Palin: I can potentially help our country in 2012

By GottaLaff


Here's the quote from Malice in Wonderland:

"I think that it would be absurd to not consider what it is that I can potentially do to help our country."

-- Sarah Palin, in an interview on Fox News Sunday, on whether she'll consider running for president in 2012.

I'm not sure if she had that written on her palm or not. She's so change-y, it's hard to say what that little dickens will do next.

Here's the counter-argument (h/t: Ursula):

So that's what $100K buys

Maybe I missed something, but if anything that speech was meaner and dumber than her RNC speech, and most importantly, even more shrill and predictable. What an odd mix of platitudes, cliches, and warmed-over goulash from her Facebook posts. (Maybe she recycles? That seems socialist.)

Let's take out our Sarah Palin hymnal and follow along....

1. Lamestream media was mean to my kids (check)

2. Look everybody, I didn't abort my special-needs baby! (check)

3. Obama is a terrorist-loving, law professor apologist who (unlike me) blames everyone else for everything (check)

4. Ha ha Obama uses a teleprompter instead of notes like the ones I'm having trouble reading (check)

5. Let's stop being politically correct except when I feel the need to be politically correct. (check)

6. Fewer taxes, tort reform, get out of the way of business, can't we bomb something, I'm ticked off, the children are our future, soylent green is people....zzzzz (check)

7. Constitution good except when applied to people I think are bad! (check)

8. Hopey-changey is stupid, except for my new improved fragrant brand of hopey-changey, available now for $24.95 and signed by the autopen my PAC bought (check)

9. Did I mention I have 5 houses, my own Fox studio, an enormous bumpit, a ton of money, and I'm just like you? (OK, maybe she didn't say this, but she thought it.)

10. Reagan, God, terrorism, divine intervention, patriotism, Reagan, terrorism, hey, did I mention my kid is a soldier? Oops, gotta skedaddle before someone accidentally asks me for concrete solutions and original ideas! Thanks for the check, Real Americans! (check)

—we'll_decide_thanks

John McCain, then and now, on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

By GottaLaff



Unfortunately, Flipper McNotPrez flipped in the wrong direction:

"The day that the leadership of the military comes to me and says, Senator, we ought to change the policy, then I think we ought to consider seriously changing it because those leaders in the military are the ones we give the responsibility to."

-- Sen. John McCain, in an interview on Hardball in 2006, about the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

"At this moment of immense hardship for our armed services, we should not be seeking to overturn the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy."

-- McCain, quoted by NBC News earlier today, after the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs recommended changing the policy.

Today:

"No matter how I look at the issue, I cannot escape being troubled by the fact that we have in place a policy which forces young men and women to lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens."

-- Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, quoted by the New York Times, on the need to repeal the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law.

So much for responding to the leaders in the military.

By the way, does J Sid get that there are gays in the military now who contribute greatly?

And does he realize how many other countries allow gays in their military and somehow their world hasn't come to an end?

And finally, he of all people should understand that "this moment of immense hardship for our armed services" is exactly the time we need even more skilled service members, not fewer.

I am so unbelievably glad this man is not in the White House.

VIDEO- Judd Gregg's MSNBC Hissy Fit When Asked About Program Cuts

By GottaLaff

Not only is he a crankpot, he's an inaccurate one:




Judd, Judd. Specifics are a problem for you, are they?

On MSNBC this afternoon, deficit peacock Sen. Judd Gregg (R-NH) got into a heated exchange with anchors Contessa Brewer and Melissa Francis, challenging their “integrity” and calling them “irresponsible” and “duplicitous” after they tried to get him to offer specific ways he would cut spending to lower the deficit. [...]

His outrage over the insinuation that he could cut education funding is peculiar, considering that he voted for an amendment in 1996 that “would balance the budget faster by killing the Departments of Housing and Urban Development, Education, Commerce, and Energy.”

When in doubt, blame.

H/t: VNDNBRG

Sarah Palin Poll-itics: Not exactly your go-to gal on climate change

By GottaLaff

Another landslide vote against Barbie McLipSchmutz (click on images to enlarge):

Before:

After:

To take the poll, click here.

