John McCain: "We Arizonans hate California, because they've stolen our water."

By GottaLaff

John McCain:

"We Arizonans hate California, because they've stolen our water."

Hate? Arizona "hates" us?

I live in California. Many of us here believe McCain stole the country's credibility.

McCain on reconciliation (paraphrased in part):

I remember the last time there was a proposal... we Republicans were in the majority... re: confirmation of judges... If reconciliation is enacted on 1/6 of our gross national product... it could harm the future of our country.

Obama:

Americans aren't all that interested in procedure... but they want a vote... probably feel majority vote is okay.

You say Washington shouldn't impose... unless it's something you guys like. ... But there may be a way to do it where states can tackle issue in a serious way... We have to arrive at a package that includes other drivers of health care inflation...

Palin: “There’s no better training ground for politics than motherhood”

By GottaLaff

The New York Times book review of Barbie McLipSchmutz's ghost writer's efforts included this quote:

She pretends no particular familiarity with the Middle East, the Iraq war or Islamic politics — “I knew the history of the conflict,” she writes, “to the extent that most Americans did.” And she argues that “there’s no better training ground for politics than motherhood.”

If that's true, then why are there only a handful of Rushpublic women serving? They should far outnumber the men if they're so well-trained. Using Palin's logic, either most Rushpublic women with political aspirations never gave birth, or they were such inferior moms that they didn't qualify for a run.

Let's see what else the Times dug up. I see she's not too fond of fish-turned-humans. How rude of her to offend fish that way:

Elsewhere in this volume, she talks about creationism, saying she “didn’t believe in the theory that human beings — thinking, loving beings — originated from fish that sprouted legs and crawled out of the sea” or from “monkeys who eventually swung down from the trees.” In everything that happens to her, from meeting Todd to her selection by Mr. McCain for the Republican ticket, she sees the hand of God: “My life is in His hands. I encourage readers to do what I did many years ago, invite Him in to take over.”

First-- and this is so stupid it burns holes through other stupid burn-holes-- fish didn't "sprout legs", Barbie. Little Nemo didn't wake up one day and say, "I'm a real boy!" Sorry about combining references, but when it comes to Palin, it comes naturally.

Next, if God really did take over and all we got was Palinism-as-we-know-it, then He needs more than one day of rest.

Here's another tasty little morsel:

She says she “never sought to ban any books” as mayor of Wasilla, and in fact has always had a “special passion for reading.”

If only her recollection of what she supposedly read matched her special passion. I guess God took over during the Couric interview and had a memory fart.

And finally, bringing up the rear (literally):

“As every Iditarod musher knows,” she writes of the famous Alaska dog-sled race, “if you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes.”

She should know.

Dueling Obama Quotes on Single Payer Health Care

By GottaLaff

I'll preface this post with something I heard Thom Hartmann say today... and that was that if President Obama were to support single payer care at this point, health care reform would be D.O.A.

That said:

"I have not said that I was a single payer supporter."

-- President Obama, at a town hall meeting in New Hampshire this afternoon.

"I happen to be a proponent of a single payer universal health care plan."

-- Obama, at a Senate campaign rally in 2003.

Part 6: Gitmo Detainee Fayiz al-Kandari speaks... from his cell

By GottaLaff

This is Part 7 of a series I feel more and more compelled to bring to you as each day goes by. Why? Because every day that I have the freedom to sit here and type this story, safe and sound in my own comfortable home, Fayiz al-Kandari is confined to a cell, alone for most hours of any given day, and hurting.

He is there in our name. He has been brutally mistreated in our name.

Yet somehow, he has maintained his sense of humor and presence of mind. I asked Lt. Col. Barry Wingard to share some of Fayiz's quotes with me. Here's what he came up with, plus my own visual annotations:

Before the new Administration, we knew we would new get justice so life was easier without thought. Now comes the hope that we will finally get a chance to prove our innocence. Unfortunately that hope has begun to fade.

If I am one of the “worst of the worst” proving a basic crime should be easy.

