VIDEO: "Can this doctor take this chicken to a gas station?"

By GottaLaff

Chickens for Check-Ups calls fowl on Chicken Sue (who, if you missed it, has backed off her inane, clucked-up bartering comments... sort of a poor man's Cash for Cluckers) with their first TV ad:




H/t: Greg Sargent

Sue Lowden finally chickens out: “Bartering Is Not A Policy”

By GottaLaff



Chicken Sue finally chickened out. Join me in the Chicken Dance to celebrate the end of her extended, and hilariously pathetic, clinging to the few feathers that remained of her health care barter system.


Via Greg Sargent:

[T]he candidate has now taken to her blog to clarify once and for all that she is not advocating for a chickens-for-checkups health plan:

I can understand why Harry Reid and his Washington allies and Hollywood friends are creating political theater rather than solving real problems. Bargaining, bartering and negotiating for health coverage is not a policy — it is a fact. It is occurring today and has been since the founding of our nation. If you want to see my policy on health care reform, it has been on my web page since last year -– and it remains there to this day. Nowhere in my health reform proposal do I discuss bargaining, bartering or negotiating, rather I offer real solutions that work without creating a new, government-run entitlement program that Nevadans don’t want and they cannot afford.

And people say Joe Biden has gaffe-itis.

Senate Republicans may offer their own measure to overhaul Wall St.

By GottaLaff

According to Republicans, size matters:
Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, holds a copy of the health care bill on the West Front of the Capitol in Washington, Thursday, Nov. 5, 2009, during a Republican health care news conference. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

I can picture them now, counting the number of pages, because that's all that really counts:

Republican aides said they may quickly offer an alternate measure that has been in drafting for months.

“We have been drafting an alternate approach from the very beginning,” an aide said.

Asked whether Republicans would offer an alternate bill, an aide said it is possible. “I think so, yes,” the aide said.

I wonder how many meetings with Big Bankers it took to come up with something lucrative enough to agree on.

If it's anything like their poor excuse for a GOP health care bill, it should look a little something like this:

The Lowden Plan: Chicken Converter!

By GottaLaff

Little did Chicken Sue know that when she insisted on touting her Chickens for Chest X-Rays plan, she'd created her own Macaca Moment.

The yolks, er, jokes have been flying like hens running from foxes. Poor ol' Sue has egg on her face, and it doesn't look as if it's going to let up any time soon.

Presenting the Lowden Plan (click on images to enlarge):


Reading the fine print is a must. It's hilarious.

Go to the site and click on all the fun places.

H/t: HarborGuy

GOP state rep.: "I know someone in the medical field who has been paid with vegetables"

By GottaLaff

Chicken Sue of Barter, Inc.,has a soul mate! Lucky her. Now maybe she won't feel so alone. Wackiness loves company, after all.

Rep. Mike Bell (R-TN) and Democratic state Rep. Joe Towns were discussing a possible state law-- what else?-- nullifying the mandate included in the newly passed health care law.

The law that passed. Legally. The law of the land. That law.

Bell was going on about how some people do just fine without insurance, and have no problem paying with cash, even when hospitalized.

That would be some big hunk-o'-cash:

Towns: You're saying they pay cash? For organ transplants and cancer and heart cases, they pay cash?

Bell: I said they pay cash or work out other arrangements. I know for a fact. I know someone in the medical field who has been paid with vegetables from the Mennonite community.

Towns responded as we would have, that it's a little unrealistic to expect people to schlep bags of carrots and broccoli down to, say, the electric company in return for "juice" (Bad pun; bygones).

I, for one, brought a tomato to Macy's when they had a sale on socks. They insisted on turnips.

Oh, but I kid the mall.

But for the sake of argument...

Have either of these barter-happy nutballs figured out where places of business would store all the livestock (and the livestock's waste) and perishable edibles?

And why anyone would need, or want, 70 pounds of brussel sprouts instead of money?

And how would the doctors then pay their own bills, not to mention the additional costs of upkeep?

Those are some sharp political minds, speaking of vegetables....

Chickens for Check-Ups: The Website!

