Hey kids! John McCain paper dolls! Used! For under a penny each!

By GottaLaff

Once a lightweight, always a lightweight. Paper thin:

(click on image to enlarge)

Check out that last line... You can get used J Sid paper dolls for a penny. I hear Diebold has made an offer to make electronically generated ones.

Of course, we already know that he's used goods... and not worth even a red cent.

Which Fox "Attractive Blonde Lady" does this Barbie doll remind you of?

By GottaLaff

Remember this Saturday Night Live sketch?

Those ClusterFox news models show up all over Fixed Noise, and now you can take one home with you!


Meet Barbie the News Anchor:


But poor Barbie needs a real identity. "Attractive Blonde Lady" Barbie surely must remind you of a particular Faux personality.

So have at it in Comments. Which Foxerette does this doll most resemble?

I don't watch ClusterFox, so I got nothin'.

H/t: Greg2812

PhotOh! Obama "dashboard dolls"

By GottaLaff

Waikiki's hottest new item:

Mele Kalikimaka!

H/t: Ed Henry, CNN

Joe "You lie!" Wilson Gets His Own Action Figure

By GottaLaff

I'm not sure what's worse, a talking Joe doll, or an impending Bachmann action figure. Funny, I didn't realize dining room tables could talk:

Thanks to the good people at HeroBuilder.com, if you are looking to part with a cool $39.95 on a needless recession-era purchase, you can now be the proud owner of a mini-fig that ably chronicles that time in American History where a guy yelled at the President during a speech to a joint session of Congress.[...]

You can listen to it here. Then, after fifteen minutes of shouting "You Lie!" the Joe Wilson action figure starts whining like a milquetoast and starts asking your other action figures to fight his battles for him.

What next, a Glenn Blech doll that cries? Teabagger dolls that shout, "Nazi!"? A Boehner doll with optional bronzer?

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/23/joe-wilson-gets-his-own-a_n_295985.html

PhotObama matryoshka

By GottaLaff

Traditional Russian matryoshka dolls depicting U.S. president-elect Barack Obama in St. Petersburg on Sunday.

H/t: Jon Lester

Score one for Michelle Obama: Sasha & Malia dolls have been "retired"

By GottaLaff

Buh-bye, Sasha and Malia dolls. Moral of the story: Don't mess with the First Family:

Hoping to buy a pair of those Sasha and Malia dolls? You’re out of luck. And the White House couldn’t be happier.

White House officials were very, very pleased on Tuesday after learning that the company that makes Beanie Babies had decided to stop selling its Sweet Sasha and Marvelous Malia dolls.[...]

On Tuesday, the company’s Web site included pictures of the two dolls beneath a red sign that read “Retired.”

Tsk tsk. So young for retirement. Do dolls get a pension? After all, they'll need something to pay off their dollhouses.

H/t: Eve

Beanie Babies maker sells Sasha, Malia dolls

Just the first of many to come I'd guess. Hopefully they won't make any Bratz style ones.....

CHICAGO – The company that made Beanie Babies a top toy craze is hoping for another winner with dolls named "Sweet Sasha" and "Marvelous Malia."

Now where have we heard those names before?

Ty Inc. has released the 12-inch plush dolls as part of the company's "TyGirlz Collection," introduced in 2007. The Sasha doll has pigtails and wears a white and pink dress with hearts. The Malia doll has a side ponytail and a long-sleeve shirt with capri pants.

The Oak Brook-based company chose the dolls' names because "they are beautiful names," not because of any resemblance to President Obama's daughters, said spokeswoman Tania Lundeen.

"There's nothing on the dolls that refers to the Obama girls," Lundeen said. "It would not be fair to say they are exact replications of these girls. They are not."

Um, sure.

All dolled up: Joe the Action Figure, Beach Blanket Obama, Sarah Palin Schoolgirl

By GottaLaff

As much as I hate to subject you to this kind of thing, I feel obligated to keep you informed:

(Click on image to enlarge)

Forgive me? No? Well, think of the fun you'll have! Imagine the confrontations between Beach Blanket Obama and Super Hero Sarah over media treatment! If only they'd come up with Self-Pitying Sarah and Joe the War Correspondent.

Please note the equal opportunity dollage: John Edwards in a "Rogue" tee, Biden in a "Joe the V.P." outfit, and Spitzer sporting a spiffy "No. 9" shirt. But what's up with Gramm-pa McCain looking like Joe the Hypocrite's twin?