So this is how the GOP makes money....

By GottaLaff

So this is how they do it:

Help the Republican Party of FL Get Our Money Back!

Click on images to enlarge:



Here's how they describe the painting. These are some hot selling points:

Privately Commissioned, High Quality, One of a Kind, Genuine Oil Painting on Fine Linen Canvas

★Canvas is naturally sensitive to changes of temperature and humidity, just as the Charlie Crist’s political convictions are subject to fluctuations in poll numbers.

★Depending upon variety of conditions, the stretch canvas may periodically lose and regain tautness, much like Charlie Crist periodically loosens or regains positions on a variety of issues.

★Ornate gold frame made of manufactured wood, similar to the fabricated conservative values of the politician depicted within.

Estimated Value – PRICELESS!

(originally commissioned and purchased by the Crist/Greer RPOF administration)

H/t: Taegan

"We are faced with Bush beating Swift Boated Kerry times a few billion"

By GottaLaff

The wonderful Ken Morris* is at it again, jangling our nerves by speaking the scary truth.

Previously, I posted about his rebuffed attempts to get Barbie McLipSchmutz to dine with him via an eBay auction. He did that in order to get her to speak frankly and honestly with him about policy issues.

You can stop laughing now.

This time he ties in the latest SCROTUS decision to a possible 2012 Palin run. ::shudder::

Hint: It's no longer amusing to daydream about her candidacy. More like a nightmare-in-waiting.

The Mudflats has the whole thing (a must-read), but here are a couple of excerpts to tantalize you:

With the Supreme Court positioned to overturn campaign finance laws in the Citizens United vs. Federal Elections Commission case now before it, corporate contributions to federal elections will be unfettered. In other words, Sarah Palin with the help of an unlimited dose of corporate funds might one day be president. Already she has what appears to be a heady stable of influential supporters: Fox News, Rupert Murdoch, Bill Kristol, Lawrence Kudlow, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. In other words, I take her prospects seriously. And, as she has chosen to be a spokesperson for, as she says, “American Main Street,” it is vital that she come out from behind her handlers and speak on the record in unscripted fashion. [...]

Strap her face and image in front of nefarious handlers (can you say, “Dick Cheney?”), record a few easy to remember sound bites (“Pallin’ around with terrorists” or “Joe the Plumber” or “Drill, Baby, Drill”), prop up her fictional Main Street Cred, and keep her off the Katie Couric show. That’s it. [...] In other words, we are faced with George Bush beating Swift Boated John Kerry times a few billion. No restrictions, no limits, no need to bother telling the truth, even less incentive to discuss political philosophy (assuming a candidate has one). Main Stream Media will follow the scent and report on the rumors because they know issues don’t sell ads (especially since advertisers are the ones paying for the production of all those salacious stories).

Now go read all of it. Bring the Pepto.

*Ken Morris, a former Wall Street Executive turned novelist (financial thrillers Man in the Middle and The Deadly Trade), founded Morgan Stanley’s International Equity Department in the mid-1980’s. As a senior capital markets executive, he traveled the world and managed operations in New York, Toronto, London, Amsterdam, Hong Kong, Singapore, Tokyo, and Sydney. His third novel, Evil Shall Break, is currently being shopped to New York publishers. Ken’s offer goes out to Ms. Palin sincerely and in the hopesdialogue might begin to replace rancor and name-calling.

EBay stikes items in Dr. Tiller assassin auction

By GottaLaff

I discussed this on the Radio Machine with Angie Coiro, and originally covered the details in this post, including all the nifty merchandise:

Online auction house eBay said it has begun taking down several items of anti-abortion memorabilia posted to raise funds for the defense of Scott Roeder, who is accused of killing a Kansas abortion doctor.

The company said Monday the items violated its listing policies.

What a shame. These would have made such swell stocking stuffers:

--A Bible once owned by the woman who shot Dr. George Tiller in 1993, later convicted in a slew of abortion clinic bombings.

--A Catechism written auotgraphed by an anti-abortion activist.

Who wouldn't want those displayed prominently on the family room coffee table?

eBay refuses to allow auction for Roeder’s defense fund

By GottaLaff

Earlier I posted the audio of my appearance on Angie Coiro's radio show discussing my post about this very topic. At that time, as of last night, we weren't sure of eBay's position, although we highly suspected it would be this:

“Based on the details we know about the anticipated listings, we believe these would violate our policy regarding offensive material,” the company said in a statement to The Kansas City Star. “EBay will not permit the items in question to be posted to the eBay site, and they will be removed if they are posted.”