If I had done something against America this would be so much easier.

When I get out I want to start a family and business.

The Islamic faith does not allow for the killing of innocent people.

You and I have much more in common than those who tell us to hate each other.

I was very happy to learn Americans were going to take me from Afghani captors initially. Kuwait and America stand shoulder to shoulder and each helps the others, I have no problem with that at all.

AFP/Getty Images
Emir of Kuwait Sheikh Sabah al-Ahmad al-Jaber al-Sabah greets US Democratic presidential contender Senator Barack Obama in Kuwait City late July, 20, 2008. Obama stopped in Kuwait on his way to Iraq.

I got treatment that is similar to “five dark star accommodations.”

I have no hard feelings man; just give me a chance to explain.

I wish they would give us something other than romance novels to read.

I will not apologize or make false claims against others; trust me I would have been out of here long ago if I had.

What is the interrogations fixation with Saddam, he would kill me faster than he would you. You can’t really believe a guy living in a cave and another living in a palace from different sects, clans and tribes would act together? Come on man, that’s crazy. Still, I have asked many times about it, especially in the bad days.

Someday I hope our babies can play in the together and be friends long after we are gone.

I hate iguanas.

The chicken is to dry and I will not eat it.

At his Wikipedia site, there are claims that Fayiz issued a "Fatwa" against poultry. "Fatwa" is a "scary Muslim word". Oh, and Fayiz works out and tries to teach others to read. These activities can actually be used as allegations against him:

Detainee has been a regular leader of prayer, and continually physically trains in his cell. He teaches martial arts on occasion to other detainees.

The detainee has encouraged Muslims to cause problems for the guards at GTMO and conduct a strike. He also issued a Fatwa to not eat the chicken and meat at GTMO because Muslim law doesn’t permit it.

Moving on:

Barry, have you brought justice with you today?

(Note: That's a comment on our justice system, not on Barry's abilities)

Please don’t bother my family, it is too hard on them.

Does your grandmother [average American] still hate me?

I know the people who beat me up are not typical Americans; and those who always questioned me are not your smartest.

For me, I am educated and have traveled, I really feel bad for the uneducated here; they were beaten, exploited for bad information, and this is all they will ever know of Americans. America had a great opportunity here and did exactly the opposite of what it should have.

I have never been closer to leaving than right now, I hope.

I hope, too.

If you'd like to scroll through every post I've written on this subject, most of them eye-openers, please go here. That link includes audio and video interviews with Lt. Col. Wingard, one by David Shuster, one by Ana Marie Cox, and more. My guest commentary at BuzzFlash is here.

If you use Twitter, the hashtag is #FreeFayiz. We have organized a team to get these stories out. If you are interested in helping Fayiz out, e-mail me at The Political Carnival, address in sidebar to the right; or tweet me at @GottaLaff.

Nix on Nixon: Find 'attractive' women, "abortion is necessary"

By GottaLaff

What a guy:

"There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white. Or a rape."

-- President Nixon, in newly-released tapes of Oval Office conversations.

Yes, by all means, equate a black/white relationship with rape. How American of you, Dick.

More via CNN:

President Richard Nixon believed one way to shore up the GOP in 1973 was by recruiting "attractive" women, but not because he was "for women," according to audio tapes released Tuesday.

In February of 1973, President Nixon called future president and then-Republican National Committee chairman George H.W. Bush, and recounted a recent visit to the South Carolina state legislature.

"I noticed a couple of very attractive women, both of them Republicans, in the legislature," Nixon told Bush. "I want you to be sure to emphasize to our people, God, let's look for some… Understand, I don't do it because I'm for women, but I'm doing it because I think maybe a woman might win someplace where a man might not… So have you got that in mind?"

Bush replies, "I'll certainly keep it in mind."

And then he went home to Barbara.

RepubliQuotes

By GottaLaff

Rushpublics provide so much entertainment! They're better than party clowns! Why, I bet they can make balloon animals out of each other!

