Inevitable: Levi Johnston Writing Book on Palin

By GottaLaff

Levi Johnston has a story to tell. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that. The question is, what will he say, will what he says be credible, and when will he say it?

According to Levi, he will tell the "true story of the Palin household."

A brief excerpt from Mike Allen: "Sarah Palin is a singular national industry... This January, she signed a three-year contributor deal with Fox News worth $1 million a year, according to people familiar with the deal... Nowadays, for both poles of the political spectrum but especially for the right, politics is a business -- the entertainment business... It was Fox's Roger Ailes who had the insight that the American right was an underserved market, one with a powerful kind of brand loyalty."

Now Levi hopes to profit off of McLipSchmutz Inc.

Levi:

“When she lost, I knew exactly what she was gonna do,” he says. “The whole time she was getting big-money offers for book and TV shows. I was like, All right, she’s gonna pick that up. It was just a matter of time before she quit."

As for politics being a business, the unfortunate extension of that is that news has become infotainment. Punditiocy has replaced solid reporting, commercialism has replaced, well, just about everything... which is so Foxed up.

(via)

VIDEO- Levi Johnston: Sarah Palin tried to have me arrested

By GottaLaff

And now it's time for the next episode of...

As the Palin Spurns:

That's what Johnston told The Insider on Friday, where he appeared to give his response to Palin and Bristol's appearance on Oprah. He didn't say what the alleged charges were, but if we had to guess, we'd go with crimes of fashion...

Join us again as Barbie McLipSchmutz reveals that it was Levi who actually carried her baby Trig Paxson Van Palin... so that she could fit into her hip waders when a photo op arose... However...dun-dun-dunnn... as it turns out Levi's baby bump was nothing more than one of his hockey sticks gone wrong.

She had to carry her own baby! To term! But was it her own baby? And whose term was it... really?

Will Barbie take him to court? Will there be sue-age in Alaska? Or was that just Exxon doing its thing again?

And will First Dude let it slip that the real father was none other than.... John Edwards? Is Trig..... half philandering Democrat?!

Stay tuned for the answers to these questions and more on the next... As the Palin Spurns.

Palin/Johnston custody judge gets death threats

By GottaLaff

Gryphen has the whole story. Here is a taste, via his source:

[I]t turns out that Judge K has received death threats and is now escorted by police/troopers. Nice supporters Palins!!!!!!

During the 2008 election, Sarah Palin incited hate speech and tacitly encouraged out and out hostility, even violence, toward then-Senator Obama. Her admirers continue to spew vile Tea Bagger profanities without blinking.

And now this.

Some role model.

UPDATE: Celtic Diva makes my point... again.

Palins lose bid to avoid "media circus" in custody case

Really, we should all thank our lucky stars for this f'd up family. Never a dull moment.

ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Sarah Palin's oldest daughter appears to have lost her bid to keep a bitter legal dispute with her 1-year-old son's father confidential.

An Alaska judge last week denied Bristol Palin's request to keep the legal proceedings of her custody dispute with Levi Johnston closed.

Palin, 18, filed a petition in early November seeking sole custody of her son, Tripp, and child support payments. She had argued that the scrutiny the case could attract would turn it into a "media circus" that potentially could cause her son embarrassment as he grows older.

(snip)

Levi Johnston, who is seeking joint custody, has pushed for open court proceedings, saying he "just wants a simple case on the merits."

"I do not feel protected against Sarah Palin in a closed proceeding," Johnston said in an affidavit. "I hope that if it is open she will stay out of it. Bristol's attorney is her attorney."

VIDEO- Levi Johnston: "I've never even seen a gay guy in Wasilla"

By GottaLaff

From the Joy Behar interview:



To answer your question, no actually, I don't know why I decided to post this. Maybe because of the cartoon question mark that popped up over my head as I watched it.

Sarah Palin's $25.6 million week

By GottaLaff

Via an e-mail from a pal of mine who knows a thing or two as well as a a person or two who knows about a Palin or two:

A HarperCollins insider told Duff McDonald at The Daily Beast that Sarah Palin's "Going Rogue" sold a staggering 300,000 copies on the first day alone, which was Tuesday. [...]

The book - $12 mil
The media - $4.5 mil
Newsweek - $250,000 in magazine revenues
Speaking/Signing fees - $300,000
Radio show in 2010? - $7.5 mil
Brand value - $1 mil

Bottom line: "What’s a week of Sarah Palin worth? A cool $25.6 million, a helluva lot more than a certain someone got for taking off his clothes for Playgirl."

I didn't realize that Barbie McLipSchmutz and Playgirl McHockeyStick were competing financially. The income of a 45-year-old celebrity blogger/former mayor/former beauty pageanter/former vice presidential candidate had better top that of a buff (literally) teenager or her reputation is even more abysmal than I thought.

And finally Barbie can pay off those pesky attorney bills. Now that's what I call success.

Playgirl Watch: Levi Johnston's future

By GottaLaff

Before:

After:

Before and after what, I have no idea. You might have fun with figuring that out in Comments.

H/t: My sweet friend Basadd

Playgirl Watch: Hey voyeurs, first peek at Levi Johnston

By GottaLaff

Feast your eyes... on his tiles:

What a tease.

