Meet the 2010 opposition

By GottaLaff

I've posted most of the sheer garbage from this nutcase's site, but if you must, and if you're into further masochism, go here. He says is running against David Price (D-North Carolina).

It is truly mind-boggling that not only do racist lunatics like this exist, but that they actually represent like-minded zealots.

He references social engineering, which is ironic since he himself seems to be all kinds of "engineering" gone very wrong.

Allow me to use Hutchins' own words against him:

"The RACE CARD does NOT work, once the IDIOTS are EXPOSED."

Click on images to enlarge:

Remember the Alamo.

H/t: Mark Karlin at BuzzFlash

Feminists are jealous of Sarah Palin, especially Tina Fey

By GottaLaff

Someone get me a box of tissues, because I'm about to laugh so hard I will literally stream tears all over the wine- and coffee-stained Victoria's Secret catalog sitting on my desk. Too much info? Not compared to this Goofus and Gallant comparison of Tina Fey to you-know-who:

Liberal-leaning feminists, especially comic Tina Fey, the 30 Rock star who portrayed Palin on Saturday Night Live, were jealous of Palin. "Palin's sudden global fame rankled those feminists whose own path to glory had been difficult. To them, Palin was less a female success story than she was the beneficiary of male chauvinism," writes Continetti. He holds out Fey and her TV character for special criticism. "It was telling that Fey should be the actress who impersonated Palin. The two women may look like each other, but they could not be more dissimilar. [...]

Palin comes from the I-can-do-it-all school. She is professionally successful, has been married for more than 20 years, and has a large and (from all outward appearances) happy family. And while Fey is also pretty, married, and has a daughter, the characters she portrays in films like Mean Girls and Baby Mama, and in television shows like 30 Rock, are hard-pressed eggheads who give up personal fulfillment—e.g., marriage and motherhood—in the pursuit of professional success," he writes. "On 30 Rock [...] None of her relationships with men works out. She wants desperately to raise a child but can find neither the time nor the means to marry or adopt. Lemon makes you laugh, for sure. But you also would be hard pressed to name a more unhappy person on American TV."

Oh my.

This is comedy gold. Pathetic, unintentional comedy gold, but comedy gold just the same.

Let me see if I can say this slowly enough for the author to understand: "30 Rock" is a Tee Vee show. It's fake. Liz Lemon is a character, a fantasy. So are the women in "Mean Girls" and "Baby Mama".

Tina Fey is an ac-tress. Say it with me, ac... tress.

Her characters' lack of fulfillment are the products of her writers' (and her own) imaginations set down on paper for pure entertainment value. Her "unhappiness" is a story vehicle. See?

Barbie McLipSchmutz, on the other hand, just thinks of herself as real.

There is lots and lots more here.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go set my DVR to record a completely made-up show with completely made-up words spoken by a completely made-up character portrayed by an actress.

Oh, and maybe after I'm done recording one of Palin's speeches, I'll set my DVR for "30 Rock" too.

Now if Palin could only learn to speak...

By GottaLaff

The media is at faulthood therefore who says ethics lapses aren't you know also too Death Panels moreover it's all about me don'tcha know in fact you betcha in any case I think so and how:

If you're looking for a speaker for an event, Sarah Palin has officially signed on with the Washington Speaker's Bureau.

"Known for the meteoric rise that captured the hearts and minds of a global audience, Sarah Palin is a groundbreaker who speaks on her vision for energy independence, national security, fiscal responsibility, health care and small government."

Her new gig should provide laughs galore and new lingual contortions about which to snark. Also.

Headline of the Day

Web petition seeks Nobel prize for Michael Jackson

LDS Church may have posthumously baptized Obama's African ancestors

Oh come the freak on. First his mother and now any damn random relative you can find?

Washington » Mormons have not only posthumously baptized President Barack Obama's mother into their faith, but they may have performed the ritual for the president's African ancestors as well, including his father, grandfather and great-grandfather, according to researcher Helen Radkey.

She has uncovered records in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint's new FamilySearch database that include personalized identification numbers for Obama's relatives, including his father, Barack Obama Sr.