The announcement came the same day that Tiller’s family implored eBay to prevent the auction.

“These materials contain hate messages, glorify violence against abortion doctors who provide constitutionally protected medical services, and instruct on means of violence, including bombing, of abortion clinics,” said Lee Thompson, an attorney for the Tiller family, in a letter sent to eBay on Tuesday and approved by Tiller’s widow, Jeanne Tiller.

“We urge you to deny access to the resources of eBay for this reprehensible and vile ‘auction.’ ”

Done. Good. And expected.

"Dinner" for $200,000, Alex. Question: Who's Sarah Palin?

By GottaLaff

The other day I posted about a wonderful writer, Ken Morris, who was rejected by Sarah Palin when he tried to bid on her Big Exciting Self-Serving eBay Dinner for Two. He then offered to donate $100,000 if binky-brain would meet with him and a few impressive dinner companions (see post).

No response. Man, she is a tough nut to crack. Oh, I'm sorry. What I meant to say is that she's nuts.

But there I go getting all caught up in semantics. Moving on...

Since Mr. Morris has heard nothing but the sound of crickets, he has issued yet another generous invitation over at The Mudflats:

How to generate interest from Camp Palin? To that end, if it’s a question of numbers, I’m prepared to up the ante. I originally wanted to post a challenge to the hundreds of readers who have expressed a willingness to contribute to veteran charities if this meeting of the minds came about. My thought was to match public contributions up to an additional $100,000. However, there are many logistical problems beyond my ability to address, so I’ll simply double the offer to $200,000 and suggest to Ms. Palin that there are many people who will add to the total. The $200,000 minimum might well be something substantially larger.

The only change I’d like to make in the original proposal is to add one additional name to the list of potential attendees. As Ms. Palin claimed in her speech that de-regulation and lower taxes would end the financial crisis, it would be useful to invite Paul Krugman. From a recent interview with Rachel Maddow, I gather he isn’t in full support of that economic analysis.

While I’ve not quite matched the reported $300,000 China fee, with public help we might yet reach that level and Ms. Palin won’t have to travel across the world to attend. Best of all for her, the visibility and good will should be priceless. As I said before a win-win and tres cool.

Ken Morris

http://www.financialthrillers.com

Author: Man in the Middle (Best Mystery of 2003)

Author: The Deadly Trade (”Too good to miss!” Minneapolis Star Tribune)

I'm afraid Ken Morris will be disappointed once again. After all, Palin has never considered giving to others-- much less giving in to others-- a priority, so that whole charity thing? Not so much.

All the same, I'll keep my fingers crossed that he succeeds where others have failed. Maybe, just maybe, the idea that someone feels a convo with her is worth 200 grand will appeal to her just long enough to get her to show up. After that, all bets her off, because, after all, quitting is her specialty.

Please read Ken's whole post. He has such a wonderful way with words, and they're all aimed at you-know-who.

Palin auction rejectee/critic issues a $100,000 challenge

By GottaLaff

Remember that lovely Dinner with Sarah Palin auction? You know the one, where she refused to dine with anyone who veered (politically) so much as one hair's width to the left of her (that leaves, what, 90% of Americans)?

One of those rejectees, a very bright, unusually talented one whose pinky has more intellectual heft and curiosity than Palin has in her entire Wasillian dining room table of a brain, is an author named Ken Morris. If you follow the link above, you can read the comment he left on my post.

Mr. Morris posted something wonderful over at The Mudflats. I'll give you a taste, but for the entire meal (he won't reject you), toddle off to this always-fascinating Alaskan blog version of a cozy inn. It's well worth a read and then some:

Dinner Part Two?

[...]

However, I remain concerned over issues I raised when earlier explaining my participation:

There exists an emotional divide in this country that I’ve not experienced since I attended the University of California near the end of the Vietnam War. [...]

Today’s rancor, however, troubles me more profoundly. [...] This period has more the odor of the Civil Rights debate that ripped apart the South during the administrations of Presidents Kennedy and Johnson; a rift that has never been bridged.