Look! Here's a balloon monkey now:

Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK) admitted that his vote to oppose Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor was a “foregone conclusion” eleven years before she was even nominated:

“That was a foregone conclusion,” the Oklahoma Republican said, citing his 1998 opposition to Sotomayor’s nomination to her current post.

As for The Boehner, well he's just a squeaky little twisted balloon ----um, elephant?

Boehner admitted that such stimulus projects do, in fact, "create much-needed jobs":

The stated intent of the so-called stimulus package was to create jobs, and certainly a $57 million slush-fund studying projects did nothing to achieve that goal. With Ohio’s unemployment rate the highest it’s been in 25 years, I’m pleased that federal officials stepped in to order Ohio to use all of its construction dollars for shovel-ready projects that will create much-needed jobs.

Those silly, wacky, zany clowns, always popping out with the darndest things. Pop!

Quotes from Obama's first 100 days

I just picked out a few of my favorites, the full list is here.

"The impact of this recession is real and it is everywhere. But while our economy may be weakened and our confidence shaken, though we are living through difficult and uncertain times, tonight I want every American to know this: We will rebuild, we will recover, and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before." -- His first address to a joint session of Congress on Feb 24.

"It took us a couple of days because I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak." -- Comment after he was asked at a news conference March 24 why it took him so long to express outrage over executive bonuses at the big insurer American International Group Inc.

"Our government has forced what I believe is a false choice between sound science and moral values." -- Remarks on March 9 as he signed documents changing science policy and removing what some researchers have said were shackles on their work.

Sarah Palin: "Bored, anonymous, pathetic bloggers who lie annoy me."

By GottaLaff

Some nuggets from Interview-Me Sarah's Esquire session:

"Bored, anonymous, pathetic bloggers who lie annoy me."

Hypocritical, over-exposed, know-nothing, pathetic wannabes who lie annoy me.

"The secret to chili is you gotta have good mooseburger in there. I don't know if you can get moose commercially in New York. You'd have to come up here and visit me in my home, and I'll prepare it for ya."

After you shoot it from an airplane?

"Carmex. I'm addicted to Carmex. I don't go anywhere without Carmex."

If applying it often prevents you from opening your mouth, by all means, don't attend those Carmex Anonymous meetings.

"Hot? If only people could see me as I come in from a run early in the morning without a trough full of makeup on, I think that they'd have a different opinion."

Thanks for the visual.

More here.

Bush exit watch: Stages

By GottaLaff

How about staging an early exit? Quote One:

"When I get out of here, I'm getting off the stage."

-- President Bush, in his final press conference.

Better yet, get on a stage, and get out of town.

Quote Two:

In an interview on Fox News, President Bush confirmed he will write a book once leaving the White House -- evne though some say he should wait.

The topic: "You know, I'm not quite exactly sure what it's going to be, but I'm toying with the idea of maybe describing the toughest decisions I had to make as President, and the context in which I made them."

The timing: "Well, I'll say two years and it will be four. I don't know. I mean, yes, I'd like to get it done. I am a Type A personality that -- you know, I require things to do, and I bet once I get going on this book, I'll be able to get 'er done."

Was that even a sentence? Of course not, it was his usual incoherent Palinesque jumble of spontaneously combusted attempts at words, but with less thought than is required to fall asleep.

As far as his Type A personality? More like Type F. As in Failure.

Geek-in-chief or "nerd-adjacent"?

By GottaLaff

"Random chance seems to have operated in our favor":

President-elect Barack Obama used to collect comic books, can't part with his BlackBerry, and once flashed Leonard "Mr. Spock" Nimoy the Vulcan "Live Long and Prosper" sign.

That and other evidence has convinced some of Obama's nerdier fans that he'll be the first American president to show distinct signs of geekiness. [...]

Others see only some geek qualities, qualifying the president-elect as merely "nerd-adjacent." After all, he's an athlete and kind of cool, some experts demur. Still, there's enough there for geeks to celebrate.

