Shallow Thoughts: Best and Worst Lists edition

By GottaLaff

Today's Shallow Thought:

I was going to make a list of Best and Worst Lists of the Decade's Top 10 Lists, but thought the better of it.

That was today's Shallow Thought. Thank you for wading in.

Sarah Palin's dad: She left Hawaii because Asians made her uncomfortable

By GottaLaff

I guess Barbie McLipSchmutz is, as she says, "one of us", if by "us" she means "not them".

During an interview with reporters (who wrote "Sarah From Alaska"), Sam Tanenhaus (who reviewed Barbie's ghostwriter's book) noticed that Papa Palin contradicted his own Daughter the Quitter's reasons for leaving college in Hawaii.

Which means, she has now achieved merging quitting with lying in one fell swoop.

Presenting the ol' Quit/Lie Combo served up all nice and crispy with a side of Word Cole Slaw and a heaping ladleful of "brown people make me colicky":

Palin, though notoriously ill-traveled outside the United States, did journey far to the first of the four colleges she attended, in Hawaii. She and a friend who went with her lasted only one semester. "Hawaii was a little too perfect," Palin writes. "Perpetual sunshine isn't necessarily conducive to serious academics for eighteen-year-old Alaska girls." Perhaps not. But Palin's father, Chuck Heath, gave a different account to Conroy and Walshe. According to him, the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made her uncomfortable: "They were a minority type thing and it wasn't glamorous, so she came home." In any case, Palin reports that she much preferred her last stop, the University of Idaho, "because it was much like Alaska yet still 'Outside.' "

Asians and Pacific Islanders just weren't glamorous enough for her. Damn. If only they were into high heels, lipstick, and hip-waders.

And we all know how "minority type things" can make a girl feel all squirmy and outta the Hawaiian loop. Who can blame her for needing to escape from all that island clique-itude?

Heywaitjustadurnminute... Did she just reject President Obama's birthplace... again? Boy howdy, I think she did.

H/t: TexBetsy

John Ziegler: Palin book "by far the best book and greatest literary achievement by a political figure in my lifetime.”

By GottaLaff

Look who's back! Remember John "I make failed Palin-kiss-ass films when I'm not a loser on a dating show" (that's a link to our exclusive story/video) Ziegler? Still don't know who he is? Here are a few more reminders: Link link link link.

Now he can add Palin book critic worshipper to his resume. Via Media Matters:

“For many reasons, this is by far the best book and greatest literary achievement by a political figure in my lifetime.”

“I strongly believe that if every Republican primary voter reads this book, Sarah Palin will win the 2012 nomination in a landslide, whether she wants it or not.And he wants to be taken seriously. Seriously?

Here's my review of his review, "whether he wants it or not":

H/t: GTebbetts

Palin: “There’s no better training ground for politics than motherhood”

By GottaLaff

The New York Times book review of Barbie McLipSchmutz's ghost writer's efforts included this quote:

She pretends no particular familiarity with the Middle East, the Iraq war or Islamic politics — “I knew the history of the conflict,” she writes, “to the extent that most Americans did.” And she argues that “there’s no better training ground for politics than motherhood.”

If that's true, then why are there only a handful of Rushpublic women serving? They should far outnumber the men if they're so well-trained. Using Palin's logic, either most Rushpublic women with political aspirations never gave birth, or they were such inferior moms that they didn't qualify for a run.

Let's see what else the Times dug up. I see she's not too fond of fish-turned-humans. How rude of her to offend fish that way:

Elsewhere in this volume, she talks about creationism, saying she “didn’t believe in the theory that human beings — thinking, loving beings — originated from fish that sprouted legs and crawled out of the sea” or from “monkeys who eventually swung down from the trees.” In everything that happens to her, from meeting Todd to her selection by Mr. McCain for the Republican ticket, she sees the hand of God: “My life is in His hands. I encourage readers to do what I did many years ago, invite Him in to take over.”

First-- and this is so stupid it burns holes through other stupid burn-holes-- fish didn't "sprout legs", Barbie. Little Nemo didn't wake up one day and say, "I'm a real boy!" Sorry about combining references, but when it comes to Palin, it comes naturally.

Next, if God really did take over and all we got was Palinism-as-we-know-it, then He needs more than one day of rest.

Here's another tasty little morsel:

She says she “never sought to ban any books” as mayor of Wasilla, and in fact has always had a “special passion for reading.”

