MSNBC: Preen forward #OhButIKid

 

Oh, but I kid MSNBC. I watch it every single day, and despite it being the only major cable news outlet I can tolerate (or appreciate), there are a few observations that I can no longer keep to myself. Gotta vent. Here's my (satirical) take on MSNBC daytime:

MSNBC Host 1: So welcome to my very own show. So, today's guests are Goldie Taylor, Howard Fineman, David Corn, Joan Walsh, Michael Steele, Jonathan Alter, Michael Eric Dyson, Nicolle Wallace, Mark Halperin, Michael Isikoff, Jonathan Capehart, Kasie Hunt, Eugene Robinson, Ezra Klein, Dave Weigel, Steve Schmidt, and all my fellow MSNBC hosts who are all here to talk about their very own shows! Every single one of them. So have I told you guys what a great job you do? GOD you're good. You all excel at your jobs! To call you stellar doesn't do you justice! I'm so proud to call you "colleagues."

Chuck Todd, Steve Kornacki, Alex Wagner, Chris Hayes, Joy Reid, Ronan Farrow, Krystal Ball, Karen Finney, Melissa Harris-Perry, Ari Melber: So, thank you, my friend! So, congratulations to us! So, group hug to Camera Three!

MSNBC Host 2: So when we return, we'll explore why every MSNBC commentator begins each thought with, "So..." We'll be back in 15 minutes after these messages from Cialis, Cymbalta, Lipitor, Abilify, Celebrex, Humira, Nasonex, and Lyrica.

Chuck Todd, Steve Kornacki, Alex Wagner, Chris Hayes, Joy Reid, Ronan Farrow, Krystal Ball, Karen Finney, Melissa Harris-Perry, Ari Melber: So you forgot AT&T, BP, Exxon, Citibank, catheters, vaginal dryness meds, and Christian Mingle!

One hour later...

MSNBC Host 2: So here to help us make some sense of our top story is the host of [insert any MSNBC daytime show here]. Thanks for being here, Other Host.

Other MSNBC Host: So I'm honored, my friend. You are awesome.

MSNBC Host 2: So no, YOU are, my friend.

Other MSNBC Host: No, YOU! So.

Luke Russert: Um, hello? So did somebody forget to intro Tim Russert's trying-to-fill-his-father's-big-shoes son over here on the monitor? So I've got an exclusive I'm dying to break right here on your very own show, MSNBC Host 2!

MSNBC Host 2: So we could never forget YOU, Luke, my friend, my brother. What's your scoop? You always have the BEST scoops! GOD you're good.

Luke: So, so are you. You are a FABULOUS host, as are you, Other MSNBC Host. You two are superb at everything you do. Nobody does it better. So I'm in tears. Seriously. So how cool is it that we're all such good friends? So who knew being this incestuous could pay so well?

MSNBC Host 2: So tell us your scoop, Amazingly Adept Luke, my brother, my friend, MSNBC's own Sage of Washington DC, Our Capitol Hill Crusader! So don't you just love these obvious displays of public camaraderie? It's like our own private little club! So whatcha got, my friend?

Luke: Well crap. I forgot.

MSNBC Host 2: So we'll be back right after these words from Cialis, Cymbalta, Lipitor, Abilify, Celebrex, Axiron, Humira, Nasonex, Lyrica,  AT&T, BP, Exxon, Citibank, catheters, vaginal dryness meds, Febreze, Aleve, Verizon, Samsung, Cliffside Malibu Rehab Center, Christian Mingle, GE, financial groups you've never heard of, and endless promos of other MSNBC programming and the new MSNBC website!

One hour later...

MSNBC Host 3: So now for more repetitive analysis, welcome back to the hosts of all of our other fantastic shows. You all do such great work. Nobody does it better than you, my friends. GREAT reporting! You all look GREAT! Our audiences should be tuning into each of your shows every single day and night, no matter what effect that much exposure to redundant political infotainment has on their personal relationships!