"'Fascinating' is a word I use for the unexpected. 'Interesting' shall suffice here."

Psychology professor Larry Welkowitz of Keene State College in New Hampshire hopefully speculated that there's a shift in what's cool and that "smart can be in. Maybe that started with the computer programmers of the '90s. The Bill Gateses of the world are OK."

[...] While Margot Mifflin, now a journalism professor in New York, said she saw no geeky signs in Obama as a freshman at Occidental College in California, Amiekoleh Kimbrew Usafi recalled it differently, despite the lack of technology back in 1979.

"He's a geek because he was smart," Usafi said, noting that Occidental was a geeky school to start with, billing itself as the Yale of the West. "I remember he would be hitting his books. I would see him in the library. ... There were a lot of girls that liked him because he was cute, but he kept his head in the direction he was going in. I would see him studying all the time."

"Frankly, I was rather dismayed by your use of the term '[geek]', captain. You must admit it is an unsophisticated expression."

So a quick geek cultural check for Obama:

-Technology. Click that icon. He's the candidate who tried to announce his vice presidential pick by text message and embraced Facebook as a campaign tool. He's seldom seen without a BlackBerry and talks of a chief technology officer for the nation.

-Comic books. As a youngster, Obama collected Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comic books. His Senate Web site used to have a photo of him posing in front of a Superman statue, and in October at New York's Alfred Smith dinner he joked: "I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the planet Earth." Jor-El was the father of Superman, born on the planet Krypton.

-"Star Trek," the long-running TV show. According to the actor Leonard Nimoy, who played Mr. Spock in the series, Obama flashed him the split four-fingered Vulcan salute when the two crossed paths last year. In May in Des Moines, Newsweek caught Obama teasing wife Michelle about her belt buckle, saying it was studded with Star Trek-powering dilithium crystals and adding, "Beam me up, Scotty!" As he laughed at his own joke, Michelle Obama rolled her eyes, as geek wives often do.

Yes, geeks have wives. That's one of the things that separates them from nerds and dorks.

"Take my Worf, please."

"A geek is someone who has the knowledge of the geeky type stuff and has social graces," Blum said. "A nerd is someone who has the knowledge but not the social graces and a dork is someone who has neither."

Okay, so I've dated a few geeks.

By that definition Obama is a geek, not a nerd or dork, Blum said. Nerds are the type who live in their parents' basements until they're 45, whereas geeks are more normal, he said. [...]

Blum said Obama qualifies as the first geek-in-chief because George W. Bush was too much a cheerleader and Bill Clinton too wonky and not technological enough. The other presidents came of age before geek culture did, so don't qualify. [...]

In some ways, though, experts say Obama is just too cool, too athletic, too normal to wear the geek cape. Obama did use drugs and was a high school athlete, missing out on two prime nerd qualities, Nugent said.

Dan Sarewitz, a professor of science and society at Arizona State University, said calling Obama a geek is unfair both to the president-elect and geeks.

"He's too cool to be a geek; he's a decent basketball player; he knows how to dance; he dresses well," Sarewitz said. "It's too high a standard for geeks to possibly live up to."

"Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here."

"Obama vs. Ignorance"

By GottaLaff

Michael Moore just said, on Larry King Live:

"It's not Obama vs. McCain. It's Obama vs. Ignorance."

Absolutely right. Perfect.

Another great quote:

"Would you turn your car over to someone you barely know? A teenager? If you vote for Sarah Palin, you're turning the country over to someone you've only known for seven weeks. Seven weeks!"

"Obama may have the best ground game in Democratic history"

By GottaLaff

Just now on MSNBC's Hardball, Roger Simon of Politico said the following (and I've never heard him concede so many points about Obama):

--Cheney's heart attack reminds everyone about how old McCain is.

--...and about what a [terrible] candidate Sarah Palin is. (paraphrased, I can't remember what word he used)

--Obama's leading by 14. It would be a huge lead with even half of that.

--Obama may have the best ground game in Democratic history.

Yup.