The president's father was Muslim, but later in life became a nonbeliever, according to the family.

Records in the FamilySearch database do not indicate if the "baptism for the dead" ceremony was actually performed in an LDS temple, saying only that the information is "not available."

Radkey, a Salt Lake City-based researcher critical of the practice, provided The Salt Lake Tribune with the documents. Earlier this year, Radkey found records that confirmed the "baptism for the dead" of Stanley Ann Dunham, Obama's mother, who died in 1995, took place on June 4, 2008, in the Provo temple.

"Baptizing Obama's African relatives, or putting their names in the LDS temple system for them to be posthumously baptized, is offensive because it sends a wrongful message that Obama's ancestors were of inferior religious stock," Radkey said.

h/t Ben.

AUDIO: Lou Dobbs says Obama has no proof of a valid birth certificate yet

By GottaLaff

He's a real Lou-Lou:

On his radio show yesterday, Lou Dobbs once again questioned President Obama's citizenship. He repeated the point on his CNN show last night.

Seriously, if this were a valid issue, wouldn't Hillary Clinton or John McCain have raised this during the presidential campaign last year?

Pshyeah.

VIDEO: Todd Palin featured in "How to Be a Man" issue of Esquire. Honest.

By GottaLaff

Suddenly, Todd Palin is everywhere. Now The Mudflats blog shares a video with us, and what a video it is! It's not for the squeamish. And by squeamish, I mean anyone who gets queasy at the thought of anyone in the Palin family being glorified.

The interesting part is, the video is not a parody or a spoof or a joke or a satirical look at the real Toddry Palin or... or.. anything. Honest:

This is not a joke.

I repeat, this is not a joke.

This is not a snarky montage put together by someone who dislikes the Palins.

This is…apparently…serious.

You know how Sarah Palin refused to be interviewed by Joe McGinniss for his Portfolio article entitled Pipe Dreams because he couldn’t guarantee that his portrayal of her would be positive and flattering? It looks like Todd is playing by different rules. Bad move.

“Alaska’s first husband is not scared of you, the cops, or his wife. Get a sneak peak at a week in the life of the ultimate stay-at-home dad, hunter, fixer, and champion snowmobiler right here, then pick up the May issue of Esquire for Luke Dittrich’s full, in-depth profile.” (Via HuffPo)

Yes, the “First Dude” will be featured in the “How to Be a Man” issue.

You can't make this stuff up. And if you did, nobody would take you seriously.

I hear there's a sequel: "How to Cope With Being a Laughingstock".

VIDEO: “Having sex before you are married is just like juggling machetes!”

By GottaLaff


Holy mother of whomever it is people refer to, check this out:

Derek Dye, [is] a “comedic juggler” who uses his skills to teach middle school children abstinence-only policies. Dye tells children lines such as, “Having sex before you are married is just like juggling machetes!” and “Sex before marriage will destroy all of your life’s dreams!” As Amplify Your Voice explains:

Thanks to George W. Bush and a complicit Congress, we currently spend $1.5 billion a year to fund abstinence-only until marriage sex education in our public schools. And yes, that money goes to people like Derek Dye, as he is employed by the Elizabeth New Life Center that received a $800,000 CBAE grant in 2007 to promote abstinence until marriage. His qualifications? A “Bachelor of Fun Arts” from Barnum Bailey Clown College, and an abstinence educator certification that can be purchased for $50.

(via TAPPED)

All my life's dreams, up in smoke. Had I only known! I hadn't realized that my fulfilling and successful careers weren't what I thought they were, and the money I've earned didn't exist.

I wish I'd had my eyes opened by the juggler to what I've always thought was a really good marriage. What a revelation to realize that Mr. Laffy and I have had a miserable life together with our amazing kids in a house located in a swell neighborhood.

Had I only had a clown to advise me about premarital sex being the equivalent of tossing around very sharp objects that could kill or maim me, I would have avoided all those intimate moments of love and affection!

My dreams and aspirations have hereby been retroactively shattered.