Chuck Todd, Steve Kornacki, Alex Wagner, Chris Hayes, Joy Reid, Ronan Farrow, Krystal Ball, Karen Finney, Melissa Harris-Perry, Ari Melber: So Rachel has a very special Special coming up! Let's plug it! Over and over and over again!

MSNBC Host 3: I was just about to. But first, may I just say, you guys really set a high bar for journalistic standards. GREAT reporting, guys! But now it's time for the Tweet of the Day from Chris Matthews, MSNBC's very own god. But first: So when is Ezra Klein getting his own show already? He may put us to sleep in seconds, but he does such incredibly GREAT work! GREAT reporting! What a find! Am I right, my friends? Hey Farrow, stop giggling. So I'll get your responses to this and more on the other side of the commercial break. We have a new sponsor: ZzzKlein, er, Quil.

Fade out.

(Laffy Note: I didn't forget to include Lawrence O'Donnell, Chris Matthews, Ed Schultz, or Rachel Maddow in the Long Host List. While they do pop in on election nights or to promote a special or a book occasionally, they rarely guest on other shows as commentators/panel members.)

Video- MSNBC WHCD Afterparty

I could have done with alot less K.C. (OMGWTF happened to him?) and more MSNBCrs. They were probably all too drunk from Rach's drinks. And how cool is that?

Year to year MSNBC sees smallest decreases of any network in total viewers

Interesting. My guess would be that MSNBC has more loyal viewers.

MSNBC saw the smallest decreases of any network in total viewers. Year-to-year, MSNBC is down -6% in total viewers for both total day and primetime.

MSNBC was #3 in total day/demo viewers behind FNC and HLN. The channel was also #3 in total day/total viewers behind FNC and CNN. MSNBC topped CNN each hour between 6pm-12amET.

"Morning Joe" was the second most watched morning program in total viewers, but struggled in the demo averaging 115K, the fewest of the four.

(snip)

"The Ed Show" was one of the few cable news programs to grow in both total viewers (+25%) and demo viewers (+4%) year-to-year and was the number two program in its time slot. Also, the 5pmET "Hardball" topped "The Situation Room" for the first time in total viewers.

Both "Countdown" and "The Rachel Maddow Show" were down in the demo year-to-year, but Maddow's program did grow slightly (+2%) in total viewers. For the first time since 2000, MSNBC, which airs a replay of "Countdown," topped CNN at 10pmET in total viewers. MSNBC was also #2 in total viewers at 11pmET, which hasn't happened since Maddow's show premiered in 2008.

Though Olbermann's program saw year-to-year decreases (-13% total viewers/-30% demo), 8pmET "Countdown" moved back into the cable news top 10, finishing 10th among cable news programs in total viewers. "Maddow" was #11.

MSNBC pulls Donny Deutsch

By GottaLaff

This makes me miss David Shuster even more.

Brian Stelter, who seems to have gotten some bad information (see below):

A week-long anchoring stint on MSNBC by Donny Deutsch ended abruptly on Wednesday, and four people briefed on the decision said the cancellation stemmed from an unflattering mention of that channel’s No. 1 anchor, Keith Olbermann, a day earlier.

Mr. Deutsch had labeled his hour on MSNBC “America the Angry,” and Mr. Olbermann was shown briefly in a series of clips of media bloviators during a segment that pondered what role the media plays in fomenting the public’s anger. The four people briefed on MSNBC’s decision said Mr. Olbermann’s anger about the segment prompted the cancellation of the weeklong “America the Angry” series.

But Keith had a thing or two to add:

In an e-mail message, Mr. Olbermann said “Your account is entirely untrue. Your e-mail is the first I am hearing of any of this. What I know of what happened is this: Phil Griffin phoned me yesterday enraged at what was on that show and I didn’t disagree with him.”

The segment in question also included clips of Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and Glenn Beck. One of the guests, the radio host Hugh Hewitt, said that Mr. Olbermann and another MSNBC host, Ed Schultz, are “the biggest hate-mongers in television.”

