Mid Day Distraction

Wow.

Now they're giving Palin tickets away!

By GottaLaff

First the Tea Patriot event ticket prices were cut in half, now they cost nothing. Zero. Zilch. Maybe OverPaid McFreebie needs a ghost speaker.

Via Chicago Media and Radio:

This may not come as a surprise to some, but the upcoming WIND-AM event with Sarah Palin speaking is not selling very well. The high-priced tickets for the May 12th event are still quite plentiful. For the rest of this week, WIND is just giving the tickets away. From 4:00pm-5:00pm, those looking for tickets need only show up at a given Merlin shop each day this week. The first 25 listeners to stop by the Merlin locations each day will receive a free pair of tickets to see Sarah Palin speak in Rosemont and a $30.00 gift certificate to be used towards service at a Merlin 200,000 Mile Shop. The special Merlin locations for the rest of this week are:

Tuesday: 8504 S. Harlem Ave., Bridgeview, IL
Wednesday: 234 West Roosevelt Rd, Lombard, IL
Thursday: 400 Dundee Rd, Elgin, IL
Friday: 1911 S. Arlington Heights Rd, Arlington Heights, IL

In a related note, by request of Sarah Palin's people, no Chicago press or media members are being easily allowed into the event. Those media outlets who wish to be there, will have to buy the expensive tickets themselves.

The desperation is palpable. The media must pop for their own pricey tickets, and the audience has to be enticed with free seats and gift certificates. Gee, that's not embarrassing at all.

As for giving away freebies, sounds a little like... socialism!

I'm willing to bet she still won't be able to fill the house.

H/t: Windy City Watch

VIDEO: The Lowden Chicken Dance

By GottaLaff

Sue Lowden is not Harry's kind of chick. What a strange bird she is. Hopefully, this video will get her into a peck o' trouble, because it is pretty darn "fowl":

Reid's campaign blasted the video clip out to reporters this afternoon (subject line: "Seriously ... Has Sue Lowden Lost Her Mind?").

Sue Lowden, the front-running Republican challenger to Sen. Harry Reid, yesterday doubled down on her idea that health care could be paid for using the barter system.

So if you bring a pigeon, you only get your blood pressure taken? If you bring a hyena, you get a full-on physical?

What if you bring a moose? You get the Sarah Palin special? That would be half a check up during which the doctor quits in the middle.

The Santorum special is the trade-off for a poodle.

Oh, but I kid the feather-brain. I'm sure she's a good egg.

No I'm not.

What a dumb cluck. And the worst part is that she will most likely win.

VIDEO: "Toking" with Lawrence Welk

By GottaLaff

There's nothing like a "modern spiritual" to commemorate 4/20.

A-one and-a two and-a:



Extra crispy hat tip to Nicole Sandler for turning me on to this one. It's smokin' hot. I'd come up with more lame puns, but I'm taking the high road.

AUDIO: The Ed Schultz Radio Show with Lizz Winstead & Laffy

By GottaLaff

Can you tell this means a lot to me?

Seriously, what a blast, and what an honor. Lizz Winstead is so gracious, such a generous, sweet, funny pal, she nearly... nearly... made me get over my nervousness.

Okay, no she didn't, but she made it a whole lot easier.

I hope you like it:

For sale: Harold Ford's "extremely, relentlessly yellow. And turquoise" apartment

By GottaLaff

Harold Ford apparently has the taste of a '70s drunk after a bad night out discoing. How's last century's decor working out for that big real estate deal, Hal?

This is Ford's apartment — the precise location of which caused something of a stir last week when Ford was quoted (erroneously, it turns out) as claiming to live a couple blocks from the federal courthouse in lower Manhattan. [...] [I]t could be yours for $1.4 million.

Also, it is extremely, relentlessly yellow. And turquoise. [...]

The apartment has been on the market for 224 days, according to New York magazine's real estate listings, and Ford and his wife Emily Threlkeld recently dropped the price by $90,000. [...]

A rep for Ford had no immediate comment on why he lives in a prison of unrelenting yellow, and how soon he hopes to escape from it.

It's like KC and the Sunshine Band threw up:

GOP still short on women. Gee, can't imagine why...

