Idaho candidate: "Keep the queens out of the Marines". Oh, it gets better (worse)

By GottaLaff

Look what my Twitter pal Techweenie found (click on images to enlarge so that you can read all that funsy wunsy fine print):


Yes, another extremist is running for office, this time for Idaho's 1st district. What a fine American.

They're easy to spot, because they demand President Obama's birth certificate, and what could be more patriotic than that:

The first thing that I’d like to do when elected and on behalf of the ½ million American citizens of my district, I promise to scream like a F-4 Jet fighter at full war emergency after burner take off power and demand he produce his birth certificate. If that doesn’t work, I’ll make louder noises and get a lot more aggressive. In fact this is “DO OR DIE” They will have to kill me to get me to shut up.

If it is proven Obama is not the legitimate president, then everything he has done while in office and all the people he has appointed and everything they have done will be nullified.

This would really dump hot coals into the shorts of those communist liberal progressive politicians.

It would be like Luke Skywalker dropping his bomb into the ventilation shaft of the Death Star in “Star Wars.

How mature.

Then again, birthers are like that.

Or, hey, maybe he's simply pulling an Andy Kaufman on us, because honestly, sometimes it's hard to believe crazies like this are real people.

American Fascism: Tea Party Speaker Wants Executions For Homosexuals + bonus Daily Show Video!

By GottaLaff

I'll give you an excerpt that should press enough buttons to get you to read the whole thing:

Of course [former Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court and current Alabama gubernatorial candidate – Roy] Moore ranted about homosexuals today in his speech. If you’re interested in what he said, you read a summary here. But, two takeaways from this.

1. That this man served at such a high level in our judicial system is shameful.
2. Why the fuck is Sarah Palin paling around with people that want to execute homosexuals and/or pull their children away from them? And, more importantly, why is her embrace of such hate being tolerated by the mainstream media – and by us.

There now, provoked? Good. Go read the rest.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Alabama Getaway
www.thedailyshow.com
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H/t: StopBeck

Caught! Man accused of threatening Obama arrested

By GottaLaff

Thankfully, this man has been arrested, as we knew he would be:

Federal agents have arrested the man who went to a St. George bank and allegedly made threats against President Barack Obama.

Daniel James Murray was arrested at 7 p.m. Friday in Laughlin, Nev., by the U.S. Secret Service and Las Vegas police, said Malcolm Wiley, a spokesman for the Secret Service. Wiley said agents and police apprehended Murray in the parking lot of the Riverside Casino without incident.[...]

The U.S. Attorney's Office in Utah filed a criminal complaint Thursday charging Murray with one count of threats against the president of the United States.

According to a Secret Service affidavit filed with the complaint, Murray talked about the bad state of the economy as he opened a savings account at a Zions First National Bank branch in St. George on May 19 with an $85,000 check from a credit union.

The affidavit says Murray returned May 27 to withdraw $12,698 in cash and became upset when a teller said he lacked the proper identification to complete the transaction. He allegedly said that "if I don't get this money, someone is going to die."

After a bank manager agreed to allow the transaction, Murray allegedly said, "The banking system will fail and people will die," then later, "We are on a mission to kill the president of the United States." [...]

A former neighbor of Murray's, in Rexford, N.Y., where he lived with his parents said Murray appeared to be mentally ill. Leighann Nastasia said Murray used to walk down the street waving his arms, talking to himself. "He wore a cape," she said.

Unfortunately, there's more where that came from. It's only somewhat comforting to know the president is well-protected. I can't help but worry...

N.Y. man arrested after threatening Sotomayer

By GottaLaff

Way too many threats out there recently:

According to a complaint filed with the Manhattan District Attorney's office, John Zaubler "called 911 and stated that he was going to kill Judge Sonia Sotomayor by blowing her up."

Nice of him to share.

The bizarre complaint charging Zaubler with one count of making a terrorist threat also says that his motive for the assassination was "because he did not want his girlfriend to have to go to prison," although it provides no further detail.

The complaint also states that Zaubler threatened to blow up President Barack Obama.

[...]

He pleaded not guilty and was ordered to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Calls to Zaubler's attorney were not immediately returned.

Look who's back: Melanie "You're Going to Look Super in a Burka" Morgan. Bonus Flashback VIDEO!