How, I’ll ask Ms. Palin, can we work together (“we” meaning not just her and me, but all people on both sides of the political fence) to begin to fix this? I’ll ask her a few questions that might seem harsh, but aren’t intended to offend—after all, we must be honest, no? Do you regret saying several hundred times that our president “palled around with terrorists?” Do you really believe that providing health insurance to all Americans is socialism or fascism or Naziism, or that there are truly ‘death panels’ in these proposals? I’ll likely feel compelled to suggest that she doesn’t, in her heart of hearts, actually believe any of these things (if she does, then this will give her a chance to educate and win me over).

[...]

In the great American spirit of never say die, here’s my challenge: I will donate $100,000 to veterans’ charities for a second dinner with Sarah Palin and four guests, this one on-the-record and taped so as to minimize misrepresentations. In the name of fair play, my list of invitees will include a subset of Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, Thom Hartmann, Oprah Winfrey, James Carville, Randi Rhodes, Arianna Huffington, Frank Rich, Mudflats’ Jeanne Devon, Jane Hamsher and Shannyn Moore. On her side, Sarah Palin may invite guests as well (how about Bill Kristol and Glenn Beck?). The only additional conditions are that the dinner/event last the entire four hours and questions asked are answered and discussed civilly. [...]

This could become a win/win for everyone [...]

~Ken Morris*

What, no invite for me? Kidding, I'm kidding! And kudos for such a creative solution-- with such vast potential-- after having been discarded by someone whose idea of a good time is quitting.

Please read the entire thing here, at Mudflats.

*Ken Morris, a former Wall Street Executive turned novelist (financial thrillers Man in the Middle and The Deadly Trade), founded Morgan Stanley’s International Equity Department in the mid-1980’s. As a senior capital markets executive, he traveled the world and managed operations in New York, Toronto, London, Amsterdam, Hong Kong, Singapore, Tokyo, and Sydney. His third novel, Evil Shall Break, is currently being shopped to New York publishers. Ken’s offer goes out to Ms. Palin sincerely and in the hopesdialogue might begin to replace rancor and name-calling.

Palin Critic Rejected By Auction After Identity Revealed

By GottaLaff

UPDATE: If you go to Comments on this post, check out the one from Ken Morris, the first bidder referred to below. Thank you, Ken! And sadly, I couldn't agree more.

So someone had an extra $63,500 to spare and felt that breaking bread, or mooseburgers, with Sarah the Quitter would be worth a hefty donation to a great cause... if she decided to show up. Rich people have all the fun.

However, behind the scenes, there were a few maneuvers that weren't revealed by our pals on the Tee Vee Machine. It seems S the Q was being awfully picky.

Mudflats has all sorts of fun little detaily tidbits, but here are the basics: Sarah gave herself the out to quit anyone she didn't deem worthy:

The auction rules clearly state that:

Governor Palin reserves the right to refuse dinner with a winning bidder if, in her sole discretion, the winning bidder is not a suitable bidder based on her subjective standards of suitability, professionalism, background and other factors. In the event the high bidder is rejected for this reason, the high bidder’s bid will be refunded, if paid, and the next highest bidder shall be notified, and thereafter, until a suitable match is determined.

She calls it refusal, I call it discrimination. Then again, I'm a flaming progressive who feels compassion for those who get rejected for no apparent reason. Call me crazy.

There were seven bidders total. And we know for a fact that at least two of them were not of the “Palinbot” persuasion. And we know that both successfully passed the “pre-approval” process.

First, there’s Ken Morris - Wall Street whiz, trader-turned-financial-thriller-novelist, whose top bid exceeded $50,000.

His motive for shelling out $50K?

I’ll ask her a few questions that might seem harsh, but aren’t intended to offend—after all, we must be honest, no? Do your regret saying several hundred times that our president “…palled around with terrorists…”? Do you really believe that providing health insurance to all Americans is socialism or fascism or Nazism or that there are truly ‘death squads’ in these proposals?

Ruh-roh!

On to the next doomed bidder:

That brings us to our second candidate, dubbed c***i by the Ebay alias assignment team, and known to those in the outside world as Joe McGinnis. McGinnis, also an author by trade is best known for his books The Making of the President about Richard Nixon, and Going to Extremes, about Alaska, oil and the 1970s pipeline boom. McGinnis is an outspoken critic of Palin, evidenced most recently by his article for Conde Nast’s Portfolio entitled Pipe Dreams, which cast a critical eye on Palin’s handling of the ever-elusive Alaska gasline. McGinniss is currently working on a book whose focus will be the ex-governor herself.

