Video- Miss Alaska makes a Palin Joke

Even the other beauty queens are sharpening their knives? Ouch.

VIDEO: Keith v. Palin. Keith wins

By GottaLaff

I need a break from all the disturbing Iran news.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

VIDEOS: Which president deserves to get slammed for joking? Bush or Obama? Hint: Bush

By GottaLaff

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

As promised, here is the Countdown clip of E.J. Dionne discussing those shocking, atrocious, gaffe-y hysterics that President Obama lapsed into, losing complete control and forever damaging his reputation and our very country!

Here's a brain-teaser for you-- Where were the media when the former president [sic] intentionally laughed right up in our faces about this:



Now go read this. It's a great analysis of the whole "punch drunk" circus.

Ratings: President Obama boosts '60 Minutes' to Sunday win

By GottaLaff

Batting a thousand, er, 16.2 million:

President Obama's continuing comedy tour may have contained an ill-advised "joke," but it still boosted ratings for CBS' 60 Minutes on Sunday to 16.2 million viewers, according to early Nielsen estimates. (NCAA basketball bled nearly an hour into prime time in some areas, so CBS' numbers are more approximate than usual.)

Stop the presses. President Obama joked... He wasn't Dead. Serious. Every. Minute... ( "The only thing less popular than putting money into banks is putting money into the auto industry," he joked. Video here. ) ...and laughed! Out loud!

Omg, he lol'd.

Impeach... now!

VIDEO: Ann Coulter v. Stephanie Miller: The "execute for treason" double standard

By GottaLaff

For the past few days, Stephanie Miller has gotten all kinds of hate mail, including death threats (Google it to witness the negative spin), because of something she said on Larry King Live about Boss Limbaugh... as a joke.

Nobody on the panel was fazed because they realized it was said in jest, but apparently some conservative websites took it out of context and put the word out. The relevant snippet starts at about 1:15.

"He loves this attention, and if I could say something tonight that gets me that kind of attention, like maybe Rush Limbaugh should be executed for treason. How about that?"

"If I could say something.. that gets me that kind of attention, like..." Okay? Context. Good. Now check out this response to a question from a New York Times reporter to The Madam's Apple about her upcoming debate with Bill Maher:

In her response, which was written in all capital letters, [Ann] Coulter called the paper the “Treason Times” and said that the Times’ editors should have been “executed for treason” for revealing the Bush administration’s warrantless wiretapping program:

Do you consider yourself as speaking for the conservative movement, or just someone who has attracted many conservative fans? Something else?

I THINK I SPEAK FOR ALL AMERICANS WHO THINK NEWSPAPER EDITORS WHO PRINT THE DETAILS OF TOP-SECRET ANTI-TERRORIST INTELLIGENCE GATHERING PROGRAMS ON PAGE ONE IN WARTIME SHOULD BE EXECUTED FOR TREASON.

Isn't she hilarious? See how she did that? The Madam's Apple threw out a snarky little quip, just like Stephanie Miller's! The tones are absolutely identical. Who couldn't see that?

This isn’t the first time Coulter has wished for the death of people who work for the New York Times. In August 2002, Coulter told the New York Observer that her “only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.”

Double standard much? Meghan McCain was right. And Stephanie Miller deserves a whole lot of apologies... and perhaps a bodyguard or two.

President Obama zings Sarah Palin, with bonus video of Palin... walking!

By GottaLaff

Video of Palin doing nothing more than walking up a flight of stairs to the Big Alfalfa Club Dinner via.

I missed this one-liner. President Obama had a snarkworthy comment about Grandma 2012. Prez O, you are my kinda guy:

To Palin, Obama expressed surprise to see her with such members of the Washington elite she railed against during the campaign. Or, as he termed it in language Palin is familiar with, “palling around with this crew.”

[...] Humorously, Palin aids have said she “will limit her political activity until the Alaska legislative session ends in April.”

Except for dinner at Malek’s house. And the Alfalfa Club dinner. And her trip in a couple weeks to speak at the Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC) conference. But other than THAT, she’ll definitely be limiting it.

Grandma, you are such an easy target. At least move once in awhile.

VIDEO: Vice President Biden slams Dick Cheney

By GottaLaff

Suh-nap! Vice President Biden zings the Nation of Dick during the announcement of the White House Task Force on Middle Class Working Families today. This time, however, I doubt there will be any need for him to apologize.

Biden apologizes to Roberts for oath of office joke

By GottaLaff


Why was an apology really necessary? Chief Justice Roberts blew it, and V.P. Biden had some fun with it. My guess: The vice president's boss made him do it:

An aide to Vice President Joe Biden tells CNN he called Chief Justice John Roberts last week to apologize for a light-hearted remark he made over the flubbed Inauguration Day oath of office. [...]

