TBPNTOTV!!! Final edition edition

By GottaLaff

Yes, it's true. TBPNTOTV!!!* posts will cease to exist as of today, and there will be countless exclamation points forced into retirement.... Unless! Unless Wolf Blitzer's successor, John King Bash King Bash King, hosts a show that proves to be worthy of my patented, award-winning, internationally acclaimed quick-notes. However, this remains to be seen. Mr. King Bash King, you are on notice.

With that, let's listen in on Wolf and his gang-o'-pundits: Gloria Borger, Candy Crowley, and yes, John Bash King Bash King Bash. King.

Wolf: Obama says he's open to new ideas.

Gloria: He got slapped a lot, by Democrats. Obama's saying "we're starting from zero, bring me your ideas." I'm not sure how many great ideas he's heard, but that's what he said.

Candy: They're going to move the figures around... but the figure you have to keep in mind: Obama's popularity. He'll get much of what he wants. He wants a quick discussion, "tell me ... and let's move on."

John: It's dramatic, a smart effort to lower expectations. He realizes he has a huge economic problem. It will take time, money, political capital from his other plans. He has great popularity, but now it will be his economy and it will be his baggage.

Gloria: He's saying it's good for all of us to pass this, with a lot of Republican votes. He wants a real bipartisan package to set the tone, so he's telling Dems to let this happen, stop resisting so much. [paraphrased]

Wolf: No earmarks, says Pelosi.

Candy: Did you ask her for a definition? Because that's where we're headed. There will be things in there that people question, but nobody will slip projects in in the middle of the night.

Wolf: The economy is dire. Unemployment is the highest in 16 years.

John: It could go higher, so Obama, with all his popularity, knows he's in for a minimum of a tough 6 months. He's trying to lower expectations.

Candy: He gets a longer honeymoon than most, the benefit of the doubt. He's buying time.

Gloria: Out of crisis comes opportunity. Go for it all. Do what we want to do on health care, energy, with the understanding that in 2-3 years, we'll have to pay for this. Everyone understands we don't have the money. We can't keep the entitlements [Medicare, Social Security] (!!).

Wolf: Pushes the new show, State of the Union, 9 am Sundays, starring John Bash King.

John: A 4-hour show. Big interviews. Analysis! Going international!! More exclamation points!!! And THE MAGIC WALL!!!! We'll use techonology and we'll get out of Washington sometimes. We'll go talk to other people and see what they think.

Gloria: And you'll be sleeping in, Wolf.

Wowzers! Self-promotion galore!!! 11 years of Wolf out the window, and with him, inane posts like these.

OVPICYMIS!!!**

Obama: We can fix the economy, but it will take time. We tried to explain where we are in the economy, put out a plan that is bold, swift... a jumpstart, to save 3 million jobs, and put a down payment on structural problems.

Bush 43: I'm proud of the accomplishments of this administration. I gave it my all. I did not sell my soul for the sake of popularity.

Bush 41: He was tested like no other president, with 9/11... He passed the test.

*THE BEST [sic] POLITICAL NEWS TEAM ON TELEVISION!!!
**OUR VERY POPULAR IN CASE YOU MISSED IT SEGMENT!!!