By GottaLaff

With Rushpublic role models like Michele Bachmann and Sarah You-Know-Who, why would any woman want to get anywhere near the GOP?

And now this. And wowzers, what a "this" it is:

"It's the women that we've been missing in the past," says RNC co-chair Jan Larimer. "We're not going to miss them anymore."

They sure won't miss you.

"We're working with the women in Congress ... to empower the women in their states to get involved and to participate," Larimer told Hotline OnCall in an interview at the party's annual Winter meeting in Honolulu.

"Women sometimes need a little more handholding, or they need their friends to help them make a decision. And by our going in and talking to them and recruiting and educating and training them to either get involved in a campaign or become a candidate, we're giving them the tools so that they can do that on their own," Larimer added.

Yes, you read that correctly.

'Nuff said. Go read the rest here.

But I won't hold your hand. I'm confident you can do this on your own.

5,000,000

By GottaLaff

Thanks to you, The Political Carnival has reached 5,000,000 readers! That's 35,000,000 in dog years.

Five. Million.

5,000,000!!!

And don't even get me started on the over 7,000,000 page views. Whew! I'm exhausted from typing all those zeros!

We are as grateful as we can be. The Political Carnival's success depends on your readership, and we can't thank you enough.

You're clearly the smartest, best looking, sweetest readers in the world, and we lerve you! Exclamation point!

And just because I really liked this one:

A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY TWEEPLE. You guys are a a blast!! Thank you!

VIDEO- Rick Perry Gaffe-itude on Recession: "We're in one?"

By GottaLaff



How many ways can I say, "Wow!":

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R), facing a tough primary challenge from Sen. Kay Baily Hutchison (R), left many puzzled when he declared his state was recession proof.

Said Perry: "As a matter of fact ... someone had put a report out that the first state that's coming out of the recession is going to be the state of Texas ... I said, 'We're in one?'"

Paul Burka of the Texas Monthly: "This gaffe is going to stick. It is going to be national news. It will come back to haunt him in a campaign spot. If Hutchison can't make something of it, the Democrats can. You cannot be callous and cavalier when people are losing their jobs and their homes. I don't care how ideological the Republican base is. Unemployment in Texas just reached the 8% mark. Everybody knows someone who is suffering in these times. Everybody has lost part of their life savings. It could cost him the race."

Wow!

Michael Steele does it again

By GottaLaff

Michael Steele promised to reinvent RightieLand as Urban Suburban Edgy Hip Hoppy Off the Hook Wannabe Cool Dudes and Dudettes, and now he rep-re-sents... 'cause he's a fan of the Pack Rats:

Who do you listen to?
I actually listen to a cross section, because I like to hear what the medium is saying, what the voice is.

But do you have a favorite?
P. Diddy I enjoy quite a bit.

Do you want to rethink that?
[laughs] I guess I'm sorta old-school that way. Remember, I came of age with the DJ and all this other stuff, so I'm also loving Grandmaster Flash, and that's not hip-hop, but... Um, you know, I like Chuck D. And I always thought Snoop Dogg was--he just reminded me of the fellas back home. So I've always thoroughly enjoyed him. [...]

Who else?
I like Sinatra. I like old-school. You know, Bing Crosby, Sinatra, Dean Martin. Love Dean Martin. He was one of these guys who just didn't give an F. He just didn't. Life was a party, and you either want to party or you don't. But yeah, I like those. I'm a big Pack Rat. I love the Pack Rats from the 1950s--Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Frank Sinatra, those guys.

You mean the Rat Pack.
The Rat Pack, yeah.

Michael Aluminuminuminum is the most uncool, un-urban suburban, un-edgy, un-hip-hoppy embarrassment in all the land. His appeal now extends to... nobody. It's painful. I feel the urge to self-medicate when I read about him.

H/t: RAM

Sarah Palin still thinks she has the power to appoint

By GottaLaff

To anyone out there who still believes Grandma Also (did Bristol ever give birth?) has any clue whatsoever about anything whatsoever also too, including how her very own Alaskan very own government works, this should finally give you pause:

GIZZI: You made it clear in our interviews earlier this year that you were not close to fellow Republicans Sen. Ted Stevens and Rep. Don Young from your state, both of whom you said had a different vision of Alaska’s dealings with the federal government than you did. Were you pleased with the election of Democrat Mark Begich who defeated Stevens and with the re-election of Rep. Young?

