Gone with the wind

By GottaLaff

I swear this isn't one of my attempts at pulling humo(u)r out of my... Speaking of that particular unspeakable, this is an actual article from The Guardian, which accounts for the way the term "football" is used:

Referee books Chorlton Villa player for distracting rival with 'ungentlemanly conduct' at key moment in match

The drive to bring good manners back to football has reached new heights after a referee issued a yellow card to a player for "breaking wind" as a penalty was being taken.

Oh deah!

Ian Treadwell, manager of Chorlton Villa for the past eight years, said his team had learnt lessons from the game in which three players were dismissed and two were booked.

"The other player had the penalty saved because it was a bad penalty it was nothing to do with any noise. Not one of their team remonstrated with the referee when the first penalty was taken.

"They were as shocked as we were as to why. We are waiting for the Football Association to contact us after they have received the report."

My word!

Treadwell added that his players' behaviour was "normally exemplary".

"We are not a dirty team and we like to play football. While I won't condone the actions of the players it is an emotive game and some of the players were sent off for entering into conversation with the referee. [...]

Pauline Riley, secretary and treasurer of International Manchester FC, said: "Both teams are very friendly. There's no animosity. It was just hilarious."

Now if we could only penalize the Rushpbulic party for the flatulence emanating from their orifices, that would be hilarious.