VIDEO: "The Better Marriage Blanket"... It's a gas!

By GottaLaff

Andrew Sullivan found this, and he believes it's legit:



Cool beans! I believe this is geared more toward old farts, and they could create quite a stink if they got wind of it. Personally, I think the ad is full of hot air, but I'm a little anal that way.

Glenn Beck's New Novel Is Ripped from Glenn Beck's Headlines

By GottaLaff

Glenn Blech didn't have to come close to taxing his warped imagination when he wrote [sic] his new novel. No, he merely had to grab some crayons and construction paper, and the words just flowed.

Gawker has a plot summary that you can read here, but suffice it to say it's as predictable as you most likely predicted. It's all about the Big Bad Liberals, fear mongering, terrorist attacks, and, well, get a load of the heroes.

It's not often one can profit from jotting down his own recurring dreams:

Through the magic of imagination, he can cast himself as the dashing young playboy and put a younger Sarah Palin in an adventuring catsuit and the pair can run off into the night, solving crimes against American traditionalism and safely waiting to do it until they can get married in a consecrated chapel built out of Lincoln's old house.

And they're aided by a crusading band of "patriots"! This means Teabaggers.

Go take a look. And bring some Kleenex, because you'll laugh yourself to tears.

Wingnut e-mail links wearing Obama tee shirts to crime

By GottaLaff

Via Wonkette, the latest in jaw-dropping wingnut lunacy:


The above was part of an e-mail, sent to most members of Congress. Wonkette has the other part.

"There MUST be a message here, but I can't quite grasp it." Hey, know why?

1. If this is the kind of thing you send around, you can't grasp much of anything.

2. The only message "here" is that there were whole a lot of Obama tee shirts out "there". He won. By a landslide. Remember?

3. People who get hauled in also wear lots of other tee shirts with lots of other logos. Deeper meaning? I. Don't. Think. So.

4. Seriously? A Nixon/Ike/Ford/St. Ronnie/Dole shirt? Really? Those exist? And if they did, who'd wear them, this guy?


Bob Dole tee shirt indeed.

Roger Ailes won't run in 2012, he "can't take the pay cut"

By GottaLaff

(I believe we had a request for this image)

Earlier, Paddy posted about the 5-minute push for Roger Ailes to run for president in 2012. Absurd notions like that barely register with me, but I guess that germ of a seed of an inkling of an idea made the rounds, and was even taken somewhat seriously. Seriously enough for this, anyway:

It was fun while the speculation lasted. According to Politico, Fox News CEO Roger Ailes "is laughing off the entreaties of some friends and associates and will not run for president in 2012."

Said Ailes: "This country needs fair and balanced news more now than ever before, so I'm going to decline a run for the presidency. Besides, I can't take the pay cut."

::smacks forehead:: Silly me, for a fleeting moment, I thought he was going to say, "This country needs fair and balanced news more now than ever before, so I'm going to start demanding actual news coverage and honest reporting from Fox."

And to think I wasn't even drinking.

VIDEO: Way to go, Teabaggers! 1 Million Tea Bags, No Place to Dump. Why? No Permits!

By GottaLaff



You all remember that wise saying, "Plan ahea...":

But a funny thing happened en route to a visually pleasing Tax Day protest. The National Park Service said the tea party protesters didn't have the proper permit to dump their bags.

So instead of a raucous visual demonstration, all that was left was images of the tea party packing up their boxes of tea on a cold, soggy day in D.C.

Doh!

"We have a million tea bags here, and we don't have a place to put them because it's not on our permit," said Rebecca Wales, lead organizer of D.C. Tea Party. [...]

A local think tank, the Competitive Enterprise Institute, said it would allow the dumping of the tea bags in its 12th floor conference room instead. Not quite the same impact, though.

What else could go wrong? Another protest that was planned for the Treasury Department was also scrapped due to permit issues.

Doh!

Good lord, the concept was inane enough (Here in Amurka, we have taxation with representation now, Teabaggers [!], and guess what? Your taxes are being lowered.), but the implementation is even more laughable than we thought possible.

Yeah, let's trust these clowns to run the government... again.

H/t: WV Democrat

No Joke: Rush Limbaugh Speaking At CPAC 2009

By GottaLaff

"Wow" doesn't even begin to say it. I think I just did a comedic spit-take:

Rush Limbaugh will be the closing speaker at the major Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC) gathering later this month, according to a message distributed to CPAC supporters, further bringing the brash conservative radio host into the forefront of Republican leadership.

A Mecca of sorts for conservatives, CPAC is a forum for political aspirants and activists to make their case to the party faithful. [...]

That Limbaugh would keynote the affair is a telling indication of just how lacking the GOP is for actual elected leadership.

Lacking? How about bankrupt? Desperate? Devoid of? Nonexistent?

VIDEO gag alert: House conservatives say Bush was a "knowing lion" who "walked among us"

By GottaLaff

And thus was the sinkhole of a being named George Bush, whose wisenheimer wisdom doth still touch us the way a cattle prod doth evoke agonized mooage; whose erudition was equal to none but that of Carrot Top; and whose repugnance still reverberates as doth that solitary brain wave in Sarah Palin's vacuous skull...

Reps. Trent Franks (R-AZ), Mike Pence (R-IN), and Steve King (R-IA) last Thursday:

– FRANKS: “President Bush often had to walk like a knowing lion — like a knowing lion, Mr. Speaker, through the chattering of hyenas. … [I]f those critics do not devour themselves in the meantime, Mr. Speaker, they may face the bared teeth of an enemy that will make us all wish the lion still walked among us.”

– PENCE: “I truly believe that this nation owes a debt of gratitude to George W. Bush.”

– KING: “I’m here to say thank you to President Bush for the things that he has done when he’s had his steady hand on the till of leadership, and especially with our national defense.”

At one point, Franks began to tear up when talking about how Bush made the country “brighter” and “more hopeful” for his children. Throughout the 40 minutes, they also compared Bush to Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill.

Let us bow our heads and pray...

Yes, pray, you heareth me correctly; this atheist is resorting to prayer so that we never, ever again haveth another president as loathsome as the wretched George W. Bush. Let that message be echoed from this moment on, so that our children and our children's children can add this particular "knowing lion" to the extinct species list.

Amen.

Holy mother of...

By GottaLaff

"How wrong is this picture?"

The caption is the title of the post below, via Alaskan blogger Celtic Diva:

This was sent to me by a member of "TeamSarah.org" and is an avatar of one of the other members (something about Sarah being a "goddess").

I'm about up to here with religion-gone-wrong.