H/t: jazgar

Tea Party Candidate Arrested On Drug Charges

By GottaLaff

My stars and garters, it looks like the Tea Party party is off to a rocky start:

Ezell Harris, a Florida conservative who launched his campaign for Orlando City Council at a Tea Party rally, has been arrested on drug trafficking charges.

Jail records show he is being held on four counts: trafficking in hydrocodone, dispensing illegal drugs without a license, unlawful use of a two-way radio, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Yes, this stellar example of this bunch...

...was making money off of Lorcet and Vicodin that he got as prescriptions. This can't end well.

For the definition of hypocrite, simply look under Harris, Ezell:

On his campaign platform, Harris posts this note: "Prescription drugs have replaced cocaine and other illicit substances as the leading cause of drug abuse deaths in Florida, a new study says. Despite this, the state has no prescription drug monitoring program, and the authors of the study say Florida must do more to curb the abuse of legal medication ... The report makes it clear that lax oversight is allowing Florida’s legal drug abuse problem to grow out of control.

I guess Florida oversight was better than he thought.

Glenn Beck Loses Domain Name Dispute

By GottaLaff

Report the following images as offensive. Confirm CancelThank you for the feedback.

Lo. Ser:

[...] Beck had filed a complaint with the World Intellectual Property Organization over a satire Web site with the provocative domain name glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com. The name is inspired by a Gilbert Gottfried comedy routine in which he praises fellow comedian Bob Saget, but then begs people to stop accusing Saget of raping and murdering a young girl in 1990. The Web site, developed by Isaac Eiland-Hall, applied the joke to Glenn Beck as a way to critique his rhetorical methods. [...]

"Even a 'moron in a hurry,'" read the decision, quoting Eiland-Hall's attorney, "would not likely conclude that Complainant sponsored, endorsed or was affiliated with the website addressed by the disputed domain name." [...]

After winning the dispute, though, Eiland-Hall published a scathing open letter to Beck [...]

Please go read the letter. Pleaseohplease.

Ooo, ooo! We even get a twist ending:

Perhaps most surprisingly, though, Eiland-Hall stated that he no longer needed the domain name in question, now that he's successfully argued the right to own it. "I have no more use for the actual scrap of digital real estate you sought," he wrote. With that, he offers to turn over the domain to Beck, even supplying the user name and password to access it.

Please go read the whole thing. If this doesn't make Blech cry real tears, nothing will.

No matter what he touches, he's just a big bucket of fail.

H/t: Dbfuturist42

Mark Sanford Predicted "Public Humiliation" to spiritual advisor

By GottaLaff

Argentina Marko had a "spiritual advisor"? Really? Not a very effective one. And hey, I thought that's what C Street was for:

"Less than a month before he traveled to Argentina to see his mistress, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford (R) predicted in a letter to his spiritual adviser that 'public humiliation' would follow revelations of his shattered marriage," the AP reports.

The letter was obtained by the Associated Press through a public records request. The governor drafted the letter on his state computer on May 20.

Wrote Sanford: "I simply beg for the chance to figure it ought (sic) privately, please beg her for just the first month after the kids get out of school and if I cant get this done then there will be plenty of time for public humiliation and showing the world I am the guy in the wrong."

Wrongy McWrongerson strikes again.

Maybe he should just stop writing letters.

Even the Tea Partiers have rejected Michael Steele

By GottaLaff

You know you're a Loser with a capital L when even the Tea Party crowd gives you a thumbs down:

[...] Michael Steele, has been dissed by the crew behind the Chicago Tea Party. Eric Odom, the event’s organizer, has posted the email he wrote to the Republican National Chairman’s staff after Steele asked to be a speaker.

I very much appreciate the fact that Chairman Steele is now finally starting to reach out to the true grassroots side of the free-market movement in America. Unfortunately, it appears that he has only just decided to reach out after realizing how big the movement has gotten and how much media is now involved.

That said, we’re still excited to know that Chairman Steele will be in Chicago and we hope, after knowing that he’ll be in the city, that he’ll stop by and mingle with the Americans who will be rallying on April 15th. This will also present a fantastic time for Chairman Steele to LISTEN to what we have to say and perhaps gather some thoughts on what the RNC needs to be doing moving forward.