PALIN: I met yesterday with Sen.-elect Begich to see that we are on the same page as we move forward as he starts his new job representing Alaska.

I thought that Sen. Stevens was going to be re-elected, and it was so close, and that if he were to step aside because he was convicted [on corruption charges], then I would get to appoint a Republican. So I was kind of surprised at the outcome there.

Did you get it? It’s in the second paragraph of her answer; “then I would get to appoint a Republican.” Wha…? Wh-wha…? [...]

If you didn’t get it, I’ll remind you of the background. And keep in mind while I recount, that Sarah Palin was Frank Murkowski’s immediate successor. She ran for Lt. Governor in 2002 when all this started. She was not living in the woods, subsistence hunting, and cut off from civilization. [...]

[Frank] Murkowski decided that he was going to run for governor. So he ran, and he won. Now came the question of who would succeed Frank in his Senate seat. [...] Frank chose his daughter, Lisa Murkowski to fill his seat. [...] Republicans and Democrats alike across the state were seeing red. It was a huge, big, fat, major deal. [...]

And to make a very long story short, the issue made it to the ballot. Should Alaskans continue to allow Senators to appoint their replacements, thereby assuring the continuity of representation in the Senate? Or should voters hold a special election, foregoing the continuity, in favor of keeping control over who actually gets the seat.

The special election won hands down. The governor was stripped of the power of appointment. [...] [A]nd everybody who wasn’t living in a cave knew it.

Apparently Sarah Palin was living in a cave, because she just told the planet how bummed she was that Ted Stevens didn’t win, and then get convicted, so she could appoint a Republican to his seat.

Shortly after Palin’s Human Events interview was released, Shannyn Moore talked to Senator Elect Mark Begich on Air America. She asked him what he thought of her misperception, and complete lack of understanding about what she does and does not have the power to do.

King of the diplomatic understatement, Begich said he was “a little surprised” when he read it. He went on to say, “You and I both know, as do thousands of people who voted. I don’t know what that all meant. It was a little odd.”

I’ll tell you what it all meant. It meant that Sarah Palin has not been paying attention to some incredibly basic aspects of Alaska government, and hasn’t been since at least 2002 when Murkowski the Younger was appointed to the Senate. She also wasn’t paying attention in 2004, when the law was changed. She also wasn’t paying attention in 2008 when every national news media was asking whether she had the power to appoint, and the answer was no.

In addition, to anyone out there who still insists on equating Grandma Also's "experience" with Obama's, this should prove once and for all that it's not merely one's experience, but how one applies it, that matters. That and a minimum of judgment. And logic. And awareness. And intelligence. And intellectual honesty. And ability. And not being an utter ditz with the attention span of a gnat.

Sarah Palin: See, Peter Principle.

Main Entry:

Peter Principle

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Laurence J. Peter †1990 American (Canad.-born) educator

Date:

1968

: an observation: in a hierarchy employees tend to rise to the level of their incompetence

Duke of Hurl

By GottaLaff

"Ouch" doesn't begin to say it:

An online petition seeking to rally support for a presidential pardon for convicted Rep. Duke Cunningham (R-CA) has 13 signatures -- after three years.

Comedy Binky Palin's Big Day

By GottaLaff

It's an addiction. My inner stand-up comic is hooked. I can't stop suckin' on my Palin comedy binky.

Today, for whatever reason, Comedy Binky Palin was allowed to speak, and even give her version of a press conference. Her very first press conference! Where the press could ask her questions, and she would answer them! Questions! Answers! Really! Think of the possibilities!

Let's take a peekaroony at how she held up against the throng of salivating journalists who were virtually climbing all over each other to get a few answers:







No, that blank space isn't an example of my typically inferior typing skills. CB Palin took a total of three-- count 'em three-- questions. And then Rick Perry escorted her off the platform.

But that's not important now. What is important is her speech! To other governors! At the GOP governors' event! Where she spoke! Because if there's anything CB hasn't done enough lately, it's run off at the mouth.

