The underlying concern about same-sex marriage

By GottaLaff

Oh, but I teased you. You must go to Dependable Renegade for the punch line.

Here's a nibble:

Alan Grayson v. Sarah Palin: No contest

By GottaLaff

Alan Grayson is "colorful", but what is currently on his site.. even more so: (bolding mine)

On Friday night, Sarah Palin came to Orlando, and attacked Rep. Alan Grayson. This is what she said:

"[W]hat can you say about Alan Grayson? Piper is with me tonight, so I won't say anything about Alan Grayson that can't be said around children. [...] But thank you, Florida, for allowing candidates in a contested primary to duke it out over ideas and principles and values, all with the same goal, and that is unseating those who have such a disconnect from the people of America. That's what the goal is here in this race against Alan Grayson..."

Palin, the former half-term Governor, current-nothing and future-even-less, charmed the all-Republican audience with her folksy folksiness and her homespun homespunnery. Atypically, Palin was wearing clothes that she had paid for herself. At the end of the event, she shared her recipe for mooseface pie.

In response to Palin's attack on Rep Grayson, Grayson actually complimented Palin. Grayson praised Palin for having a hand large enough to fit Grayson's entire name on it. [...] Grayson added that Palin deserved credit for getting through the entire hour-long program without quitting. Grayson also said that Palin really had mastered Palin's imitation of Tina Fey imitating Palin. [...]

Grayson said that the Alaskan chillbilly was welcome to return to Central Florida anytime, as long as she brings lots of money with her, and spends it. "I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them," Grayson added [...]

Over the top, to be sure, but come on, we're all thinking it. Whether it should come from a U.S. representative is debatable (I hear both cheers and jeers for his zingers, mostly cheers).

I concede, taking the high road is preferable, but the immature side of me is saying ogodthisisfun.

Republican hot air

By GottaLaff

Rushpublics defined:

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him:

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49..09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am,” replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

H/t: D_Klein3

VIDEO: World With No Public Options... including YouTube

Download now or watch on posterous

World with no Public Options.mpg (14232 KB)

My pal Jeff Stein, of Jeff Stein/Eric Smeltzer - Hazardous Comedy Network (Premiere Radio Networks), produced the audio for this. It was so good I had to share, so I threw together a few visuals. It's only about a minute long:

LAFFY NOTE: I was banned from YouTube (long story, working on it), and tried this out instead. You can no longer view any of the videos I have posted on my YouTube site, here at TPC, so I reposted this video from earlier today to test out this option.

I have other sharing sites I use, so I'll be able to post original videos again, just not from YouTube.

This site, the one for this post, was one option, but I don't like that you have to click to view the video. I'll be using regular embeddables again soon.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Posted via email from gottalaff's posterous

AUDIO--"My Tweet Spot": Sarah Palin, Meghan McCain edition- Aired June 12, 2009

By GottaLaff



Did you know that I do radio segments every Friday? Look at me going all podcasty and stuff!

"My Tweet Spot" is a recap of the week in politics via Tweets from Twitter. Today's episode consists of Palinisms and Meghanism, as well as some other Tweeterisms. That's a whole lot of isms.

I do three per show every Friday. Podcasts here.

Hope you like it!

Drinks at Obama's place

By GottaLaff

Hic!

President Obama will host a cocktail reception for Congressional leaders tonight at the White House, the New York Times reports.

"The bipartisan affair is set to come shortly after the House considers the president's economic stimulus bill. The roll call vote could make for some interesting conversation, particularly if the bulk of Republicans oppose the proposal as planned."

Can't wait for reports on The Boehner drinking himself into a drunk-call-worthy stupor and getting all weepy as he tries to toast himself while stumbling over vintage White House furniture.

Breaking news! Obama skipped his workout!

By GottaLaff

Oh. My. God. Obama actually has priorities? As opposed to our current president [sic]?

With his family already in Washington, D.C., President-elect Obama skipped his usual morning workout and headed directly for the transition office.

Obama is scheduled to leave Chicago this evening and join his family at the historic Hay-Adams hotel, just across Lafayette Park from the White House.

This will take some getting used to. A commander in chief who is actually present, both in mind and body. Go figure.

VIDEO: Stuck for gift ideas? How about a Cheney-inspired bullet-proof jacket?

