Tea Partiers Sue over Party Name

By GottaLaff

Let's see if we can follow this: The Party of No unifies around a message of obstruction. But the Tea Baggers are obstructing too, only they're blocking each other. They aren't joining in each other's reindeer games. And within the Tea Bagger gang, there are a couple of different Tea Bagger gangs who sit at different lunch tables and won't share Twinkies with their brethren. But they do have the words "tea" and "party" in common.

And that turns out to be a problem:

On April 14, a U.S. District Court in West Palm Beach, Florida, saw papers filed from more than one faction of the fractious movement each claiming the intellectual property rights to the name "Tea Party."

Intellectual? That must be a typo. There is nothing "intellectual" about Tea Tantrumers.

Let's recap:

The unruly group within a larger unruly group that won't play with the other unruly group but shares a common name wants control of the name that the various unruly groups claim ownership of as opposed to affiliating themselves with the GOP.

Clear?

Short version: They're going to federal court over the name "Tea Party".

That would be the same federal court that is "organized under the Constitution and laws of the federal government of the United States." The very same one that infringes on the Tea Tantrumers' liberties. Yeah, that one.

Will you excuse me for a minute? I need some popcorn and a refreshing beverage with a bendy straw.

And because it just wouldn't be millennial politics, or legal actions for that matter, without a little mud-slinging, each side is calling the other's political loyalties into question.

See how amusing splitting the Republican vote can be?

More here.

H/t: Coopster04

Operation 'Iraqi Freedom' to become 'New Dawn'

Meh. Maybe it'll help with morale, but I see no reason for this.

BAGHDAD, Feb. 19 (UPI) -- The war in Iraq has a new name, "Operation New Dawn," to reflect the reduced role U.S. combat troops are playing, U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates said.

The new name will go into effect in September, when U.S. combat troop levels are supposed to drop to about 50,000, The Washington Post reported Friday.

Since 2003, the war has been known as "Operation Iraqi Freedom."

(snip)

Changing the name at the same time the mission shifts sends "a strong signal that Operation Iraqi Freedom has ended and our forces are operating under a new mission," Gates said.

The decision has drawn some criticism, ABC News reported.

"You cannot end a war simply by changing its name," Brian Wise, executive director of Military Families United, said in a statement. "Despite the administration's efforts to spin realities on the ground, their efforts do not change the situation at hand in Iraq."

Which Fox "Attractive Blonde Lady" does this Barbie doll remind you of?

By GottaLaff

Remember this Saturday Night Live sketch?

Those ClusterFox news models show up all over Fixed Noise, and now you can take one home with you!


Meet Barbie the News Anchor:


But poor Barbie needs a real identity. "Attractive Blonde Lady" Barbie surely must remind you of a particular Faux personality.

So have at it in Comments. Which Foxerette does this doll most resemble?

I don't watch ClusterFox, so I got nothin'.

H/t: Greg2812

Glenn Beck Loses Domain Name Dispute

By GottaLaff

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Lo. Ser:

[...] Beck had filed a complaint with the World Intellectual Property Organization over a satire Web site with the provocative domain name glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com. The name is inspired by a Gilbert Gottfried comedy routine in which he praises fellow comedian Bob Saget, but then begs people to stop accusing Saget of raping and murdering a young girl in 1990. The Web site, developed by Isaac Eiland-Hall, applied the joke to Glenn Beck as a way to critique his rhetorical methods. [...]

"Even a 'moron in a hurry,'" read the decision, quoting Eiland-Hall's attorney, "would not likely conclude that Complainant sponsored, endorsed or was affiliated with the website addressed by the disputed domain name." [...]

After winning the dispute, though, Eiland-Hall published a scathing open letter to Beck [...]

Please go read the letter. Pleaseohplease.

Ooo, ooo! We even get a twist ending:

Perhaps most surprisingly, though, Eiland-Hall stated that he no longer needed the domain name in question, now that he's successfully argued the right to own it. "I have no more use for the actual scrap of digital real estate you sought," he wrote. With that, he offers to turn over the domain to Beck, even supplying the user name and password to access it.

Please go read the whole thing. If this doesn't make Blech cry real tears, nothing will.

No matter what he touches, he's just a big bucket of fail.

H/t: Dbfuturist42

What's in a name: The biblical Barak

By GottaLaff

A letter from my morning L.A. Times:

So much has been made out of Barack Obama's Muslim middle name, "Hussein," but little or nothing has been said about his first name. Biblical Israel's famed Deborah, a charismatic woman respected for her wisdom and prophetic gifts, commanded Barak, the nation's military commander.

The name "Barak" was used by Leon Uris in his book "Exodus," about the beginnings of modern Israel. In the movie, the character of Paul Newman's father, played by Lee J. Cobb, was named Barak. Certainly no one, to my knowledge, has yet claimed that Barack Obama is Jewish.

No, because then, that whole Muslim terrorist thing that so many desperate bigots cling to would be null and void. And we couldn't have that, now, could we?