By GottaLaff



Should we have a housewarming party? BYOB?*

Longtime radio personality Melanie Morgan and award-winning newspaper columnist John McCaslin have been named the anchors for The Washington Times' new morning-drive radio show, set to debut nationwide June 15.

*Bring Your Own Burka

Keith Olbermann: "Poor Annie (Coulter) has completely lost it."

By GottaLaff

Oh Keith, you say the sweetest things... and please. Keep saying them:

MSNBC's Keith Olbermann is calling out Ann Coulter, who wrote a pice on her Website calling out Olbermann for calling out Rush Limbaugh for a mistake Limbaugh made during his CPAC speech on Saturday.

Did you get all that?

Madam's Apple:

These small-time opportunities to show off by correcting someone else's teeny-tiny mistakes are the lifeblood of Olbermann's MSNBC show, "Countdown." There is utterly no purpose to these lame "gotchas," except that Olbermann is so desperately insecure that he is willing to waste valuable airtime in order to convince other status-conscious idiots that he is, like, scary-smart.

Um, Madam's? Keith's insecure the way Boss Limbaugh is svelt.

Both Olbermann and Coulter went to Cornell, but different schools. "Keith didn't go to the Ivy League Cornell; he went to the Old MacDonald Cornell," she writes. Olbermann responds:

Poor Annie has completely lost it. Cornell diplomas don't make any reference to individual college or major. They're Cornell diplomas. Mine looks exactly like hers, only if she was an out-of-stater she probably paid 8-10 times what I did for mine. And the premise of the University is that anybody can take almost any course. Nearly half of mine were in "her" Arts College. And this is the first time since I went there in 1975 that I've ever seen a Cornellian rag on all the other colleges. It's a long way to go just to rationalize Limbaugh not knowing the Constitution from the Declaration of Independence.

When will they learn? Don't mess with Keith and his "scary-smarts". He's the Obama of Tee Vee Machine hosts. And Madam's, you are no Keith. Not even close.

VIDEO: Rick Santelli claims he is being threatened by White House, then denies it

By GottaLaff

This morning on the TODAY SHOW Rick Santelli implies the White House threatened him, then denies he said they were threatening after Matt Lauer called him out. Additionally, it seems Santelli is also upset that the White House media corps laughed when Robert Gibbs made a joke at his expense. It appears this man needs to grow up. If you want to play ball with the big boys you have act like a big boy.

No further comment necessary. That covers it.

H/t: awp

Blagovernor: The boss from hell

By GottaLaff

Blagoj-vey!

Among those most relieved by Rod Blagojevich's indictment may, in fact, be his staff. According to The New York Times, in the run-up to his indictment, Blagojevich routinely showed up late and berated employees. Upon learning that an employee's step-father had suffered a stroke, Blago asked if that man's family would donate to his campaign; he screamed "You're trying to sabotage my career!" at staff members when his daughters took too long to put on their shoes, making him late for a tree-lighting ceremony; and, he was inordinately concerned about his hair, flying into a rage whenever his Paul Mitchell hair brush, which he referred to as "the football," was out of reach. The Times also reports that, in 2004, Blagojevich was certain that he would be chosen as John Kerry's vice presidential nominee, but he was unsure if he wanted the position.

How comforting to know that Illinois was in the hands of such a stable, unflappable leader. The anti-Obama.

AUDIO-- Bachmann: Obama isn’t ‘anti-American,’ but his views are.

By GottaLaff

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) said on Dennis Miller’s radio show today that she doesn’t believe “that Barack Obama is anti-American.” Bachmann confused her own message later in the show when she said she was “concerned he may have anti-American views.”

I don't believe Bachmann is a bigot. I'm just concerned that she may have bigoted views.

VIDEO: Chris Matthews v. Michele Bachmann

By GottaLaff

Bachman seems unable to articulate a coherent thought beyond "Obama's leftist, liberal, anti-American mentors." She even claims that Rezko is a "leftist, liberal, anti-American." Matthews points out that Rezko is a businessman, not a liberal. Bachman didn't seem to understand the difference.

Wow. Even Tweety was a little freaked out by this whack job.