By GottaLaff

By GottaLaff

Nothing says Merry Christmas like getting shot by a .38. And who better to inspire holiday thoughts like that? Why, none other than the Nation of Dick himself:

Miguel Caballero, “a Colombian tailor who has made a fortune from selling bullet-proof fashion to presidents, oligarchs, celebrities,” is marketing a new line of stylish bullet-proof jackets. The jackets are apparently inspired by Vice President Dick Cheney’s now-famous shooting accident:

“This is a new market for us. Dick Cheney has helped raise awareness of accidents,” said Carolina Fernandez, a marketing director.

The Guardian’s Rory Carroll tested out the new product, bravely allowing himself to get shot by a .38 pistol at point-blank range while wearing the jacket.

Who better to model the stylish fashion-o'-the'day than the Alaskan clothes-horse of the hunting set, Quickdraw Sarah Pallin'?

As she makes her way down the runway in gunmetal gray stiletto heels, a flashy flannel and moosehair shirt, and featured designer Miguel Caballero's Xmas Dick-garb, carrying a turkey and smiling as if there's no tomorrow (for good reason), we see a salivating Cheney taking aim. What a way to stage a fashion show!

Let's hope ol' Dick is shooting blanks! But then, he usually does, from what we in the know hear from anonymous sources. Winky winky.

This is a wardrobe must for any family. Buy matching bullet-proof vests for the kiddies! Invite the in-laws in for some good old fashion people-hunting! Rootin'-tootin' fun for all ages!

And for only a few dollars extra, we're including the stocking stuffer of all stocking stuffers! A travel-sized container of the best buckshot money can buy, already gift-wrapped! Tell your friends!

Death certificates not included.

VIDEO: Obama's (snark-infested) transition team

By GottaLaff

Via The Landline:


Barack's transition team tries to find a single Bush policy to keep.

VIDEO: "Looks Like I'm Votin' for a Black Man"

By GottaLaff

Something to watch while I write up the next post. This is a snarky song by a friend of Commenter SopranoSpinner. He's an Obama supporter who makes his point, um, pointedly. Enjoy:

VIDEO: Palinex

By GottaLaff


(via)

H/t: Clancy

VIDEO: "Everybody Run, the Ex-Beauty Queen's Got a Gun"

By GottaLaff



Julie Brown has come up with a new song, and she debuted it on the Stephanie Miller Show.

Hint: IWRC* Palin spoofy, snarky, raunchy fun.

*"In What Respect, Charlie?"

Someone's been reading my mind

Also via Sam Loomis.

Snark alert: Republican Convention Schedule Leaked

By GottaLaff

It's pretty, er, blunt, but what the hell, I'm in a mood:

7:00 pm – Ceremonial burning of the U.S. Constitution
7:15 pm – Spiritual Medium Sylvia Browne performs psychic séance in desperate attempt to raise Ronald Reagan from the grave
7:35 pm – "The Pleasures of Adultery" - with Newt Gingrich & Rudy Giuliani
8:05 pm – Gay sex party in Men's Restroom hosted by Senator Larry Craig
8:35 pm - Transvestite Ann Coulter – "My Life as a Man"
8:55 pm – Live satellite feed from Federal Prison – Ohio Rep. Bob Ney
9:05 pm – Guest speaker ex-Florida Congressman Mark Foley " Joys with Young Boys"
9:25 pm – Oliver North – " Iran is Evil, but I sold them weapons anyway"
9:40 pm – Bill O' Reilly – " The costs of sexual harassment and phone sex with employees"
10:00 pm – Gay sex party in Men's Room hosted by Ken Mehlman and Geraldo Rivera
10:25 pm – Check John McCain to see if he's still breathing and if his adult diaper needs changed.
10:35 pm – N.R.A. President hosts an assault rifle target practice on Gays and Mexicans.
10:45 pm - Call emergency squad after a drunken Dick Cheney accidentally shoots his friend in the face.
11:00 pm – President Bush performs his hilarious comedy routine where he looks for Iraq's fictitious WMD's under guests tables.
11:15 pm – Governor Mike Huckabee does his famous uncanny imitation of Gomer Pyle.
11:20 pm – Group intervention to get Rush Limbaugh back into drug rehab
11: 45 pm – Go up on rooftop and throw rocks down at homeless Vets sleeping in alley.
12:00 am – Live satellite feed from Federal Prison – California Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham
12:20 am – Convicted felon/Fox News analyst G. Gordon Liddy – Lock picking secrets
12: 40 am – Guest speakers Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz – "How to lie your Country into a War"
1:00 am – Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay – "Tips on Money Laundering"
1:15 am – Hookers arrive for after party

H/t: My pal Jeff Stein

Now that you mention it....

Via RJ Eskow-

Boy, does that John McCain have a lot of houses. Lemme tell ya ... If they were all in one place he'd be Cleveland.