I saw that segment. I turned the sound off.

Keith tweeted the above e-mail message, and this:


I can't say I'm unhappy about his leaving. His executive producer is out, too, by the way.

Here's hopes they find someone we can get behind.

MSNBC President Griffin: David Shuster Suspension “All About Loyalty”

By GottaLaff

By now you've all noticed that David Shuster is still missing from MSNBC. Insert sad face here.

There were reports that he shot a pilot for CNN while still under contract to MSNBC, which is a no-no, of course. But questions still linger, and Mediaite provides a few answers:

“I said all along that this was about loyalty and looking out for this network and not our competition,” [MSNBC President Phil Griffin] told Mediaite, who said in an email Thursday afternoon (obtained by Mediaite today), “We don’t pay David to help CNN figure out how to beat us.”

“Really, what upset me about this whole thing was how unfair it was to people who were loyal to the company,” he said. “That’s at the heart of this thing, that’s what makes it so difficult to get beyond.”

Yes, it was unfair and probably hurtful, too. It's show/news business, and professionalism is mandatory. David threw a wrench into things, if all the reporting is accurate, and it needed to be addressed. But... I'd still like to hear his side.

So will David be back?

... Griffin said, “Dave and I have to work that out.”

Let's hope they do... amicably.

I'd like to give Griffin kudos for engaging viewers. I have e-mailed him, and he responded immediately. Others I know have done that, too, with the same result. That's highly unusual for a person in his position, so again, kudos.

That said, I sure miss David.

H/t: MADNews101

VIDEO- Hardball: Pat Buchanan defends "the truth of history" of slavery

By GottaLaff

Pat Buchanan on the Civil War:

"Both sides were right."

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Happy Confederate History Month, Pat! Let's celeberate!

As I said in my previous post, MSNBC continues to hire a racist who defends slavery, glorifies the Civil War south, and uses code words like "states' rights"... but David Shuster is kept off the air.

David Shuster may not be back on air for remainder of contract

By GottaLaff

I was just witness to Pat Buchanan defending slavery on MSNBC (I'll post the video when it becomes available). Yes, resident Old White Racist Punditiot Guy still has regular work as contributor while David Shuster gets the cold shoulder for shooting a CNN pilot before his contract with MSNBC was up in December.

I guess contractual issues trump despicable ratings-inducers:

Now that David Shuster has been suspended indefinitely by MSNBC, it looks like he may not be back on the air for the remainder of his contract – up at the end of this year.

The pilot that led to his MSNBC demise was just the latest in a series of run-ins with management.

According to Mediaite, Shuster also got into a scrape or two over at ClusterFox when he erased one of Rita Cosby's scripts about the disbarring of President Clinton.

Whether David is guilty of these things or not (which I do not condone), we do know one thing: Buchanan's disdain for anyone who doesn't look like him is egregious enough to pull him off the air permanently. Where is the logic?

And where is the logic in CNN's exposing their viewers to RedState's Erick Erickson?

I mean other than jacking up ratings at any cost. I mean other than money. I mean other than selling out.

Never mind.

David Shuster Suspended Indefinitely

Ayup, it's fer real. Via Media Bistro.

Just In: MSNBC's David Shuster has been suspended from MSNBC "indefinitely" according to a spokesperson.

The action was taken this morning by MSNBC president Phil Griffin after it was revealed that Shuster had taken part in a pilot for CNN.

Shuster's MSNBC contract expires in December. Over the weekend, an MSNBC executive told TVNewser's Gail Shister, anything less than a suspension "sends a message from management that this is OK."

MSNBC Could Keep David Shuster Off the Air Indefinitely

Ugh, I'm not awake enough to think this thru, but thought you guys should know. A lot of people over in the comments at Media Bistro seem to think this leaves an in for Lawrence O'Donnell. Don't really like sacrificing one good one for another, but hey, there's still no caffeine in my veins yet.