By GottaLaff

Last night I had a little fun with Sue Lowden's new and improved health care plan: Bring a chicken to the doctor in return for medical care.

For example, I bring a hen, or a copy of Al Franken's Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right, and I get a proctological exam. Why didn't Congress think of that? It's right up their... alley.

So simple. So. Very. Simple.

Like the person who thought of it:

"Before we all started having health care, in the olden days, our grandparents, they would bring a chicken to the doctor," Lowden told a local news station. "They would say I'll paint your house." [...]

Lowden's campaign sent a letter to the Las Vegas Review-Journal Wednesday defending her stance and providing a testimonial of "Robin L. Titus, M.D." who claims that he has "bartered with patients -- for alfalfa hay, a bath tub, yard work and horse shoeing in exchange for my care." Her campaign has also been circulating an extensive background document explaining the perks of bargaining with your health care provider.

The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee didn't waste much time developing a Very Special Website touting Chicken Sue's idea. Let the mockitude begin (click on image to enlarge):

Yes, it's an interactive site where you can write your very own letter to Chicken Sue, clicking on your very own options!

I wrote in telling her I'm looking for a doctor for "ill humours" (no "sick humor" option), offering my best ranch hand in exchange for medical services rendered. And what a ranch hand he is! He's worth at least three physicals.

What could be simpler?

H/t: harborguy

Sources: Crist Will Run as an Independent

By GottaLaff

The "big tent" Rushpublic party is very skilled one thing: pushing members right out of that big tent. You're either far right or you're wrong... except in the states in which being a not-extremist pays off.

Apparently Florida isn't one of those:

"Reliable sources" tell the Southern Political Report that Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R) "is preparing to announce sooner rather than later that he will leave the GOP and continue his run for Senate as an independent. Sources add that the speech Crist will use in his announcement is now being drafted."

"The only thing that likely would stop a Crist independent run now is for the pressure from disillusioned Republicans and longtime Crist supporters to put so much pressure on him not to run at all that he relents. That pressure is mounting almost by the hour. Or that pressure could only speed up his party switch."

Maybe he can initiate a Florida for Crist Party. I'm sure Joe Lieberman would be more than happy to give him a few pointers.

VIDEO: The Lowden Chicken Dance

By GottaLaff

Sue Lowden is not Harry's kind of chick. What a strange bird she is. Hopefully, this video will get her into a peck o' trouble, because it is pretty darn "fowl":

Reid's campaign blasted the video clip out to reporters this afternoon (subject line: "Seriously ... Has Sue Lowden Lost Her Mind?").

Sue Lowden, the front-running Republican challenger to Sen. Harry Reid, yesterday doubled down on her idea that health care could be paid for using the barter system.

So if you bring a pigeon, you only get your blood pressure taken? If you bring a hyena, you get a full-on physical?

What if you bring a moose? You get the Sarah Palin special? That would be half a check up during which the doctor quits in the middle.

The Santorum special is the trade-off for a poodle.

Oh, but I kid the feather-brain. I'm sure she's a good egg.

No I'm not.

What a dumb cluck. And the worst part is that she will most likely win.

The GOP: 2010 v. 2012. "As for Palin — well, as Brooks says, she’s a circus."

By GottaLaff

There has been all kinds of speculation about how the Dems will lose the House in November, and how Democratic House and Senate seats will drop like bad Palin lines, and how the GOP is struttin' their stuff, and blahblahblah.

Oh, and "blahblahblah" was a direct quote. Far be it from me to take credit for brilliance like that.

But what about 2012?

Well now, that's an elephant of a different color. Or is that "different smell"?

Bits and pieces from an article you should read in full by Ed Kilgore over at Salon:

But its demographic noose is less evident than an even bigger GOP problem for 2012: the party's likely presidential field. This is not something Republicans much like to talk about.

Funny, they like to talk about everything else, a lot, over and over, ad nauseam, even when the everything else doesn't contain a scintilla of truth.

And history suggests that it's already too late for someone new to emerge....

...although WinkEye McNeverHome did make a rather late entrance into the Vee Pee scene.

