actions could be grounds for impeachment when the legislative session begins in January.
Sanford, speaking to reporters after a cabinet meeting Tuesday, said that the state Department of Commerce purchases tickets and argued that other South Carolina governors had flown business and first class when traveling overseas in the past.
Ah, the old "Hey, they did it so it's okay!" rationalization. So would you jump off an Argentinian cliff if other governors did that?
He said that if Thomas was really concerned about his travel practices, he should have called the governor's office instead of simply releasing the results of his investigation to the media.
"I did wrong, I messed up and there are consequences for that," Sanford said, referring to his affair. "But at some point it gets to the point of the absurd, where in political terms people smell blood in the water, and they keep coming and coming and coming."
Will you never learn, Off the Mark? Only when you keep sinning and sinning and sinning.
I bet he comes up with a really good excuse, though. He has to, or he's toast. I mean, seriously, if he tries to pull one over on us with something like, oh I dunno, "I need my rest", that would be so inexcusably lame:
Sanford contended that flying business class on international flights allowed him to rest before important meetings set up to attract business to the state. "Did folks really want this governor or some other governor to fly in, go to some meetings in Rome, and look haggard in the process?," he asked.
He did it. He used the excuse. Um, Mark? If it cost over $50,000 to prevent haggarditude, yes, by all means, look zonked.
The embattled governor also responded to an Associated Press investigation that revealed he used state planes for personal and political travel within South Carolina. Sanford said he has flown on state planes less than previous administrations. "We're not perfect," he said.
No he di-in't. Did he just make it a question of relativity? And then dismiss it with "nobody's perfect"? Why yes, I believe he did.
Okay but see, it's not the cost of the flights that count, see. It's the cost of the haircut:
Sanford said that some of the claims in the story — for example, that he took a flight from Myrtle Beach to Columbia simply to get a haircut — were taken out of the context of his full daily schedule. He noted that he went to get the haircut not at a fancy salon, but at the chain "Great Clips."
Sanford got a haircut, but South Carolina got fleeced.
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