Poor wittle IWRC* Palin! She's tired of Joe and depressed by the news

By GottaLaff

Get your hankies out for poor, pitiful wittle IWRC*. She needs a shoulder! She not happy! Her minders don't want her watching the news, and apparently god is controlling the polls. Anyone got a lollipop to shove up in her face mouth?

Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin told supporters at a North Carolina fundraiser that her aides discouraged her from watching campaign news because they thought she would get “depressed.”

“At those times on the campaign trail when sometimes it’s easy to get a little bit discouraged, when you know, when you happen to turn on the news when your campaign staffers will let you turn on the news,” she said Thursday night, to laughter from the crowd. “Usually they’re like ‘Oh my gosh, don’t watch, you’re going to, you know, you’re going to get depressed.’

“But yeah, sometimes you do get depressed watching what it is that they’re reporting and the spin and some of the distortion of what our message is and what we stand for, sometimes that, that gets draining,” she added. “But it’s at events like these and our rallies that we are so energized and inspired and we know that we are not alone. We feel your strength and we feel the power of prayer, so many of you tell us that you are praying for us and praying for our country, and that’s why we so appreciate you being here.”

The view isn’t all glum from the trail. “We even saw today, thank the Lord, we saw some movement,” looking upwards and making a fist. Another bright note for her, she said later, was visiting “pro-America” areas of the country.

There are so many things wrong with what she said on so many levels. I don't even know where to begin: With the "anti-Americans" for Obama? With the parts of the country that her own special god condemns? With the distortions that should be attributed to her instead of the evil press?

After 24 hours dominated by the campaign’s latest unwitting celebrity, the Alaska governor conceded she was getting a little tired of talking about Joe “The Plumber” Wurzelbach. “And I, I begged our speech writers, ‘Don’t make me say Joe the Plumber, please, in any speeches.’ And I was asked ‘Just one time, just at this fund raiser.’”

I bet they waterboarded her into indulging them "just one more time". I can't fathom how painful it must be for her to talk about Joe the Bummer, because, you know, lying and distorting are such a rarity in her speeches.

The McCain camp has encountered some playlist difficulties this year: Heart, John Mellencamp, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, Jackson Browne, and the Foo Fighters have all asked that the campaign stop using their songs on the trail. On Thursday, Palin expressed satisfaction with the latest musical selection.

“I don’t think we’ve ever had intro music by AC/DC before. That was kinda cool,” she said. “In fact, we were on the bus today, we were making a list of who are some celebrity singers who could come out and help us and gosh, for the life of us, the pickings were slim there. Who’s quasi-conservative out there in the celebrity land?”

Gosh! Using songs without permission is wrong! Who'd a thunk it!?

This is beyond pathetic. This is laughable. But it will be a whole lot funnier once Obama wins.

*"In What Respect, Charlie?"