Several staffers reacted to the comment with groans and laughter, though President Obama, standing next to Biden, did not crack a smile.

An aide to the vice president said Tuesday the two men spoke privately after that comment. “They spoke and had a good conversation,” said the aide, who declined to give further details.

Gramm-pa McCain's aides: IWRC* Palin is a ‘total disaster.’

By GottaLaff

If Gramm-pa's aides had just thought to drop by TPC, we could have filled them in long ago. Harper’s Scott Horton:

HORTON: We’ve got a lot of finger-pointing going on within the camp, and I’d say there’s a pretty broad agreement amongst a number of the senior-most advisors to McCain that the Palin pick is worse than disappointing. It’s a total disaster, as one describes to me. And there is a sort of blame game going on there. […]

I would say the anger and irritation between a number of the senior people in the McCain camp and Bill Kristol is become really acute. … They view this man as the guy who gave them this albatross, Sarah Palin. I think there’s a lot of real anger about it. There’s also recognition that it’s too late to do anything.

Horton said neoconservatives are “now just proceeding to develop Palin as their candidate, as somebody they want to bring up in 2012, as the neo-con favored Republican.”

They'll have a whole lot of developing to do. And how will they get around all her many scandals, ethics lapses, and associations? Oh, silly me. I forgot. All they have to do is lie.

*"In What Respect, Charlie?"

UPDATE, this the candidate they want to groom. She thinks "we shouldn’t worry about government having enough money, the government has plenty of money":

The "honorable" Gramm-pa McCain: "He cursed them so vilely that he was hauled into court on a profanity charge."

By GottaLaff

More excerpts from Make-Believe Maverick, re: his time at Episcopal High School, an all-white, all-boys boarding school across the Potomac in Virginia:

There, McCain behaved with all the petulance his privilege allowed, earning the nicknames "Punk" and "McNasty." Even his friends seemed to dislike him, with one recalling him as "a mean little fucker."
McCain was not only a lousy student, he had his father's taste for drink and a darkly misogynistic streak. The summer after his sophomore year, cruising with a friend near Arlington, McCain tried to pick up a pair of young women. When they laughed at him, he cursed them so vilely that he was hauled into court on a profanity charge. [...]

Before meeting a girlfriend's parents for the first time, McCain got so shitfaced that he literally crashed through the screen door when he showed up in his white midshipman's uniform.

And then there was Annapolis:

When McCain was not shown the pampering to which he was accustomed, he grew petulant — even abusive. He repeatedly blew up in the face of his commanding officer. It was the kind of insubordination that would have gotten any other midshipman kicked out of Annapolis. But his classmates soon realized that McCain was untouchable. [...] McCain dodged expulsion a second time by convincing another midshipman to take the fall after McCain was caught with contraband.

"He was a huge screw-off," recalls Butler. "He was always on probation. The only reason he graduated was because of his father and his grandfather — they couldn't exactly get rid of him."

McCain's self-described "four-year course of insubordination" ended with him graduating fifth from the bottom — 894th out of a class of 899. It was a record of mediocrity he would continue as a pilot.

Some hero, huh?

VIDEO: Gramm-pa McCain's Irish joke

By GottaLaff

Paddy posted about this earlier. Here's the video:

"It was really an insult to a whole nationality to be stereotyped as drunks."
--Seamus Boyle

H/t: Think Progress

Laura Bush says IWRC* Palin lacks foreign policy experience

By GottaLaff

Pickles, Pickles, Pickles, what will the hubby say?

First Lady Laura Bush told CNN Wednesday Sarah Palin lacks experience in foreign policy, but quickly added the Alaska governor is "a very quick study."

Asked by CNN's Zain Verjee if she thought Palin's resume included sufficient foreign policy experience, Bush said, "Of course she doesn't have that."

Of course she doesn't. Unless you include IWRC* Palin's handshakes with those many upon many Fancy Schmancy Dignitaries. I'm sure they transmitted Experience Germs when their hands made contact... unless. Unless! Unless IWRC used Purel post-meet-'n'-greet.

Foreign policy experience: Poof! Gone in a disinfected flash.

*"In What Respect, Charlie?"

Sarah Louise Palin adds singer Bono to her foreign policy resume

By GottaLaff

I guess this means "In What Respect, Charlie" Palin (IWRC Palin) can add rock stardom to her resume, too. This just gets better and better:

Palin will meet with the presidents of Iraq, Pakistan, Georgia and the Ukraine, as well as singer and activist Bono during her three-day trip to New York, the McCain campaign announced Sunday.

Palin will meet Wednesday with Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvilli and Ukraine President Viktor Yushchenko together, according to campaign officials. She will then meet with Iraqi President Jalal Talabani and Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari before hosting Bono, the lead singer of U2. Later in the day, she will meet with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh.

The campaign had previously announced meetings set for Tuesday in New York, including Afghan President Hamid Karzai and Columbian President Alvaro Uribe.

What is this, foreign policy training or a reception line?

If it's Tuesday, this must be Karzai.

And please, for those of us who can't grasp the nexus between foreign policy experience and handshakes, someone explain how meet-'n'-greets contribute to her resume?

Newsflash! Sarah Palin has another hardcore interview! With Sean Hannity!

By GottaLaff

What a brave, tough, wolf-shootin' Oil Mom she is. I've never witnessed a more courageous woman, suffering through all those terrifyingly hardball questions, facing the most upstanding, evenhanded truthseeker on the airwaves: Sean Hannity. What a bold move:

Sean Hannity will interview Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK) next week in Cincinnati, MediaBistro reports. The interview will air in “two parts on Tuesday, September 16th and Wednesday, September 17th at 9PM ET.” Hannity took issue with Charlie Gibson’s interview of Palin, “calling his question on her religious comments ‘out of context’ and ‘totally misconstrued.’” Greta van Sustern landed Todd Palin’s first interview, which will air Monday night at 10PM on Fox News Channel.

Just when you think she can't be more of a joke, she tops herself.

Sarah Louise Palin's military command limited, to say the least

By GottaLaff

Now remember, Sarah Louise has more experience than General Petraeus and Bill Clinton combined, so she's ready to oversee our nuclear arsenal, Russia's nuclear arsenal, and even the global hockey puck arsenal:

When presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain introduced Gov. Sarah Palin as his vice presidential running mate Friday, the Arizona senator emphasized her role as commander in chief of the Alaska National Guard.

Later, when questions were raised about Palin's lack of experience in national or international affairs, the McCain campaign pointed again to her military command experience as governor. Some reporters have tried to follow up. [...]

But the governor has no command authority overseas -- or anywhere in the United States other than Alaska, says Maj. Gen. Craig Campbell, the service commander of the Alaska National Guard.

"When members of the National Guard are federalized, they work for the president," Campbell said Wednesday. "It's not just overseas. They could be federalized to go to other states, or they could even be federalized in the state."

Occasions in which Palin does retain command authority over the 4,200-member Alaska National Guard are whenever the guard responds to in-state natural disasters and civic emergencies, said Campbell, who also serves as commissioner of the state Department of Military and Veterans Affairs.

Some examples?

"We've deployed individuals in state service all over the state under Sarah Palin," he said. "We had defense men down in Seward for the (Mount) Marathon run doing security.

"Out west and northwest we had erosion problems and the National Guard was involved in some of the protection out there. About three days ago, the Army National Guard picked up a lady from Little Diomede ... at the request of state troopers."

Did Palin directly approve each of those activities?

No, Campbell said. The governor has granted him authority to act on his own in most cases, including life-or-death emergencies when a quick response is required, or minor day-to-day operations.

I couldn't be more impressed.

The recent decision to deploy a C-17 cargo plane from the Alaska Air National Guard to Louisiana to assist during the Hurricane Gustav response was an occasion in which he briefed the governor's office and sought its approval, Campbell said. But in that case, chief of staff Mike Nizich signed off on the deployment.

The flooding that occurred in Fairbanks in late July -- in which the guard sent water trucks north to provide clean drinking water -- didn't require the governor's approval, Campbell said.

Wow! I'm... underwhelmed.

Last year, during Palin's first year as governor, there wasn't much action, Zidek said. "Thankfully we didn't have any major disasters."

Former Gov. Tony Knowles:

"I had more military action in one week when I was in the Army as a sergeant (in Vietnam) than I had as commander in chief for eight years," he said.

Maybe she should think about becoming a community organizer.

"If McCain's rape joke could be verified, it would end his campaign"

By GottaLaff

Rachel Maddow just interviewed Ben Smith of Politico about John Sidney McSicko's alleged sense of humor. Smith has a post up about that. I'll tell you what the two had to say, but first, a nostalgic look back at J Sid's interpretation of what makes people laugh, starting with that 1986 evergreen piece of tasteless crap, The Rape Joke:

• "Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape?'"
• "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?" he asked guests at a Senate Republican fundraiser. "Because her father is Janet Reno."
• "The French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it," McCain told Fox News a few years ago.
• And earlier this year, McCain responded to a question with the line, "And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago."
• During his 1986 campaign, he referred to a retirement community called "Leisure World" as "Seizure World."
• "The nice thing about Alzheimer's is you get to hide your own Easter eggs."
• He referred to a young man who asked about his age as "you little jerk," before telling him, "You're drafted."
• He recently condemned by the government of Iran for suggesting that increasing U.S. cigarette sales to Iran could be "a way of killing 'em."
• And the always popular, "Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran".

Rachel was irked that the rape joke didn't get coverage. Ben Smith said that if it could have been verified (McSicko says he doesn't remember telling it, which doesn't do much to bolster his memory creds), it would end his campaign.

Rachel then commented that the unsettling part is that he's "a little sadistic" and she doesn't want a sadistic president.

Too late. We already have one.

Ben Smith's comeback was that the J Sid bunch think that those endearing little gems show him to be not insensitive, stupid, or cruel, but-- wait for it-- "authentic", "real", and "one of us". He's just "McCain being McCain". It's... an asset.

Rachel: "That's a steep hill to climb for marketing."

Tell you what, McSadistic, you little jerk, after you stop beating your wife, you can take your authenticity straight to Seizure World, get bombed and hook up with that marvelous ape.

George W. Bush's tasteless July 4th joke

By GottaLaff

This story was forwarded to me in an e-mail from a trusted friend. She can't verify the story, but strongly suspects it's accurate. So: "Telephone Hour"... or truth? The original e-mail to her, copied and pasted:

4th of July

So a few my friends went to Yale with Barbara Bush (the young one, not the blue suit one) and were invited to the White House for the 4th of July. This is the best story ever. So besides the fact that there were like 50something 25 year olds wasted and smoking in the rose garden, here is what George W. Bush told the "kids" who had taken over the White House:

"He comes outside to say and goodbye and says (in affected southern accent): I have to go to Japan now y'all to visit Prime Minister Yokomotosomethingorother. We are trying to work something out with the Fugarde Indians and figure a peace agreement. We just can't figure out where the Fu- gar- de? (laughs and goes to board AirForce1)

Straight from the horse's mouth to my friends' ears. haha, thought y'all'd like that :)

Seems like tasteless jokes are all the vogue these days. Is there any Republican who respects the office of the presidency any more?

The infamous McJoke about rape

By GottaLaff

Whether you're male or female, rape isn't funny. To me, it's not something you make crass, despicable jokes about. I'm a comedy writer and former comedy club performer. Humor is my life, and guess what, J Sid. I know funny. This is not funny:

I managed to dig up this gem from his [McCain's] 1986 race for US Senate, as quoted in the Tucson Citizen:

Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?’

I find rape jokes are always a sign of class, don’t you?

At the time, McCain’s spokesperson (Torrie Clark, yes, that one) alleged that this was story was some manipulation by the Richard Kimball campaign. Yep, it’s always the other guy’s fault. I wonder if the reporter on that story, Norma Coile, was treated to the screaming phone call that McCain has treated so many local reporters to when they dare write a negative story about him. [Laffy Note: See my earlier post about his treatment of negative press]

UPDATE - Because you demanded it, here is a PDF of the original article from 1986.

First the C-word, then the Rick Renzi punch-out, now this. But he was a P.O.W., so that automatically qualifies him to be president of the United States. Following that line of reasoning, I guess his sense of humor qualifies him to be a clergyman.

H/t: Commenters Clancy and Bucky

PADDY UPDATE- The PDF link doesn't seem to be working, so here is a link to a bunch more links to back up this story.

Mr. McCain? Ticking off Iran with unsavory jokes isn't very presidential

By GottaLaff

Iran isn't too happy with John Sidney McUnpresidential:

Iran's Foreign Ministry has condemned remarks by Republican presidential candidate John McCain that exporting cigarettes could be a way of killing Iranians.

You can read about that little faux pas in Paddy's post here and by watching the video above.

The state-owned English language IRAN daily has quoted ministry spokesman Mohammad Ali Hosseini denouncing the remarks as "inappropriate" and describing McCain's attitude as "regretful."

See, J Sid, if you want to be president when you grow up, it's probably a good idea to, well, grow up. Needling an already irate enemy with jokes about killing innocent Iranians wasn't what one would expect from the candidate with all that foreign policy experience.

Didn't your time as a P.O.W. teach you anything? One would almost conclude that something like that doesn't necessarily qualify you for the job. Aw, come on, that was just a joke.