MSNBC bad boy David Shuster may be on his third strike.

Shuster won't be on the air today for his 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. shows, according to MSNBC insiders. Whether he returns before his contract expires in December is up for debate.

Shuster's last appearance was at 10 a.m. Friday. MSNBC boss Phil Griffin pulled him from his 3 p.m. gig after learning, via The New York Observer, that the anchor had recently shot a pilot for CNN without having informed his bosses.

Griffin, vacationing in Florida, ripped Shuster a new one over the phone, network sources say. A repeat performance is expected today in the office.

David Shuster To Be “Punished” By MSNBC If He Filmed CNN Pilot

By GottaLaff

This will answer the questions I've been getting on Twitter. Yes, he's M.I.A., and yes, the two issues were connected. This is in reference to my earlier post about David Shuster's filming a pilot for CNN.

MSNBC didn't approve. He's grounded:

David Shuster isn’t anchoring his 3pmET hour – which is significant, because he was there for his 10amET hour.

It appears Shuster may be in the MSNBC doghouse again after reports he shot a CNN pilot recently, which apparently happened without his MSNBC bosses knowing.

There are a few more details at the link.

David keeps getting in hot water over there. He's had his Twitter account yanked (it's still up, last I looked, but he's not allowed to use it), and he's had a couple of other run-ins with the powers that be at MSNBC.

He's too good to lose. Someone will snatch him up, and it's too bad MSNBC hasn't (apparently) treated him with the respect he deserves, despite the, er, scrapes he gets into. From what I've seen, he's done nothing egregious, he's one of their best, and they should be rewarding him for his good work.

UPDATE: His website, which was up two hours ago, has been removed.

You can contact MSNBC here.

H/t: MADNews101

CNN Fails to Stop Fall in Ratings

By GottaLaff

Let's see now... CNN gets desperate and hires Erick Erickson. If you don't know who that is, here is a reminder from a previous post:

That was then.

This is now:

Health Care Suicide Bombers — Open Thread

Posted by Erick Erickson (Profile)

Saturday, March 13th at 7:34PM EST

33 Comments

Precisely.

Some things never change.

Yes, that's who CNN hired to prop up their sagging ratings.

They might want to rethink their strategy:

CNN continued what has become a precipitous decline in ratings for its prime-time programs in the first quarter of 2010, with its main hosts losing almost half their viewers in a year. [...]

[Larry] King, whose show has been regularly eclipsed by Rachel Maddow’s on MSNBC (and is almost quadrupled by Sean Hannity’s show on Fox), is now threatened by a new host, Joy Behar on HLN (formerly Headline News.)

If by inviting RedState to the family, they're trying to compete with Fox, that won't end well either:

At the same time, Fox News, which had its biggest year in 2009, continues to add viewers. Greta Van Susteren’s show was up 25 percent from a year earlier. Bill O’Reilly, whose show commands the biggest audience in prime time with 3.65 million viewers, was up 28 percent, and Glenn Beck was up 50 percent from a year earlier.

Maybe if hotels, restaurants, etc. would carry MSNBC, we might see some real competition.

Sorry state of affairs all around.

MSNBC Expanding Live Coverage To "Report" On McCain/Palin Rally?

Jeebus christo on a candy cane pogo stick, what the frack are they thinking? What the hell will there be to report on? Everyone hates Grampa and loves Shooty McWilderness? Maybe Cindy will finally lose it and scratch Sar's eyes out(while loudly critiquing her taste in clothes)? Shoot me now.

Video- Karl Rove interview on MSNBC

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I have to apologize now to that John Karl guy that refereed on This Week this past Sunday with Karl and Plouffe. I don't think even the best interviewer could get Karl to shut up- it's just one long soliloquy.

Perpetuating lies must stop or real democracy ceases to exist

By GottaLaff

I'm watching MSNBC as I type this. Forgive the stream-of-consciousness, but sometimes it's easier to communicate that way:

The GOP is reacting to the health care bill bill signing. What an accomplishment that was, and how proud we should be. The Democrats faced so many obstacles that attaining their goal was in real doubt.

