Vice President Biden needs a new long distance plan

By GottaLaff

Biden: Will someone please get the door? I'm too busy making Palin look like the rank amateur idiot that she keeps reminding us that she is. ... I don't care if it's Cheney coming back to look for his shotgun, I'm on a call here!

Vice President-elect Joe Biden has been holding calls with world leaders to express "his thanks and appreciation for their congratulations on the election," the Obama-Biden transition office said this afternoon.

Tuesday, the future No. 2 spoke with King Abdullah of Jordan, according to the transition team. On Monday day he held calls with:

Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni

Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak

Israeli Likud Leader Binyamin (Bibi) Netanyahu

Polish President Lech Kaczynski

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown

Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair

Afghan President Hamid Karzai

Jill, honey... can you call the fumigator again? Just say, "Cheney". They'll know what to do.

UPDATE: Biden gets a biographer. The editor worked on Obama’s first book, “Dreams from My Father.”