Sarah Palin Bombs At Wine Wholesalers Expo

By GottaLaff

We anticipated Winey McJokeBomb's Big Keynote Speech here. We confirmed it here. But we heard nary a first-hand, eyewitness peep about it... until now:

Here comes Palin!

Big hair, white jacket. And now a salute to the "beautiful people working so hard in Nevada."

Heck yeah, I want to speak at this convention! Three bad wine puns in a row: "Going rosé", "stand on a wine box (instead of a soap box)", "in good spirits".

Apparently Todd is in a snow race this weekend. Wow, this woman could have been president. Shudder.

[Editor: What is the crowd's reaction?]

TOTAL SILENCE

For this she gets paid the big bucks.

There is more fun to be had here. Heck yeah!

H/t: Ellen

Palin and pot

By GottaLaff

(via)

Reefy McSoundsHigh doesn't need weed. She's dazed and confused enough without it. On the other hand, pot might help make her appear more lucid, not less. One never knows, does one?

What was my point here? Sorry, I'm on a natural high and can barely put two Twinkies together. .. .. Oh yes.

Considering Reefy's endorsement of the Wines and Spirits that Be, you'd think she'd take Nevadans for Sensible Marijuana Laws (NSML) up on their offer to speak at one of their events. After all, money's money, right?

Did I mention they pay 25 grand?

At Caesar’s Palace on Wednesday former Alaska governor Sarah Palin will deliver the keynote address at the Wine & Spirits Wholesalers of America’s national convention.

Immediately following that speech, Dave Schwartz, the campaign manager for Nevadans for Sensible Marijuana Laws (NSML), will offer Palin $25,000 to deliver a similar address to supporters of a regulated marijuana market in this country.

He makes some good arguments for legalizing marijuana here.

There is no word on what she got paid to speak on behalf of Monsieur Beau Jolais and Mademoiselle Char Donnay. And I bet she didn't know wine was a gateway drink to the dreaded hardcore Alaskan Polar Bear.

Bonus Video! Here are Cheech and Chong discussing why they'd want to smoke pot with Reefy:

Audio- Limbaugh suggests doctor recommendation of "moderation in alcohol intake" means Obama drinks too much

The whole lot of them are trying to make this a scandal. Asswipes.

Palin to address alcohol industry event in Vegas

By GottaLaff

What a perfect match... Although, one would be hard-pressed to distinguish between a Barbie McLipSchmutz drunken state and her normal, er, usual one.

The ClusterFox gig can't hold a candle to this Big Do:

[A]ccording to Craig Wolf, the president and CEO of the Wine and Liquor Wholesalers of America, who announced Tuesday that Palin will keynote the group's annual convention and expo in Las Vegas in early April.

"Governor Palin is a great supporter of America's free enterprise system and understands that industries like the beverage alcohol industry play a key role in driving our national economy. We're proud and honored to welcome her as a speaker," Wolf said in a statement. "We expect she will share with the convention attendees her analysis of the current political environment and her vision for America's future."

Yes, by all means, hang on to every analytical word Barbie also's out of her mouth. Her gift of in-depth, critical thinking is perfectly suited to an industry that depends on the inability of their clientele to walk and talk unimpeded.

Uh-oh. I feel a caveat coming on...

An aide to Palin was not immediately available to confirm the WLWA appearance.

Aide-ing and abetting the quititude. How many times has Babs backed out of an engagement now? 5? 12? 18139312?

Maybe the sweet scent of succes-- um, 80-proof will entice her to commit.

Or a couple of hundred grand.

Study: One Alcoholic Drink Per Day Increases Women's Cancer Risk

By GottaLaff

Great:

A new study involving nearly 1.3 million middle-aged British women -- the largest ever to examine whether alcohol increases a woman's risk of cancer -- found that just one glass of chardonnay, a single beer or any other type of alcoholic drink per day poses a danger.

I need a drink.

Oh Cindy McCain, beauty is in the eyes of the beer-holder

By GottaLaff

While we're on the subject of Cindy McMealTicket:

A group dedicated to legalizing marijuana use is launching a new campaign Tuesday aimed at pointing to hypocrisy in a country that could have as its first lady a woman who made millions selling a substance that's killed tens of thousands of people while purveyors of a relatively harmless herb are imprisoned.

The just-launched Web site DrugDealerCindy.com points to Cindy McCain's position as chair of her father's Hensley & Co., one of the country's largest Anheuser-Busch beer distributors, and it argues that alcohol is more toxic, addictive and prone to inspire violence than marijuana. The site, launched by the group Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation, also features mock "Wanted" posters featuring a photo of McCain, wife of the Republican presidential candidate, and offering a -- wait for it-- $420 reward.

Interesting how intertwined Cindy McBeerWealth is with drugs and alcohol:

"No one seems to have a problem with the fact that a potential First Lady sells a drug that contributes to countless violence and other destructive acts," SAFER's Mason Tvert tells RAW STORY.

They're not out to get Cindy:

Tvert says the group is not targeting McCain out of malice nor for partisan reasons. The aim is simply to point out the disparity between how alcohol and marijuana use are treated as public policy issues.

"Cindy McCain sells millions of dollars worth or alcohol every year" and may go to the White House, he says. "Whereas someone who may sell hundreds of dollars worth of marijuana gets sent to prison."

SAFER is "not against alcohol," Tvert says, it would just prefer marijuana receive the same recognition under the law.

Where's the equal time rule when you need it?