But as Vice President Biden said to the president at the signing, "this is a big f'ing deal."

But back to the Rushpublic reaction on the Tee Vee Machine:

Jon Cornyn reiterated the GOP meme that the Democrats were determined "to shove this down the throat of American people". Those would be the very same American people who voted in a guy named Barack Hussein Obama by a landslide, and gave the Democrats the majorities in Congress, because they wanted this bill, or one very much like it. Yeah, Cornyn, those people.

He then cited a CNN poll, perpetuating even more lies. Here is the poll he cited, along with the factual breakdown. Ed Schultz gets kudos for immediately correcting the record, which was refreshing and admirable.

But you know who didn't do that? Chris Matthews.

Earlier today, one of his guests (I was in the other room, so I can't identify her) cited the same poll, repeated the same misleading information, and Matthews said nothing. No. Thing.

I started screaming obscenities. If the media refuse to report news accurately, we get a dumbed-down electorate, and real democracy ceases to exist. Think about that.

And this is exactly what the GOP wants: A dumbed-down electorate. That way, more and more voters believe what they're told by the careless, lazy, bought-and-paid-for corporate media, and more and more elections reflect a badly uninformed and misinformed population.

There you have it: one more thing to fight tooth and nail. We need to educate America, starting right now... Or else, this happens.

I hope this post is a start.

Rep Eloit Engel just announced on David Shuster's show he is a yes vote

He was an undecided before, now in the yes column. Yeah Eliot! Here's the latest whip count.

Video- John Ziegler, Joe Scarborough on Palin's Tonight Show appearance

Even when he's with friendlies, he's a huge ass.

BREAKING: Senate stand-off with Senator Bunning is over

By GottaLaff

MSNBC (The Ed Show) is reporting that the stand off is over. Bunning agreed to allow a vote on one amendment that would pay for the $10 billion cost of the package, he won't object. He'll have a chance to have 2 amendments on the larger package.

Roll Call has more:

In the end Bunning agreed to a deal allowing him one vote on an amendment to pay for the bill’s $10 billion cost. That proposal was offered by Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) last Thursday at the start of his filibuster, but Bunning rejected it because he feared his amendment would not pass.

Reid has also agreed to give Bunning two votes on amendments to a larger, one-year extension bill that is currently under consideration in the Senate.

Bunning has put a hold on all of President Obama's nominees. Senate Democrats were threatening to hold an all night session, "forcing Bunning into an actual filibuster by repeatedly offering up unanimous consent agreements to bring the bill to a vote."

Video- Chris Wallace: 'Joe Scarborough Lives Out Where the Trolleys Don't Run At Night'

Hell, Joe ran out of colleagues on MSNBC to feud with so now he has to go off channel**. But Rachel got him first and best. Too funny.

**Holy crap, Dylan Ratigan is now going after Beck. They're going to stop reporting the news soon and just ding each other all day.

VIDEO- Chuck Todd, Savannah Guthrie pile on Robert Gibbs re: terrorism

By GottaLaff

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I see Savannah and Chuck got hold of a few GOP talking points. As Gibbs said, Savannah "greatly oversimplifies the process."

And she did, again and again.

How many times does this administration have to repeat the same information? The Underpants Bomber case was handled well and the outcome to date has been successful. He's spilled his guts and no torture was necessary.

Add to that the fact that our court system works well, and no terrorists have broken out of prison, nor has any city had problems when their U.S. federal courts were used to try them.

This looked like Chuck and Savannah piling on to create a stir with the intention to perpetuate a "controversy" and gin up their ratings.

Video- Kit Bond regurgitates Cheney talking points on mirandizing

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Savannah and Chuck tried, but from what I heard they couldn't get him to make sense. Oh and Bond calls for Brennan to resign. As if.