Republicans, like or not, are probably stuck with the presidential field they now have. And it’s not a pretty sight.

Perhaps if one squints... with both eyes... tightly.

As for Palin — well, as Brooks says, she’s a circus. [...] But she almost certainly can’t win a general election in any political environment. That, not fear, is why Democrats love to talk about her, all but openly egging her on to run. ...

...contrary to Rushpublic spin.

And then there's Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour — just in case Republicans want to nominate a former big-time professional lobbyist who also sounds like Foghorn Leghorn.

Oh how quickly they forget Fredhorn Leghorn of nap fame.

There may not even be a Bob Dole or a John McCain in this mix — the kind of candidate who can reassert adult control and at least lose gracefully in the general election.

So let Republicans enjoy their 2010 comeback. It was all but foreordained by the last two cycles, and by the very demographics that threaten the GOP in the long run. Allow them to celebrate their “fresh faces” [...] But their 2012 prospects will go straight downhill starting on Nov. 3, 2010. That's when Republicans will have to start to deal with the consequences of their recent bout of self-indulgent destructiveness, when they'll begin choosing someone to take on Barack Obama not in press conferences or talking points or Tea Party protests, but in a presidential election.

Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease get WinkEye to debate President Obama. Wishful thinking, I know, but ohpleaseohpleaseohplease anyway.

Tea Partiers Sue over Party Name

By GottaLaff

Let's see if we can follow this: The Party of No unifies around a message of obstruction. But the Tea Baggers are obstructing too, only they're blocking each other. They aren't joining in each other's reindeer games. And within the Tea Bagger gang, there are a couple of different Tea Bagger gangs who sit at different lunch tables and won't share Twinkies with their brethren. But they do have the words "tea" and "party" in common.

And that turns out to be a problem:

On April 14, a U.S. District Court in West Palm Beach, Florida, saw papers filed from more than one faction of the fractious movement each claiming the intellectual property rights to the name "Tea Party."

Intellectual? That must be a typo. There is nothing "intellectual" about Tea Tantrumers.

Let's recap:

The unruly group within a larger unruly group that won't play with the other unruly group but shares a common name wants control of the name that the various unruly groups claim ownership of as opposed to affiliating themselves with the GOP.

Clear?

Short version: They're going to federal court over the name "Tea Party".

That would be the same federal court that is "organized under the Constitution and laws of the federal government of the United States." The very same one that infringes on the Tea Tantrumers' liberties. Yeah, that one.

Will you excuse me for a minute? I need some popcorn and a refreshing beverage with a bendy straw.

And because it just wouldn't be millennial politics, or legal actions for that matter, without a little mud-slinging, each side is calling the other's political loyalties into question.

See how amusing splitting the Republican vote can be?

More here.

H/t: Coopster04

Poll-itics: President Obama beats every GOPer in possible 2012 showdown

By GottaLaff

How's that cringey-losey thing workin' out for ya, Poll-y McBadNumbers?

A CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Tuesday also indicates that President Barack Obama would top the former Alaska governor by double digits in a possible 2012 general election showdown.

D'oh!

I wish her well on her Tee Vee Machine endeavors.

No I don't.

Click on images to enlarge... and check out those Hillary numbers:


And 30% thought Barbie was qualified to be president. Undoubtedly, those would be the same 30% that have no Tee Vee Machines, no Radio Machines, don't/can't read newspapers, and don't own computers.... who would still vote for Bush.

Extension of jobless benefits clears GOP roadblock

By GottaLaff

I just love winning skirmishes. Skirmish-winning is my favorite pastime. Especially when it's against the Rushpublics. Especially when it provides badly needed benefits to jobless Americans.

Especially when it means another Democratic victory:

Democrats in the Senate won an initial skirmish Monday to restore unemployment benefits to hundreds of thousands of jobless people despite Republican criticism that it would add $9 billion to the nation's debt.

The 60-34 vote killed a GOP filibuster against debating the measure, which would extend jobless benefits through May 5 along with short-term extensions of several other lapsed programs.

Hmm, I wonder if anyone from the right side of the aisle voted with the Dems.