H/t: Ellen

Playgirl Watch: Levi Keeps His Johnston to Himself

By GottaLaff

Turns out the hockey stick was just a ... hockey stick:

Gawker reported today that Playgirl spokesman Daniel Nardicio released a statement today denying full-frontal Levi.

"[Johnston] did not give 'full-frontal' as his manager Tank Jones reported he would. We're thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them. Although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity," says Nardicio.

So is this whatcha now call quasi-porn, Sarah? Semi-porn? Demi-porn? Pornette? Pornless? Pornucopia sans the "pia"?

Money line:

Bet Sarah Palin is annoyed. Now he's no worse than she is, earning big money for showing off airbrushed secrets without really revealing anything.

I won't even try to top that. Gold.

Laffy on the radio: Palin, Ft. Hood,Obama threats, priest beating

By GottaLaff



I was on the Radio Machine with the absolutely wonderful Angie Coiro (on San Francisco's progressive station Green 960) the other night, discussing a few of my posts.

If you missed the Big News, I now have a regular radio spot with her every Friday night at 6:45 Pacific!

As Angie's special correspondent and demented sidekick Buttercup, I bring her one silly story and one serious one every week, or whatever else happens to pop up in the week's news.

Levi Johnston: "She knows what I got on her"

By GottaLaff

So when will he finally spill it?

"She's being smart. She knows what I got on her. It's a smart move on her part."

-- Levi Johnston, quoted by the New York Daily News, when a reporter told him last night that Sarah Palin didn't blast him in the interview she taped with Oprah Winfrey.

Video- Levi Johnston Gets Award for Porn

I'm dying here.

Levi Johnston to fight Palin for custody of son

By GottaLaff

Via Taegan, this can't end well, although it should provide us with some entertaining posts:

Levi Johnston told The Insider he is now going to take legal action to get joint custody of his son because he had trouble when trying to see him over the weekend.

Said Johnston: "At the end of the month I'm going to file for joint custody of Tripp. Not working. I'm done. It's going to have to go to court. They just finally pushed me over the edge."

I'll be waiting breathlessly for Barbie McLipSchmutz's ghost writer to post a Facebook rebuttal.

Video- William Shatner reads Levi Johnston's tweets on 'Conan'

VIDEO: "Those who would sell their body ...reflect a desperate need for attention"

By GottaLaff

Yesterday I posted Barbie McLipSchmutz's response to Levi Johnston's eyebrow-raising interview. One of the quotes I highlighted was this one:

Consider the source of the most recent attention-getting lies -- those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention."

The hypocrisy was laughably obvious, but in case you needed more proof, Taegan provided it:

Dep't. of Unintentional Comedy: Palin Responds to Johnston

By GottaLaff

Paddy and I are both having computer issues, so this will have to tide you over for a bit:

Sarah Palin responds to allegations made this morning by Levi Johnston, the father of her grandson.

"We have purposefully ignored the mean spirited, malicious and untrue attacks on our family. We, like many, are appalled at the inflammatory statements being made or implied. Trig is our 'blessed little angel' who knows it and is lovingly called that every day of his life. Even the thought that anyone would refer to Trig by any disparaging name is sickening and sad. CBS should be ashamed for continually providing a forum to propagate lies. Consider the source of the most recent attention-getting lies -- those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention."

She's responding to this. I could go on forever, but these two gems stuck out:

"Those who would sell their body..." The poor English alone is enough to make one disregard anything Barbie McLipSchmutz says. But let's go on anyway...

"Desperate need for attention? Likely to say and do anything for even more attention?" Project much, Barbie?

Video- Levi: I'm Hiding "Huge" Things About Palin

Watch CBS News Videos Online

What a schadenfreudey day.

Sarah Palin Out to Destroy Levi Johnston in New Book

By GottaLaff

Not that I make a habit of succumbing to rumors, but this one sounds credible enough:

Sarah Palin is on a personal mission to make mince meat of little Levi Johnston. According to inside sources, a great deal of her new book “Going Rogue: An American Life,” is dedicated to discrediting his post-election revelations by claiming he’s a twerpy opportunist, just looking to make a buck off of the Palin brand name. Levi was unavailable for comment as he is currently holed up at his local gymnasium working out furiously for his upcoming photo spread for Playgirl Magazine. I suppose when the time comes, he’ll let his penis do his talking for him.

How can I possibly outsnark that?

H/t: Gr8RDH

Video- Levi Johnston Gets Crackin' with Wonderful Pistachios

Oh lord, isn't this guy's 15 minutes over yet? The line is kind of funny though. h/t The Caucus.

AUDIO: Levi Johnston immortalized in song

By GottaLaff

Paddy found a bootleg/live sample of Ben Fold's new collaborative album with Nick Hornby.

(Some sample lyrics: “Woke up this morning/what do I see?/3,000 cameras pointing at me/Dude says, ‘You Levi?’/I’m like, ‘Yes, that’s me, sir.’/'Well you just knocked up the VP nominee’s daughter.’”)

You can hear the Studio Version here: http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/zan/blo...