Time for another Stand-Up Comedy Blog

"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!

Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

Last week was April Fool's Day. Is this a great country or what? BUSH has only been out of office 10 weeks and he already has his own national holiday.

With all those billions of bailout dollars going to GENERAL MOTORS and CHRYSLER the government is now taking an active role in the auto business. PRESIDENT OBAMA is offering hope, change, and if you bring you car to the West Wing you can get a lube job.

This is highly unusual for the government to take this kind of action. The closest the previous administration came to getting involved in the car industry was BUSH using jumper cables to jump-start DICK CHENEY'S heart.

This week PRESIDENT OBAMA was in Europe for a meeting with the major world economic powers known as the G-20 Summit. Or as they're now called, "The Chapter 11 Gang."

After two days of meetings, the only thing the G-20 countries could agree on was that FRENCH PRESIDENT SARKOZY has a smokin' hot wife!

PRESIDENT OBAMA met with the QUEEN OF ENGLAND and as a token of friendship she gave him a photograph of herself and he gave her an iPod. That's quite an unusual gift from the PRESIDENT. Usually he gives out about 150 billion dollars.

Actually, it turned out to be the perfect gift for the QUEEN. Now she can listen to Lil Wayne when she's on the treadmill without anyone bothering her.

The PRESIDENT and FIRST LADY went to Buckingham Palace where they met the Royal Family. There was an embarrassing moment having to do with the traditional curtsy, but MICHELLE handled it quite well. She told the QUEEN she didn't have to.

The postmaster general of the United States said that the post office lost $2.8 billion last year, but they'll make it up by this December. They're expecting such a busy Christmas season they've already ordered a million new "This Window Is Closed" signs.

Well, we're down to the "Final Four" this weekend. Not the NCAA basketball tournament. I'm talking about the last four working banks in the country.

The Jewish celebration of PASSOVER begins this week. No regular baked goods can be eaten during this holiday only the unleavened bread called Matzos. This year the bakers will offer a new variety - whole wheat and bran Matzo fortified with Metamucil. It'll be called, "Let My People Go."

Mazel tov, F.I.L., for another killer set!