Uh-oh. Scott "Pink Leather Shorts" Brown did. Again. What will the Tea Tantrumers say?

Collins and three other Republicans - Olympia Snowe of Maine, Scott Brown of Massachusetts, and George Voinovich of Ohio - voted Monday to advance the short-term measure.

What mavericks. Maybe that's where John McCain's nickname went.

As for all the GOP whining about deficits:

"Unemployment extensions have always been considered emergency spending, and there's a reason for that," said Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y. "Unemployment insurance is a form of stimulus, but offsetting the extension of this program would negate the stimulative impact. It would be robbing Peter to pay Paul."

Kill the fil!

VIDEO: Bobby Jindal mocks RNC staffers

By GottaLaff

Um, Ba-Ba-Ba-Bobby Jindal? Wrong joke to the wrong crowd at the wrong time in the wrong room. Major rule of comedy: Know your audience.



Way to win over your own side, Sparky:

How do you get a lukewarm reaction from an otherwise friendly crowd? Joke about the politically embarrassing elephant in the room. That is just what Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal did Friday at the SRLC, having a laugh at the expense of the RNC.

Mock and awe fail.

CT GOP Sen. candidate Linda McMahon warned steroid doctor of investigation

By GottaLaff

This won't exactly be a 2010 vote-getter:

In December 1989, as federal investigators were zeroing in on a Pennsylvania doctor who would soon be convicted of selling steroids to professional wrestlers, Linda McMahon sent a confidential memo to a fellow executive at Titan Sports, the family company that operated what was then known as the World Wrestling Federation.

The WWF, she wrote, should alert Dr. George T. Zahorian III that a criminal investigation could be heading his way, according to court documents reviewed by The Day.

"Although you and I discussed before about continuing to have Zahorian at our events as the doctor on call, I think that is now not a good idea," McMahon wrote in the memo. "Vince agreed, and would like for you to call Zahorian and to tell him not to come to any more of our events and to also clue him in on any action that the Justice Department is thinking of taking."

How above board and transparent of her. Who could ask for a better candidate than one who meddles in legal affairs that include steroidy drugs?

I'm sure she has a perfectly good explanation, though:

In an interview last week, McMahon said she could not explain the reason she directed Pat Patterson, a former wrestler, WWE executive and consultant, to alert Zahorian to the fact that he was under investigation.

See?

Connecticut can do better. Sneaky memos about secret drug dealings just won't cut it in a candidate. Then again, escapades like this are par for the GOP these days.

There is a whole lot more. Toddle on over and take a look-see.

H/t: TPM

Election 2010 approaching, Democrats outdo GOP on campaign funds

By GottaLaff

Those disorganized Democrats, they can't do anything right.

Oh wait. They passed health care reform. They're turning the economy around. They passed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009. They're getting us out of Iraq... you get the idea.

And now, they're out raising the Rushpublics:

With eight months to go before congressional elections, House and Senate Democratic candidates exceed in virtually every important campaign fundraising category. Democratic House lawmakers appear likely to reverse their seven-cycle record of being outspent by House Republicans, according to recent finance reports.

Of course, that could change, but for now, let's put on our thinking caps and figure out why this is happening.

Could it be the....

...controversy over lavish and questionable expenditures by the Republican National Committee -- including chartered airplanes and a young Republicans' night out at a bondage-themed nightclub in Hollywood...

Why yes, yes that very well could be a factor.

What about their constant Party of No-itude? Check!

Here comes the H word again... However:

One wild card this year is the impact of last year's Supreme Court decision lifting limits on direct expenditures by corporations or unions on advertising supporting particular candidates. Some Democrats are concerned that corporations might open their checkbooks for their favorites, but an internal Republican fundraising presentation for party leaders in February predicted it would have "NO direct effect on . . . [Republican] parties or candidates."

Likewise, spending this year by regulated advocacy groups, known as "527s," is hard to predict, particularly since a federal court said on March 26 that such groups can now accept unlimited contributions by wealthy individuals.

Stay tuned.

You can read many more details here.

