Comedy Binky Palin's Big Day

By GottaLaff

It's an addiction. My inner stand-up comic is hooked. I can't stop suckin' on my Palin comedy binky.

Today, for whatever reason, Comedy Binky Palin was allowed to speak, and even give her version of a press conference. Her very first press conference! Where the press could ask her questions, and she would answer them! Questions! Answers! Really! Think of the possibilities!

Let's take a peekaroony at how she held up against the throng of salivating journalists who were virtually climbing all over each other to get a few answers:







No, that blank space isn't an example of my typically inferior typing skills. CB Palin took a total of three-- count 'em three-- questions. And then Rick Perry escorted her off the platform.

But that's not important now. What is important is her speech! To other governors! At the GOP governors' event! Where she spoke! Because if there's anything CB hasn't done enough lately, it's run off at the mouth.

I took notes. Here are a few samples of her stunning Palinisms:

"I remember all the young girls at my rallies."

The young girls were mentioned repeatedly. Young girls. Glass ceiling. Young girls. Glass ceiling. Apparently, those young girls are very, very, very important to her.

However.... not important enough to include in the veterans portion of her Big Speech:

"I will remember the veterans and POWs." Then, in the next breath, she referred to them as "these men".

No mention of female veterans.

I guess those young girls didn't count.

But CB redeemed herself. She fell into default mode by-- in addition to the usual annoyingly endless run-on sentences-- paying tribute to... wait for it....

Joe the Plumber.

Quote: People feel comforted by Joe the Plumber. Unquote.

Oh, and Tito the Builder is a hero, too. Lest anyone were to forget. Lest.

Default mode kicked in again when she returned to her gosh'n'golly cadence, droppin' Gs like they were scaldin' hot mooseburgers, in a folksy-fun reference to Charlie Crist. He teased her about callin' him "darlin'". That was too soft and mushy for him. So she shot right back by referring to him as "tough Chuck". Yes, "tough Chuck". Charlie "I got engaged-- to a woman" Crist... is now Tough Chuck.

Next: Lots and lots of references to special needs children. With emphasis. Lots of emphasis. On special needs children. At one point she actually punctuated her special needs run-on with, "Like, alright!!" Like, gutsy, huh?

Then, with a cheery "Annie" arm pump and a "Yep! We are now the minority party, but let's not become the negative party", she proved once again that pallin' around with hypocrisy was A-OK with her.

And finally, by mentioning Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Barney Frank by name, she confirmed how not partisan she is... which, just by the way, was one of her selling points. Bipartisanship.

CB Palin may need her own comedy binky, because, at the risk of sounding like one of my students, she sucks big.
UPDATE: Here's the video of her "press conference":

Here's the video of her speech: