Kim Kardashian: Fox is "a very reputable news channel"

By GottaLaff

Again, thank you for being patient with my abbreviated/light posting today. I'm dealing with major tech issues.

With that:

[Kim] Kardashian claims the only news on in her house is - nope, shockingly not E! - but good old Fox News. She says it's the only news channel on in her home. "It's just a very reputable news channel," she said.

"Reputable." Takes a ClusterFox to know a ClusterFox.

Apparently, Rush Limbaugh bathes in crude oil

By GottaLaff

It's as clear as a bell now. We should never bathe again. I'm sure Boss Limpdong doesn't. Yes, according to him, water's equivalent is a gooey oil gush. Water is toxic. It obviously isn't the oil volcano that's killing wildlife and ruining what's left of our economy:

"The ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and left out there. It's natural. It's as natural as the ocean water is."

-- Rush Limbaugh, quoted by the St. Petersburg Times, arguing that a cleanup of the oil spill off the Lousiana coast is unnecessary.

Using his own logic, the sky will take care of all that smog, and his body will take care of all that fat.

Bill Clinton v. Michele Bachmann

By GottaLaff

The Big Dog growls at Michele:

"They are not gangsters. They were elected. They are not doing anything they were not elected to do."

-- Former President Bill Clinton, quoted by the New York Times, scolding Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) for calling the Obama administration and Democratic Congress as "the gangster government."

I'd reveal the kind of movement with which I identify Michele, but that would be so very unladylike.

Besides, making her the butt of my jokes is so five minutes ago. I'd make an ass of myself if I pushed that hard. My disdain is rearing its ugly head, so I'll refrain. Oh, poopy, I'm running a little behind, so I'll back off now.

Bottoms up!

The end.

Alaska Rep. Don Young on way to DC: Returning to “monkeyland”

By GottaLaff

The Mudflats has a quote from Alaska's Republican representative Don Young as he was on his way back to Washington D.C. And what a quote it is!

This was what a Mudflatter overheard at the airport, and I'm surprised it's not getting more attention:

I flew into Seattle yesterday with Mr. Young. Waiting in line to board he remarked to someone beside him that he was returning to “monkeyland”… I almost lost control when I heard this, but decided to not create a “situation.”

Um... is that what the insiders are calling it these days? Really?


More here.

Dick Durbin: "If you think it's a socialist plot..."

By GottaLaff

We're all socialists now!

"If you think it's a socialist plot, then please drop out of the federal employees health program."

-- Sen.Richard Durbin (D-IL), to Republican lawmakers at today's health care reform summit.

Anyone see any dropouts? No?

I didn't think so.

Summit Quote-O'-The Moment: Size Doesn't Matter edition

By GottaLaff

For months, we've been hearing the Rushpublics whine and cry about the size of the Democratic health care bill. It's too big, it's too small, it's too heavy, it's too light, it's too thick, it's to thin...

Well said, Charlie Rangel:

"I don't think someone in an emergency room is concerned with the size of a bill."

Summit Quote-O'-The Moment: Steny Hoyer edition

By GottaLaff

I jotted this down during the opening statement by Steny Hoyer at the health care summit:

"You agree with [us] rhetorically, but it's not in your legislation."

In other words, you're hyp. O. Crites.

Summit Quote-O'-The Moment: Chuck Grassley's god edition

By GottaLaff

Chuck Grassley:

"I consider CBO god around here."

I thought the word NO was his god.

I wonder who the Congressional atheists are.

Bayhing the GOP a gift

By GottaLaff

Thanks, Ev, you're a real giver:

"If I could create one job in the private sector by helping to grow a business, that would be one more than Congress has created in the last six months."
-- Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN), in an interview with CBS News, giving one more gift to Republicans.

See? Now that he's out, he can do the damage he's always dreamed of. Quite a step up.

There's no appetite for you either, Lieberman

By GottaLaff

This from one of the biggest contributors to the collective loss of American appetites ever:

"I don't think the Senate has an appetite for another such epic, polarized legislative war this session."

-- Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-CT), quoted by the Washington Post, on the climate legislation he's drafting with Sens. John Kerry (D-MA) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC).