McGinniss, hoping to win the auction had the high bid at one point close to the end. The amount was a whopping $60,101.01, and he was willing to go higher. And then something interesting happened. The Alaska Dispatch came out with a story identifying McGinniss as one of the bidders. When the unsuspecting c***i went to place his next bid in the amount of $60,301.01, he was met with this message:

[...] McGinniss was unapproved, with only an hour to go.

Damn.

So, who did win? Cathy Maples, the owner of a defense contracting company in Alabama. She thinks Sarah Palin is pretty swell, and hopes she gets to be president some day.

Isn't that swell? I bet she's thrilled to pieces that she passed all the tests! Those pesky prerequisites can be so annoying, can't they?

Then again, defense contractors don't have to worry about stuff like, you know, qualifying. Just ask Blackwater Xe.

For the rest of the story, and there is one, go here.

The "divine" Bea Arthur

By GottaLaff

Who are these people who see Jesus in grilled cheese sandwiches, or Mary in a cobweb? I'm lucky if I see a fly in my soup:

A man in northern Idaho says he has seen a massive hand of God in his life, and he is willing to share it with the highest bidder. Paul Grayhek says the “Hand of God” appeared in his backyard in March.

Paul Grayhek, 52, listed the rock formation he dubbed the “Hand of God Rock Wall” on the online auction Web site eBay. The highest bid was $250 early Sunday, with three days left to go in the auction.

Why the hand of God? Why not the hand of Bea Arthur?

I can't top that. Besides, with a commanding presence like Bea Arthur's... well, let's just say she was divine in her own right.

If at first you don't secede, sell Texas on eBay

By GottaLaff

I wish the seller all the sec-cess in the world:

(click on image to enlarge)

Bush's living there may be a deal breaker.

H/t

Sarah Palin fan mistakenly buys effigy with noose on EBay

By GottaLaff

Even Grandma Ditz's fans are brainless, but that's probably due to their diligence in trying to emulate her.

First, they bid on used, malodorous, overpriced high heels, and now we have this ill-thought-out transaction:

The controversial Sarah Palin mannequin with a noose around its neck sold for $2,247.22 Thursday on EBay, but it's not leaving its West Hollywood home.

The auction winner, who lives in Los Angeles County, thought he was bidding on a pro-Palin and pro-John McCain item and didn't realize its true nature until he heard about the auction on talk radio, said the mannequin's seller, ChadMichael Morrisette.

I'd suggest to the buyer to hang his head in shame, but that would be a politically incorrect choice of words.

Sarah Palin's Red Naughty Monkey Heels

By GottaLaff

(click on image to enlarge)

Paddy says the bidding is at about $600 now. What a bargain in this economy, especially for used footwear-- with hearts on the soles worn by a nincompoop with neither heart nor soul.

Turkey slaughtered in Palin's presence sells for $225 on eBay

By GottaLaff

Someone actually paid more than two hundred dollars, at a time when paying off heating bills and mortgage payments tops wish lists across America, for a dead turkey that served as a gruesome backdrop for Oblivious Spice:

A bidder on eBay has paid $225 for the Alaska turkey who was slaughtered on camera as Gov. Sarah Palin gave one of her first televised interviews since her failed run for vice president.

This just proves that headless turkeys attract frivolous turkeys who vote for Alaskan turkeys.

The Triple D Farm sold the turkey to a single bidder on eBay, attempting to cash in on its fame while defending itself from the negative publicity Palin's interview spurred.

"Contrary to what some may believe or have heard we butcher our turkeys in the most humane, fastest and efficient way possible...We also respect Governor Palin for supporting our small family farm," the sellers wrote in their eBay product description. "Fifty percent of the proceeds from this turkey's auction will be donated to our local Department of Veteran's Affairs in support of our troops."

Kudos to Triple D for that last part.

Obama's a hotcake

By GottaLaff

If you ever wondered what Paddy does while I'm posting, now you know. She sends me things like this:

	An eBay member wants to show you this item

Current price:	$10.50
End time:	Jun-26-08 19:41:08 PDT

Yes, $10.50 for a pancake. A Barack Obama pancake. For $10.50.

Rumor has it there's a Bill Clinton ham going for a dollar fifty, a 5-cent Joe Lieberman gefilte fish that nobody will bid on, and a bowl of John Sidney McCain oatmeal that they can't give away.