IWRC* Palin jumps the shark

By GottaLaff

Via Mudflats, we see that IWRC* Palin inhabits her own planet, a planet of one:

Here is the transcript of a five minute conference call with Sarah Palin, Meg Stapleton, the Anchorage Daily News, and local TV stations KTVA, and KTUU. The journalists got one question each with no follow up. [...] [It comes] after the Branchflower Report on the Troopergate investigation was released, stating that she had abused her power as governor. As a matter of fact, let’s review Finding Number One as it is written:

“For the reasons explained in section IV of the report, I find that Governor Sarah Palin abused her power by violating Alaska Statute 39.52.11(a) of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act.

“The legislature reaffirms that each public officer holds office as a public trust, and any effort to benefit a personal or financial interest through official action is a violation of that trust.”

Remember, that the Legislative Council, made up of TEN Republicans and FOUR Democrats voted unanimously to begin the investigation, and unanimously to release the results of the investigation. Continuing with the transcript (emphasis is Mudflats'):

Stapleton: Sure governor, go ahead.

Palin: OK cool.

Well, I’m very very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing … any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that. Todd did what anyone would have done given this state trooper’s very, very troubling behavior and his dangerous threats against our family. Todd did what I think any Alaskan would do.

And he, Todd did what the state’s Department of Law Web site tells anyone to do if they have a concern about a state trooper. And that’s you go to the commissioner and you express your concern. And Todd did what our personal detail asked him to do. Bob Cockrell early on as I was elected and was asked are there any threats against ya, and Todd brought the concern as I did to Commissioner Monegan about the state trooper’s threats. He did what any – I think — any rational person would do so again, nothing to apologize there with Todd’s actions and again very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing.

(Stapleton invites the first question).

ADN: Governor, finding No.1 on the report was that you abused your power by violating state law. Do you think you did anything wrong at all in this Troopergate case?

Palin: Not at all and I’ll tell you, it, I think that you’re always going to ruffle feathers as you do what you believe is in the best interest of the people whom you are serving. In this case I knew that I had to have the right people in the right position at the right time in this cabinet to best serve Alaskans, and Walt Monegan was not the right person at the right time to meet the goals that we had set out in our administration. So no, not having done anything wrong, and again very much appreciating being cleared of any legal wrongdoing or unethical activity at all.

ADN: Have you read the whole report? (No response; Stapleton invites question from KTVA reporter).

KTVA-Channel 11: … The report that came out yesterday, do you think that the end result is partisan?

Palin: Yeah, I did think it did turn into a partisan circus to tell you the truth. Yes I did. You know from Day One it’s been the Personnel Board that clearly laid out in state statute there — Personnel Board deals with any issue of question regarding a governor, a lieutenant governor or an attorney general in the state of Alaska. What this legislative investigation — quote unquote — turned into was a political circus.

KTUU-Channel 2: Governor, so good to hear from you. Do you approve of the way that your campaign has handled themselves here in Alaska? We’ve had a lot of people voice concerns about what they call attacks of good people in our state while you are away.

Palin: Well I haven’t heard of any attacks on good people in Alaska from our campaign. If you have specifics there, maybe I could answer specifically. But no, in John McCain’s mission here, in taking the high road, as you’re going to see too with a lot of unfair shots he has taken in this campaign with some of his opponents’ supporters, McCain and I taking the high road, being positive. I wouldn’t support nor would I condone taking shots at any good Alaskans.

KTUU-Channel 2: Let me answer your question since you asked for specifics.

Palin: Sure.

KTUU-Channel 2: Walt Monegan was called “rogue.” How do you feel about that?

Palin: Rogue isn’t a negative term when you consider that in a cabinet you need a team effort going forward with a governor’s agenda. And our agenda has been to find efficiencies in every department and make sure that we are serving the people of Alaska to the best of our ability given the resources that we have. And remember I fought very hard to increase funding for state troopers so that we could fill positions there and goals not being met that included not being able to recruit and retain all the state troopers that I wanted to best serve Alaska. That could be characterized I think as a cabinet member who – it’s not a negative term I think — being rogue in terms of not meeting those goals.

Palin: Hey, thank you so, Meg. Thank you so much. Thank you also to our local reporters up there in Alaska. Even hearing your names make me feel like I’m right there with you at home. It’s good to get to speak with you. Let me talk a little bit about the Tasergate issue if you guys would let me and, Meg, you want me to just jump right on in there?

The shark has been jumped.

