By GottaLaff

All seven candidates, to varying degrees, competed to be the most conservative, the biggest "outsider," the most opposed to tax hikes, and the most opposed to increased government spending on health care.
"If I wanted to be part of socialized medicine, I'd move to Europe," said state Sen. Kirk Dillard (R-Hinsdale). [...]
Six of the seven candidates said that as governor, they would "opt out" of any new federal government-funded health care plan. Ryan said he'd want to see it first.
But wait! There's more!
Asked what the state could do to prevent disasters such as Thursday's mass shooting at Fort Hood in Texas, most of the candidates talked about better communication with the National Guard and the state's other law enforcement entities. Brady said a law allowing Illinois residents to carry concealed guns "would help to respond to incidents like this as well as the tragic incident that occurred on Northern Illinois University's campus."
Yes! Yes! By all means, more guns are needed to shoot more people who also have guns! What a healthy trend. And speaking of health...
Not only will people lose their lives due to lack of affordable health care, they'll also increase the likelihood of dying at the hands of a fellow gunslinger.
America just keeps on getting more civilized, doesn't it? Do unto others...