It Is Now Safe to Vote for Obama: He Wore a Flag Pin

By GottaLaff

How could anyone think Barack Obama was qualified to run for president... until now? He has finally revealed his patriotism by ::drum roll:: attaching a brooch to his lapel, one that was most likely made in China. But that little metal symbol has convinced me that, at last, he can be commander in chief. It must also mean he's no longer a Muslim, because the two are linked. Aren't we all relieved?

Wearing a flag lapel pin, Sen. Barack Obama emphasized his patriotism and support for a strong and humane military Monday, while Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton implored West Virginians to sustain her hopes of somehow denying him the Democratic presidential nomination. [...] He used his visit to Charleston to combat critics' claims that he is not particularly patriotic or ready to be commander in chief, in part because he never served in the military, usually does not wear a flag pin, and opposed the Iraq war from the start.

Wait just a durn second there. He was opposed to the war... from the start? Why, that shows -- What's the word again? Oh yeah -- good judgment. And isn't that the last thing we want from a world leader?

Obama broke from his usual practice by wearing the flag pin and reading his speech instead of talking without notes. He told several thousand people at the Charleston Civic Center that patriotism means more than saluting flags and holding parades. He criticized Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain for opposing a Democratic bill to expand education benefits for veterans.

"At a time when we're facing the largest homecoming since the Second World War," Obama said of veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan, "the true test of our patriotism is whether we will serve our returning heroes as well as they've served us."

Barack, Barack, Barack, veterans aren't important. What is important is how well you bowl. You still have so much to learn.

After the speech, Obama stopped at Schultzie's Billiards hall, where he showed greater skill at pool than he had at bowling last month in Pennsylvania. [...] Obama told reporters he will have to consistently fight rumors that he doesn't say the Pledge of Allegiance, among other falsehoods widely spread on the Internet. "This is something that's been systematically fed into the bloodstream," he said. He said he had no idea who is doing it.

I'm still a little wary. I have a hunch he doesn't say the Pledge of Allegiance to his flag pin.