So let’s recap. The report states she has abused her power as governor, and she’s really glad she’s done nothing wrong. Todd did what any “Alaskan” would do. She thinks the mostly Republican legislative council has turned into a partisan circus, but she hasn’t heard anything about attacks on anyone in Alaska from her campaign. The McCain campaign is taking the high road and being positive. And being a rogue cop isn’t a bad thing. Any questions?

If you want to read Lisa Demer’s full account, and hear the interview in the Governor’s own voice: CLICK HERE.

*"In What Respect, Charlie?"

VIDEO: Palin's Prayer Policy

By GottaLaff

Part One:

Part Two:

Palin's Prophetic Declaration

"Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending [U.S. soldiers] out on a task that is from God," she exhorted the congregants. "That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God's plan."

Palin's Energy Policy? Pray.

Just prior to discussing Iraq, Alaska's governor asked the audience to pray for another matter -- a $30 billion national gas pipeline project that she wanted built in the state. "I think God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that," she said.

H/t: Chris

Plot to Kill Obama: Shoot From High Vantage Point

By GottaLaff

Sick, demented, scary, horrendous:

Denver's U.S. attorney is expected to speak on Tuesday afternoon about the arrests of four people suspected in a possible plot to shoot Barack Obama at his Thursday night acceptance speech in Denver. All are being held on either drug or weapons charges.

One of those suspects spoke exclusively to CBS4 investigative reporter Brian Maass from inside the Denver City Jail late Monday night and said his friends had discussed killing Obama.

"So your friends were saying threatening things about Obama?" Maass asked.

"Yeah," Nathan Johnson replied.

"It sounded like they didn't want him to be president?"

"Well, no," Johnson said.

Maass reported earlier Monday that one of the suspects told authorities they were "going to shoot Obama from a high vantage point using a ... rifle ... sighted at 750 yards."

Law enforcement sources told Maass that one of the suspects "was directly asked if they had come to Denver to kill Obama. He responded in the affirmative."

Okay, I'm officially nauseous.

Sources told CBS4 police found two high-powered, scoped rifles in the car along with camouflage clothing, walkie-talkies, wigs, a bulletproof vest, a spotting scope, licenses in the names of other people and 44 grams of methamphetamine. One of the rifles is listed as stolen from Kansas. [...]

"Clearly we feel that there are federal implications -- otherwise we would not have notified those agencies," Dudley said Monday night. "The weapons clearly would cause great concern."

Subsequently authorities went to the Cherry Creek Hotel in Glendale to contact an associate of Gartrell's. But that man, identified as Shawn Robert Adolph, 33, who was wanted on numerous warrants, jumped out of a sixth floor hotel window. Law enforcement sources say Adolph broke an ankle in the fall and was captured moments later. Sources say he had a handcuff ring and was wearing a swastika, and is thought to have ties to white supremacist organizations.

Nathan Johnson, 32, an associate of Gartrell and Adolph, was also arrested Sunday morning. He told authorities that the two men had "planned to kill Barack Obama at his acceptance speech."

"He don't belong in political office. Blacks don't belong in political office. He ought to be shot," Johnson told Maass.

"Do you think they were really plotting to kill Obama?" Maass asked.

"I don't want to say yes, but I don't want to say no," he said. [...]

The Secret Service, FBI, ATF and the joint terrorism task force are all investigating the alleged plot. Dudley didn't say what tied the men together but said more arrests were possible.

Officials with the U.S. Attorney's office in Denver said they do not believe there is a credible threat to Obama or the convention.

"It's premature to say that it was a valid threat or that these folks have the ability to carry it out," said a U.S. government official familiar with the investigation.

How reassuring.

H/t: JoeInGeneva

Obama's aggressive response to Corsi smear "book"

By GottaLaff

In the post title, I put the word "book" in quotes, because what this guy crayoned cannot be elevated to the level of the skill, thought, and legitimacy required to actually write.

Obama campaign response (Barack Obama's campaign is aggressively contesting it in a 41-page memo):

"Jerome Corsi is a discredited liar who is peddling another piece of garbage in order to continue the Bush-Cheney politics he helped perpetuate four years ago," said Obama campaign spokesman Tommy Vietor. "His is one of what will likely be many lie-filled books rushed to print this election cycle that are cobbled together from debunked internet sources to make money and advance a partisan agenda. We will forcefully respond to these smears with all means at our disposal."

Pow! Biff! Sock-o!

You can find the report on its "Fight the Smears" website.