If only her recollection of what she supposedly read matched her special passion. I guess God took over during the Couric interview and had a memory fart.

And finally, bringing up the rear (literally):

“As every Iditarod musher knows,” she writes of the famous Alaska dog-sled race, “if you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes.”

She should know.

VIDEOS: "Check Please!"-- Obama's lost episodes

By GottaLaff

Check this out: Our next president was on the Tee Vee Machine as an amateur restaurant critic:

In August, 2001, President-elect Barack Obama did a turn as amateur restaurant critic for a local Chicago television show called "Check, Please!". The premise of the show was that each week three amateur reviewers were invited to pick their favorite restaurant and review it, then they would review the picks of the other two critics.

After taping an episode with a local firefighter and a retail buyer, Obama's segment was shelved...until now. The vintage clip will be aired on January 16th.

The Chicago Tribune has more:

[T]he president-elect was too good--too thoughtful, too articulate, not enough of an amateur. He ended up dominating the conversation.

"It was unbalanced," Manilow said, "to put it charitably."

In other words, he was overqualified and realized he'd be better off as president of the United States. Here, he reviewed Dixie Kitchen and Bait Shop in the Hyde Park neighborhood of Chicago:



The episode will air on January 16th at 8:00PM on WTTW.

H/t: Ellen

Palin's Big Interview: The reviews are in

By GottaLaff

I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out if Lynn Sweet saw the same interview I saw:

Sarah Palin showed herself as steely and supremely confident--even when she stumbled over a question about the Bush Doctrine --and brushed off whether it mattered that she had never met a foreign head of state in her much anticipated first network interview as John McCain's running mate.

I'm sorry, what? IMHO, she came off as studied, yet unprepared, and played the role of "confident" without convincing me she actually was. When she stumbled over that question, she looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and very un-ready to be a heartbeat away from the Big Red Button.

Sweet gave her points for being able to pronounce "Saakashvili". So that's what it takes to be v.p.! Please ... Get real.

Here's more:

Gibson tested her when he asked about the "Bush Doctrine" (regarding pre-emptive strikes to protect U.S. interests) waiting to see if she knew about the doctrine that paved the war for the Iraq war. Gibson asked her if she agreed with the Bush Doctrine.

She tried to wing it---using the technique of asking "in what respect?" to get some clues about its essential elements--but Gibson made her squirm some until he gave up some details. [...]

A low point: trying to pass off she was some Russian expert because Alaska is near Russia's edge. "They're our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska."

Time for a quick fact check:

Sarah Palin attempted to deflect a question about the fact she has never met head of state by saying that "many" other vice presidential nominees in history hadn't met a head of state either.

However Palin was mistaken.

Every vice presidential nominee over the last 30 years had met a foreign head of state before being elected vice president.

"Have you ever met a foreign head of state?" Gibson asked Palin Thursday.

"I have not," Palin said, "and I think if you go back in history and if you ask that question of many vice presidents, they may have the same answer that I just gave you."

However Palin, who obtained her first passport two years ago, would in fact be the first vice president in 32 years who hadn't met a foreign head of state.

But never mind. She's pretty and wears the kewlest eyeglasses and she likes mooseburgers and never blinks. That's all you really need to worry about when you vote for the person who could potentially control a nuclear arsenal (and yes, she pronounces it "nuc-u-lar") and otherwise profoundly affect our lives.

It's Bush all over again. The country cannot be this easily fooled again, can it?

The New York Review of Books likes Cliff Schecter

By GottaLaff

Be proud, Cliffy!

Schecter, a freelance liberal commentator who contributes frequently to The Huffington Post, recounts, for the first time, a tale—confirmed to him, he writes, by three Arizona reporters—that in 1992, after Cindy McCain teased her husband about his thinning hair, McCain snapped at her, in front of the reporters and two staffers: "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c—." One wonders if on such occasions she reminds her husband who it was that made his political career possible. She has recently called the idea that her husband has a temper "a concoction."

The second issue is more substantive and deals with McCain's policy record—both his votes as a senator and the positions he's taking as presidential candidate. In many matters, it is far from consistent. Schecter's The Real McCain chronicles, in fine-grain detail, McCain's votes and positions, showing that they often seem to reflect hypocrisy, flip-flopping, and pure expediency, rather than the political courage for which he is famous.

Go, Cliff! We need your words to become part of the general election mantra.

One more thing: After seeing what Cliff can dig up, I wouldn't want to be on his bad side. Wink.