Gee, poor wittle Senate can't handle more than one big issue per year? Awww.

Here's how to fix that: Elect senators with stamina, an asset I'm sure Traitor Joe is missing in both his public and private life.

Obama: "I will not leave until my friends in the Senate have completed their work"

By GottaLaff

It would have looked pretty darned bad if Prez O had taken off for the holidays before the Senate did:

"I will not leave until my friends in the Senate have completed their work. My attitude is if they are making these sacrifices to provide health care to all Americans, the least I can do is be around and provide them any encouragement and last-minute help."

-- President Obama, on delaying his planned Hawaii vacation until the Senate passes the health care reform bill.

Of course, "some say" he hasn't provided them with help to begin with. Robert Gibbs begs to differ (per his daily briefings).

Podesta: "I suspect... reconciliation got dusted off"

By GottaLaff

I'm running out for a couple of hours, so I'll leave you with this:

"I suspect musty folders on reconciliation got dusted off this morning."

-- Former White House chief of staff John Podesta, quoted by USA Today, on Sen. Joe Lieberman's threats to filibuster the health care reform bill.

Let's also keep in mind that the reporting on the White House urging Reid to appease Traitor Joe came from Politico.

Sen. Bill Brady (R) used to "take Obama's money"

By GottaLaff

Know when to fold 'em:

"I used to take his money when we played poker. Now he's trying to take mine."

--Illinois state Sen. Bill Brady (R), quoted by the National Journal, on how he misses the "old" Barack Obama.

Reich Quote-O'-The Day: Medicare Buy-In Not the Answer edition

By GottaLaff

You mean it's not?

"If you think an expanded Medicare is the answer, you're smoking medical marijuana."

-- Former Labor Secretary Robert Reich, arguing that the Senate compromise will create "a national health care system that's controlled by a handful of very large corporations accountable neither to American voters nor to the market."

Bachmann Quote-O'-The-Day: Irony is Not Dead edition

By GottaLaff

HairBall McCrazyEyes should stop speaking immediately:

"These people are not connected to reality."

-- Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN), quoted by the Minnesota Independent, on the Obama administration.

Pot. Kettle. Mind-bogglingly delusional.

Laugh Line-O'-The-Day courtesy of Harry Reid

By GottaLaff

Laugh line of the day:

Harry Reid just now on Senate floor during health care debate:

"We've got to start trusting each other."

Who knew he had it in him to be so funny?

The Rushpublics were whining because President Obama met with the Dems, got cranky because they had to kill an hour plotting more obstruction.

The Great FireWall: What the media missed when Obama visited China

By GottaLaff

A must-read piece. Here's my favorite quote:

"Even through a veil of censorship and propaganda, the Chinese people managed a clearer view of Obama's visit than the US media did."

Now go read about why that is true.

H/t: 4lgsgood

Randi Rhodes's excellent Ann Coulter sighting

By GottaLaff

Randi Rhodes on the Radio Machine just now, discussing her observations of Ann Coulter during her excellent Joy Behar Show adventure:

I don't want to say she's too thin, but I wouldn't be surprised if Kinky Friedman hung his hat on her in the Green Room.

The visual burns.

UPDATE- She just popped out with this:

When Coulter saw [Palin], it was like: "Oooooo." It was like a drag queen convention in that Green Room.

Tim Pawlenty: "Thank you, Lord, for my red-hot, smokin' wife."

By GottaLaff

Here's Gov. Tim trying to be Not Mark Sanford and Not John Ensign:

"Thank you, Lord, for my red-hot, smokin' wife."

-- Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R), quoted by the Des Moines Register, channeling Will Ferrell when introducing his wife, Mary, at an Iowa Republican fundraising dinn

You bet he's thanking the lord... that he's not those other guys. Yet.

Rep. John Yarmuth (D - KY): Republicans are "Party of Screw You"

By GottaLaff

Today's Quickie:

While listening to the Stephanie Miller Show a few minutes ago, I jotted down this Graysonesque quote from Representative John Yarmuth (D - KY):

"Republicans have gone from "just saying no" to "just saying screw you."

That was today's Quickie. Was it good for you?