By GottaLaff
Obama's hooked. Is there a Blackberries Anonymous in his future?
"Hi. I'm Barack and I'm an E-oholic."
Hi, Barack!
Sorry, Mr. President. Please surrender your BlackBerry. Those are seven words President-elect Barack Obama is dreading but expecting to hear, friends and advisers say, when he takes office in 65 days.
For years, like legions of other professionals, Mr. Obama has been all but addicted to his BlackBerry. The device has rarely been far from his side — on most days, it was fastened to his belt — to provide a singular conduit to the outside world as the bubble around him grew tighter and tighter throughout his campaign.
I bet he says he can quit any time he wants to. They all do.
But before he arrives at the White House, he will probably be forced to sign off. In addition to concerns about e-mail security, he faces the Presidential Records Act, which puts his correspondence in the official record and ultimately up for public review, and the threat of subpoenas. A decision has not been made on whether he could become the first e-mailing president, but aides said that seemed doubtful.
I can see it now: He'll go cold turkey, because he's strong like that. He'll get the shakes... have cravings... suffer from extreme anxiety. And
delirium tremens. One must never forget the DTs.
Maybe, just maybe, with proper medical treatment, some therapy, and a Blackberry patch, he'll have a successful recovery.
Oh no. He's already slipping:
Mr. Obama has not sent a farewell dispatch from the personal e-mail account he uses — he has not changed his address in years — but friends say the frequency of correspondence has diminished. In recent days, though, he has been seen typing his thoughts on transition matters and other items on his BlackBerry, bypassing, at least temporarily, the bureaucracy that is quickly encircling him.
You can do it, Barack! Will power!
Mr. Obama used e-mail to stay in constant touch with friends from the lonely confines of the road, often sending messages like “Sox!” when the Chicago White Sox won a game. He also relied on e-mail to keep abreast of the rapid whirl of events on a given campaign day.
He only goes for the pure stuff. He's hard core:
His messages to advisers and friends, they say, are generally crisp, properly spelled and free of symbols or emoticons.
How will he ever break the habit? Dealers are everywhere, ready to pounce:
He received a scaled-down list of news clippings, with his advisers wanting to keep him from reading blogs and news updates all day long, yet aides said he still seemed to hear about nearly everything in real time. A network of friends — some from college, others from Chicago and various chapters in his life — promised to keep him plugged in.
Even the strongest of us have weak moments:
Mr. Obama has, for at least brief moments, been forced offline. As he sat down with a small circle of advisers to prepare for debates with Senator John McCain, one rule was quickly established: No BlackBerrys. Mr. Axelrod ordered everyone to put their devices in the center of a table during work sessions. Mr. Obama, who was known to sneak a peek at his, was no exception.
It starts with sneaking a peek. Then right to typing a phrase. Then whole paragraphs... with punctuation. Before he knows it, Obama will have fallen right back into that deep, dark e-pit called Blackberrry Hell.
Maybe going into read-only mode will get him back on track? Not likely. He's a full-on junkie:
As his team prepares a final judgment on whether he can keep using e-mail, perhaps even in a read-only fashion, several authorities in presidential communication said they believed it was highly unlikely that he would be able to do so.
Tragic. So what's the answer? How will President Obama break free? Diana Owen, who leads the American Studies program at
Georgetown University,, who has studied how presidents communicate in the Internet era:
“It’s a time burner. It might be easier for him to say, ‘I can’t be on e-mail.’ ”
Say it, Barack: "I can't be on e-mail." Say it, believe it, own it. Yes. You. Can.
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