I took notes. Here are a few samples of her stunning Palinisms:

"I remember all the young girls at my rallies."

The young girls were mentioned repeatedly. Young girls. Glass ceiling. Young girls. Glass ceiling. Apparently, those young girls are very, very, very important to her.

However.... not important enough to include in the veterans portion of her Big Speech:

"I will remember the veterans and POWs." Then, in the next breath, she referred to them as "these men".

No mention of female veterans.

I guess those young girls didn't count.

But CB redeemed herself. She fell into default mode by-- in addition to the usual annoyingly endless run-on sentences-- paying tribute to... wait for it....

Joe the Plumber.

Quote: People feel comforted by Joe the Plumber. Unquote.

Oh, and Tito the Builder is a hero, too. Lest anyone were to forget. Lest.

Default mode kicked in again when she returned to her gosh'n'golly cadence, droppin' Gs like they were scaldin' hot mooseburgers, in a folksy-fun reference to Charlie Crist. He teased her about callin' him "darlin'". That was too soft and mushy for him. So she shot right back by referring to him as "tough Chuck". Yes, "tough Chuck". Charlie "I got engaged-- to a woman" Crist... is now Tough Chuck.

Next: Lots and lots of references to special needs children. With emphasis. Lots of emphasis. On special needs children. At one point she actually punctuated her special needs run-on with, "Like, alright!!" Like, gutsy, huh?

Then, with a cheery "Annie" arm pump and a "Yep! We are now the minority party, but let's not become the negative party", she proved once again that pallin' around with hypocrisy was A-OK with her.

And finally, by mentioning Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Barney Frank by name, she confirmed how not partisan she is... which, just by the way, was one of her selling points. Bipartisanship.

CB Palin may need her own comedy binky, because, at the risk of sounding like one of my students, she sucks big.
UPDATE: Here's the video of her "press conference":

Here's the video of her speech:

From the Dep't. of Duh: Bush disapproval ratings reach new record

By GottaLaff

After seeing this photo, I bet the poll numbers will drop even lower:

As President-elect Obama visits the White House, a new national poll suggests that the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is the most unpopular president in the six decades since presidential approval ratings were first measured.

Seventy-six percent of those questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Monday disapprove of how George W. Bush is handling his job as President. That's an all-time high in CNN polling, or in Gallup polling dating back to World War II.

"No other president's disapproval rating has gone higher than 70 percent. Bush has managed to do that three times so far this year," says CNN Polling Director Keating Holland. "That means that Bush is now more unpopular than Richard Nixon was when he resigned from office during Watergate with a 66 percent disapproval rating."

Prior to President Bush, the record holder for presidential disapproval was Harry Truman, with a 67 percent disapproval rating in January of 1952, his last full year in office.

I've included a couple of my oldies to celebrate Bush's new status. It's Laffy video day on TPC!

Calls for Obama inauguration tickets through the roof

By GottaLaff

UPDATE: Obama inauguration tickets already offered for sale online. Snippet:

On eBay, 18 bidders have driven up one pair to more than $1,000. One Web site, Inauguraltickets.com, is inviting members of the public to place orders, warning "Our prices will reflect the difficulty in obtaining" tickets. Another site, Dreamtix, is offering a variety of seats ranging from $1,400 to $21,000 a pop. Carole Florman, Communications Director for the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies, says "anyone claiming to have tickets to sell right now, or saying that they will guarantee tickets, is not telling the truth."

Baracking our world:

In the three days since the election of Barack Obama, the demand for tickets to Inauguration Day events has been unprecedented, local congressional officials said.

"It's crazy," said Sharon Jenkins, spokeswoman for Rep. Bobby Rush (D-Ill.). "We're in a unique moment in U.S. history. Every day under Obama's administration is a first, and people want to be a part of it."

Tickets to inaugural events are free of charge and distributed through members of the incoming Congress. The ceremonies are coordinated by different committees, and the tickets to the events are distributed differently. Events include a morning worship service, a procession to the Capitol, a swearing-in ceremony, an address, a parade and balls. [...]

At the office of Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-Ill.), officials are adjusting their Web site to handle the demand because the volume of calls has been so overwhelming.

It's a movement.