Quickie: Aww, Oil Companies Being Harmed edition

By GottaLaff

Today's Quickie:

From the Department of Feigned Shock:

ConocoPhillips announced Tuesday that it is abandoning the U.S. Climate Action Partnership, a major coalition of corporations and environmental groups that’s pushing Congress to approve cap-and-trade legislation.

ConocoPhillips, the country’s third-largest oil company, said that the major House and Senate climate change bills would harm oil companies.

Here's the feigned shock: What?! Oh no!

Poor Big Oil. They're being harmed. We aren't, of course. Just them.

That was today's Quickie. I hope you'll still respect me in the morning.

Gov. Mark Sanford faces 37 charges he broke state ethics laws

By GottaLaff

Argentina Mark is in more agua caliente:

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford faces ethics charges he broke state laws more than three dozen times by violating rules on airplane travel and campaign money, according to details of the allegations released Monday.

It's up to the state attorney general to decide whether to file criminal charges.

I wonder if he's seeking comfort and consolation from his "soul mate". Nah, that would be a bad move... nearly as bad as abandoning an entire state.

The State of Columbia newspaper also questioned whether Sanford properly reimbursed himself from his campaign cash. [...]

Four GOP lawmakers already have filed a resolution that would force Sanford from office because of "dereliction of duty," and the travel allegations play no part in that move. Their measure deals solely with Sanford's absence from the state, when he led his staff to believe he was hiking the Appalachian Trail while he was in Argentina.

And this guy continues to make decisions on behalf of his state.

Sanford impeachment measure to be formally considered

By GottaLaff

Will they dress in top hats and tails?

A special House committee in South Carolina will formally consider an impeachment resolution against Gov. Mark Sanford for the first time next Tuesday, the Republican chairman of the committee told CNN Friday. [...]

The measure currently states that Sanford committed "serious misconduct" by secretly leaving the state in June without informing his staff or establishing a chain of command.

Harrison said "the game plan" is for the four Republicans and three Democrats in the group to finalize the language in the resolution before passing it on to the full Judiciary committee, which will then vote in January on whether the measure should be sent to the full House.

This is what happens when you abandon your state.

Don't cry for me Argentina....

UPDATE: More here. (H/t: Ady)

Joe the Plumber leaving the GOP; he's "outraged"

By GottaLaff

Just now on the Thom Hartmann Show, Christy Harvey announced that Not Joe the Not Plumber is leaving the Rushpublic party. Here we go, I found the source of her remarks:

Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, tells TIME he's so outraged by GOP overspending, he's quitting the party — and he's the bull's-eye of its target audience.

My stars, who next? Arlen Spec-- oh. Um. Anyway, that's some proclamation by Monsieur le Not Joe.

Current membership of the Rushpublic party: 12 11.

Hang on, wait a sec. What's that I'm hearing through my non-existent earpiece? There's a "but"?

But he also said he wouldn't support any cuts in defense, Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid — which, along with debt payments, would put more than two-thirds of the budget off limits.

Psyche! Not Joe made a Not Proclamation! What a Not Surprise.

Sarah Palin skips town at crucial time

By GottaLaff

Get out your Where's Sarah? buttons. She's at it again:

With just one week left before the Alaska Legislature adjourns for the year, the conflict between Gov. Sarah Palin and lawmakers over taking federal economic stimulus money is the dominant issue left. [...]

There's still a chance that bills will pass increasing the state minimum wage, requiring parental notification when a teenager gets an abortion, expanding Alaska children's health insurance for lower-income families and stopping the state, including the Permanent Fund, from investing in companies doing business in Sudan, the African country whose government has been blamed for genocidal killing in the Darfur region.

Legislators will also vote Thursday on approving the governor's appointees, including attorney general Wayne Anthony Ross, who has proven controversial but is still likely to be confirmed. [Laffy Note: My posts here and here explain why I'm about to stick a sharp object in my eye]

Palin herself will be leaving Alaska this week to attend the Vanderburgh County Right to Life dinner in Evansville, Ind. on Thursday, as well as an event for special-needs children. Fairbanks Republican Rep. Jay Ramras questioned her leaving town right at the end of the session, when critical decisions are being made.

"There are some concerns (in the Capitol) about the focus of our chief executive because she's taken a speaking engagement in Indiana for a 36-hour period with only 72 hours left in the legislative session," Ramras said.

Palin, who has barely left Alaska during the legislative session, is clearly irritated.

"I'll be gone for one day. I already have been on record with lawmakers on this. I told lawmakers, you know what, 'Please, don't make me feel that I have to ask you permission, lawmakers, to leave the capital city,' " Palin said.

There's an old show biz phrase, Shooty McMouthOff: Timing is everything.

VIDEO: Maryland Water Main Break Highlights Need For Infrastructure Spending In Federal Stimulus

By GottaLaff

Obama's challenges as the new president remind me of how I'd feel if I invested every bit of myself emotionally, intellectually, and financially in an enormously, hugely, gigantic new fixer-upper mansion, and during escrow, discovered that its roof just collapsed:

This [water main] incident underscores the vital need for including infrastructure funding in the upcoming economic stimulus bill. Maryland, like so many other states, is facing a budget crunch to deal with its much-needed repairs. Gov. Martin O’Malley has been urging President-elect Obama to make an early investment in infrastructure. “Not only would an infusion of funds help keep people employed and create new jobs,” O’Malley said, “it would allow us to deliver infrastructure improvements that will last beyond the immediate economic crisis and benefit generations to come.”

In an interview with Washington DC’s CBS affiliate WUSA9, Montgomery Country council member Roger Berliner stressed the point, saying the state is suffering an “epidemic” of infrastructure breakdowns. “We simply don’t have the money to take care of it,” he said. “We need help from the federal government.”

While President Bush has stubbornly refused to address the need for immediate infrastructure investments, President-elect Obama has expressed his strong desire to make it a priority.

The previous owner of my imaginary fixer-upper could have made at least some of the necessary repairs, but instead, abandoned it for a Texas ranch with an abundance of excess dry brush, and left my family and me to fend for ourselves.