Flip flop- GOP senators: We can work with Dems despite healthcare battle

By GottaLaff

Now we won't! No we can't! Hell no we can't! Well.... okay, maybe we can:

Now Republican centrists say they are willing to move forward with Democrats on other issues.

Wait. There are Republican centrists? I remember them! Vaguely.

Sen. Olympia Snowe (Maine), the Republican that Democratic leaders consider most likely to join them on future initiatives, says she is still willing to work across the aisle.

Sen. Lindsey Graham (S.C.), who is negotiating with Democrats on energy and immigration reform legislation, has said he will not cut off talks because of the controversial use of reconciliation, which allowed Democrats to move a package of fixes to the healthcare legislation with only simple-majority votes. [...]

Sen. Judd Gregg (N.H.), the Republican point man on reconciliation rules, told The Hill the rulings of parliamentarian Alan Frumin were “fair.”

Woweee! They "won't cut off talks"! They'll "consider"! The parliamentarian was "fair"! If that's not compromisey, I don't know what is.

Mugger to victim: "Hey, if you give me all your money and let me beat you to a pulp, I won't kill you."

We owe the Rushpublics a debt of thanks. Allowing the Dems to "talk" after more than a year of reckless obstruction is a gift. Who could ask for more?

But... but... Didn't Lindsey stomp his foot and pout, take his toys and go home? I coulda sworn he did....

Graham warned earlier this month that Democrats would “poison the well” if they passed healthcare reform legislation with a simple majority [...]

But Graham backed off his earlier warnings Sunday and said he would continue to work with Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) on immigration reform and other issues.

Whew! Thank you, Lindsey. Thank you so much. We're indebted. We'll be your slave for a week!

Now about that Olympia... she seems reasonable, doesn't she? Until she doesn't. Here comes that pesky However again:

Snowe, however, cautioned that her willingness to cooperate has its limits and urged Democrats not to push bills that are too sweeping in scope.

She cautions, she urges, she places limits. What a generous gesture.

Wait, what's this? Bob Corker has even, um, uncorked a little:

Also last week, during the height of the reconciliation debate, Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) suggested that Republicans could gain more policy-wise by working with Democrats.

See how reachy-outy they are after they realize what fools they've been, boxing themselves into Just Say Hell No corners, getting all kinds of negative press, and-- What's that word again? Oh yes-- losing?

Yep, they're bipartisan as all-get-out... in an election year... and until the next piece of legislation is put in front of them.

Chamber of Commerce Won't Back Repeal

By GottaLaff

If the GOP's BFF, the Chamber of Commerce, won't touch this, fuggetaboutit:

"Republicans in Congress shouldn't look to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce to support a repeal of the health-care overhaul," the Wall Street Journal reports.

Said Chamber President Thomas Donahue: "If people want to try and repeal, let them. We're not going to spend any capital on that."

What a waste of time, money, and energy the whole notion of repealing health care reform is.

If the GOP cares so much about this country, how about investing in something worthwhile, something that could, you know, help Americans? That would be novel.

The new and unimproved right wing meme

By GottaLaff

Yes, Big Bad Mean ol' Nancy Pelosi is a big bad mean ol' threat to the poor wittle Wushpublic cwy babies who feel so cheated, so hurt, so put-upon because... because... wait for it....

They lost... again:

[A]nyone trying to access the Web site of the Republican National Committee is taken on a bit of a detour to a new site -- FireNancyPelosi.com.

(link)

Oh.. my... god... they... have a.... TWEET BOMB.


H/t: Lensman23

VIDEO- Senator Tom Coburn threatens Democrats

By GottaLaff

I'm sorry, what? Coburn's issuing threats? Really?



Please note his little posse chuckling when he throws around threats to Democrats.

Classy stuff, Tom, and a tad extreme.

This comes from utter desperation, knowing the Dems are about to score a big health care win. The GOP is like a scared animal lashing out blindly at anything and anyone who they thing "crosses" them. That's their mentality, assuming they have any mental capacity left at all.

PhotOh! Snorkel envy

By GottaLaff

Snorkel envy?

I read about this, but hadn't seen the actual image.

You know what they: Political parties with small minds have small ....