What? John McCain doesn't know how many houses he owns? Can't he ask Joe Lieberman?

Don't blame McCain. He couldn't resist that "buy six mansions, get one free" sale at Countrywide.

Hey, I know it SOUNDS bad. But they needed someplace to put all those lobbyists!

Hey, John McCain can't remember how many houses he has! It's not his fault, though. He had the number written down but he left it in his other plane.

Holy crap, I'm freaking "exotic"!!!

And according to Brian Williams, my life story is also "bizarre". I'm even technically more "exotic" than Obama!!!


****************************************

Funny First Name? Barack YES Paddy YES

Mother US Citizen Barack YES Paddy NO
when child born?

Father US citizen Barack NO Paddy NO
when child born?

Child born in US? Barack YES Paddy YES

Resident of other Barack YES Paddy YES
country as a child?

Attend school in Barack YES Paddy YES
foreign country?

Siblings with weird Barack YES Paddy YES
names born in other
than US?

Dad dark skinned? Barack YES Paddy YES

Born in 1961? Barack YES Paddy YES
***************************************

Ya'll are sooooo lucky to have me

VIDEO: "Catharsis" the fragrance: A temper tantrum in a bottle

By GottaLaff

It lingers, it hangs in the air like 18 million egos... it's....."Catharsis."



H/t: Bucky

Handy Dandy Excuse Generator

We need one of those for Senator McCain since his staff must be getting very tired of having to rebut everything with his standard line. Just a program that Nicole "GWB is AWESOME" Wallace can plug the gaff of the day into and get the umbrella excuse. It would go something like this-

Cindy- Honey, you left the toilet seat up again!!!

JSMcIII- “The insinuation from my frozen faced trophy wife that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, left the toilet seat up is outrageous,”

or

Joe Lieberman- "Um, JSid, it's Sunni not Shia."

JSMCIII- “The insinuation from the lickspittle lying lackey that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, doesn't know Shia from Sunni is outrageous,”

Template here-

“The insinuation from ______ that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, ______ is outrageous,”

Could be very helpful.

Snark infested video: The McLieberBush Triplets

By GottaLaff

Paddy and I are cooking up an idea for yet another video. In the meantime, I put this one together out of pure frustration. Let's make these viral. Please follow the instructions below.


As with other videos, if you are so inclined, please click on the "Share" icon under the tags. Then choose as many Digg, Reddit, Stumbleupon types of recommendations as you can to get this around. Let's make this a referendum on McCain, not Obama.

Many thanks,

Laffy

John Sidney McCain: Clearing up the nasty rumors

By GottaLaff

Just saw this on the Obama site, and thought it was only fair to post it here. You all know how we value accuracy on this blog. With that in mind, let's set the record straight about John Sidney and Cindy Lou Hensley McCain and all that loose talk of their extravagant ways:

THE LIE: Combined, the McCain family has has a credit card balance that is more than $750,000 and their interest rate is 24.49%.

THE TRUTH: The McCains pay off their credit card bills on a monthly basis. The $750,000 figure is also wrong, though it is true that between January 2007 and May 2008, one of the credit cards did reach $500,000 and another reached $250,000.

Also, with a combined net worth over $100 million, most of the credit cards did not have any interest payments at all. Only their Visa, Mastercard, and Saks Fifth Avenue cards (monthly balances ranging between $15,000 and $50,000) charged interest.
::: :::
THE LIE: McCain purchased two separate $4.7 million dollar condos in San Diego for their own enjoyment.

THE TRUTH: The combined cost of the two condos was $4.7 millon, and one of them was for the kids.
::: :::
THE LIE: The McCains spent over $500,000 in 2007 on household staff, such as maids and butlers.

THE TRUTH: They increased their household staffing budget from $184,000 in 2006 to only $273,000 in 2007.
::: :::
THE LIE: The McCains spent $11 million between the summer of 2004 and February 2008 on 13 different residences.

THE TRUTH: They spent $11 million acquiring five residences.
::: :::
THE LIE: The McCains inherited a business worth $1,000,000,000 from relatives.

THE TRUTH: The McCains inherited assets worth more than $100,000,000 from relatives, but those assets are unlikely to be worth $1,000,000,000.
::: :::
THE LIE: John McCain gambles away hundreds of thousands of dollars at the craps tables in Las Vegas.

THE TRUTH: While John McCain does frequently play craps in Las Vegas in continuous 14-hour sessions, it is unlikely that he has ever gambled away $100,000 in a single session.

There now. I feel cleansed.