With regards to stage time, we respectfully must inform Chairman Steele that RNC officials are welcome to participate in the rally itself, but we prefer to limit stage time to those who are not elected officials, both in Government as well as political parties. This is an opportunity for Americans to speak, and elected officials to listen, not the other way around.

Eeyore, you may have met your match.

Norm Coleman's Chances Not So Good at Supreme Court

By GottaLaff

Remember "One is the Loneliest Number"? Apparently "59 is the Scariest Number":

With Al Franken (D) increasing his lead over Norm Coleman (R) yesterday, Bloomberg skips ahead to evaluate Coleman's odds if he appeals all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.

"Coleman's dwindling chances of reclaiming his U.S. Senate seat largely depend on a broad reading of the Supreme Court's Bush v. Gore decision, a ruling the court itself said should be applied sparingly... Indeed, the high court has yet to cite Bush v. Gore in the 600-plus rulings it has released since then, and lower courts generally have proven reluctant to use the ruling as grounds for invalidating state voting procedures."

And yes, the Minneapolis Star Tribune reports Coleman will appeal the final vote tally.

Stop. Just stop. Losers have to know when to stop. So.... stop.

AUDIO-- Michele Bachmann: "Democrats are about to instutionalize cartels". Oh, and President Obama's a power-hungry socialist

By GottaLaff



Here's some delightful audio to add to the splendid text I provided earlier.

Michele Bachmann: De fatso president Boss Limbaugh's Secretary of Stupid.

McConnell warns of grim GOP future

By GottaLaff

I love it when words like "slipping," "marginalized," and "grave danger" are used to describe the Republican party:

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell painted a downright dismal view of the state of his party Thursday afternoon, telling Republican National Committee members the GOP is in grave danger of being marginalized to a regional party.

"We’re all concerned about the fact that the very wealthy and the very poor, the most and least educated, and a majority of minority voters, seem to have more or less stopped paying attention to us," the Kansas Republican said on the second day of the four-day gathering.

Can't imagine why.

"And we should be concerned that, as a result of all this, the Republican Party seems to be slipping into a position of being more of a regional party than a national one.

"In politics there's a name for a regional party, it's called a minority party," said McConnell.

Oh, now, McChinless, don't be shy... there are other names: Failure party, bigoted party, fiscally irresponsible party, loser party, exclusionary party, warmonger party... feel free to stop me whenever you have something to add.

"My concern is that unless we do something to adapt, our status as a minority party may become too pronounced for an easy recovery," McConnell also said.

Why, that would be catastrophic! We Dems may have to go to extremes and... pop open two bottles of champagne per person.

McConnell also laid some blame at the feet of former President Bush, whom he described a "man of principle," but one who did "not win any popularity contests."

"History shows that unpopular presidents are usually a drag on everybody else who wears their political label," he said.

What lessons can McChinless and his sinking ship learn from this? Think real hard. Here's an idea: Have the stones to point out what failure of a president [sic] your guy was while he's still in office.

"Too often we’ve let others define us," McConnell said. "And the image they’ve painted isn’t very pretty. Ask most people what Republicans think about immigrants, and they’ll say we fear them. Ask most people what we think about the environment, and they’ll say we don’t care about it. Ask most people what we think about the family, and they’ll tell you we don’t — until about a month before Election Day."

Bingo. Except the part he left out about fearmongering, racism, smearing, and deception. Other than that, he nailed it.

"…We should avoid the false choice of being a party of moderates or conservatives," he said. "America is diverse. The two major parties should be too. But this doesn’t mean turning our backs on commonsense conservatism, or tailoring our positions to suit particular groups. Our principles are universal. They apply to everyone."

In related news:

Saltsman out of the running for RNC chair

You remember him, don't you?

Unreliable sources: Howard Kurtz blurts

By GottaLaff

Via Froomkin:

Washington Post media columnist Howard Kurtz asks this morning, apparently quite seriously:

"It is well past time to ask the question: What has Barack Obama really accomplished as president, anyway? . . . How long are we supposed to wait for the change we've been waiting for?"

What has President Obama accomplished? Is this fool serious?

Here's a question for you, Howie: How long are we supposed to wait for you to get canned?