By GottaLaff
"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!
Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law. For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
BARACK OBAMA is doing everything he can to win over HILLARY'S 18 million followers. They kissed and made up in a place called,"Unity." He wrote a check to help with her campaign debt. He moved his campaign rhetoric to the center. And last night, as a final gesture, OBAMA was speaking at a rally wearing a pantsuit.I'm here all week. Try the Caviar Helper.
The latest poll shows OBAMA has a big lead over JOHN McCAIN. It's bigger in men, in women, with young people and it's bigger with minorities. The only place McCAIN is leading is, with a bigger prostate.
JOHN McCAIN and BARACK OBAMA have both laid out their energy plans. OBAMA wants enough "green" energy to power the entire U.S. economy. McCAIN just wants enough energy to stay up past nine o'clock.
Oil hit $140 a barrel making it very difficult for the airlines unless they add a fuel service charge to each passenger. Things are getting so expensive at the airport, HARI KRISHNAS were seen putting the squeeze on each other.
At $4.61 a gallon, Californians are driving across the border to fill their tanks. It seems today the only place to get cheap gas is Mexico or "Taco Bell."
The Dow skidded to its lowest point, down almost 20 percent, from its high in October. Legendary investor WARREN BUFFET must be hitting hard times. Last week he was seen in a Safeway supermarket buying "Caviar Helper."
Despite fierce criticism, GEORGE W. BUSH insists he did a great job fighting the Viet Cong during his stint in the Texas National Guard. When someone pointed out that there were no Viet Cong in Texas, BUSH replied, "Sure, now."
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