Video- Tom DeLay Dances Texas Two-Step on Season Finale of Dancing With The Stars

Sometimes you just need a little Delay booty roll to get the day started.

PhotOh! DeLay gets the boot(ie)

By GottaLaff

Finally, DeLay gets what he deserves:

(Original bootie post here)

DeLay's orthopedic booties

By GottaLaff

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be writing about Tom Delay's bootie. Oh, sorry. Booties.. plural. Whew!

Now I can continue in peace:

It’s the end of the road for Tom DeLay.

I'm likin' this post more and more every second.

Sources tell PEOPLE that the former Republican House Majority Leader will withdraw from Dancing with the Stars on Tuesday’s live results show due to stress fractures in both of his feet.

Both of his left feet, they mean.

He was going to beg off, despite doctor's orders, but thought the better (or worse) of it:

“What’s a little pain when we can party?”

Story of his life.

They’re starting to tell me I shouldn’t have done this,” he said of his feet, which were dressed in orthopedic booties after the show. “I ice them. I’ve got a bone stimulator machine that I put on them.”

::double, triple, quadruple take:: I beg your pardon? Whaaa? A "bone stimulator machine"? Is that what they call it on DWTS?

Poor ol' Tom. Now we know why he needs that orthopedic bootie... size small.*

*Yes, I specialize in sophomoric humor. Especially when obvious straight lines scream for it.

VIDEO- Jon Stewart on Tom DeLay: "That guy must watch a lot of porn"

By GottaLaff

If you missed this last night, here you go. Another gem:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Moral Kombat
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

Video- Tom DeLay makes dancing debut

Holy crapola, it's worse than I could have imagined.

DeLay's daughter drums up votes before his 'Dancing' debut

I've never voted in one of these things, but I think I just might start. I saw some of the vid of Delay practicing, and it just might be worth it in giggles.

(CNN) — Tom DeLay, a one-time House Majority Whip, now has a vote counter of his own.

DeLay's daughter, Dani DeLay Ferro, blasted out an e-mail Monday in an effort to drum up votes for her father just as he is set to make his debut on the reality show "Dancing with the Stars" Monday night.

"[I]t's time to watch and vote!!," Ferro writes in the message. "The judges score is only half the overall score, our votes are the other half."

The daughter of the former Republican congressman offered multiple ways that recipients of her message can cast their votes during and after Monday night's show, adding: "Dad is really counting on us so now's a great time to show your support!!"

The e-mail was sent to friends, family, and the former lawmaker's political supporters, Ferro told CNN in an e-mail message.

Ferro isn't the only one excited about Monday night's premiere.

"I can't wait to show you my Cha Cha tonight,"** DeLay wrote Monday morning on the micro-blogging site Twitter, "We are ready. My foot is better. Life is sweet."

**This may be one of those nightmare phrases that will haunt me...

Tom DeLay Injured While Rehearsing for Dancing with the Stars

By GottaLaff

This'll teach him to drink and dance less than a week before the show. Looks like Dancing With the Felons will have to provide him with another brace:

The Texas politician, who was injured during a rehearsal with pro dance partner Cheryl Burke, posted a message to Twitter Tuesday that reads, “Old age is catching up to me. May have a stress fracture in my foot. No worries, it’ll take more than that to keep me off the dance floor.”

What next, "Crawling With the Stars"? "Limping With the Stars"? "Death Panels With the Stars"?

Doctors will determine if he can continue on the show, which kicks off Monday, Sept. 21 on ABC.

In an update Tuesday afternoon, the former Congressman tweeted, “No stress fracture. It’s a pre-stress fracture. I live for another day.”

If that's anything like a pre-existing condition, he's in deep doodoo. Hic!

H/t: phive0phor

VIDEO: Tom Delay On Dancing With The Stars

By GottaLaff



Oy:

As the promo shows, former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-TX) will be on the new season of Dancing with the Stars.

Moving to the left? Or moving to the Flat on His Ass/Face (same thing)?

Dance partner: Tom DeLay is "a gentleman", "very interesting conversationalist"

By GottaLaff

Original Dancing With the Felons photo post here.

Some gentleman. Two-time Dancing With the Stars champion Cheryl Burke:

"Tom is a gentleman and clearly devoted to his family," she told TPM in an email. "He's also a very interesting conversationalist."

Indeed! Like when he converses about, say, President Obama's birth certificate or that town hall where protesters "brought quadriplegics in on gurneys and dumped them on the floor in front of my podium."

"I think that so far Tom has been pretty much on par with the other celebs I've taught in terms of their learning abilities," Burke said. "Ballroom dance isn't easy and so far Tom has been really patient with himself, which is important to getting things accomplished. I think that for a 62- year-old man who hasn't danced in 20 years he's doing a great job."

Well, I guess he eventually had to not completely suck at something.

Photos: Dancing with the Felons starring Tom DeLay

By GottaLaff

His partner is Cheryl Burke. I hope he was sober enough that poor Cheryl didn't have to keep picking him up off the floor.

I wonder if he waved his dancin' shoes in front of her face first... like he did with Chris Matthews on Hardball.

His own slimmer waistline can be attributed to the personal trainer he's been using to prepare for the show. In one picture, DeLay is sporting a harness of sorts, presumably as a way to improve his posture and positioning.

Personal trainer = A.A. sponsor. Shhhhh. (kidding)

Harness = Only way to keep himself upright. (not kidding)

This one deserves a Captionary:

Your turn. Go for it in Comments.

Now it makes sense

"Dancing With the Stars:" Seven New Contestants Have Rap Sheets

New 'Dancing With the Stars' cast includes Tom DeLay

Oh my hellzapoppin' freakazoid wow. I may have to force myself to watch.

NEW YORK – Former Republican Majority Leader Tom DeLay will join 15 celebrities from the worlds of entertainment and sports in kicking up their heels on the new season of "Dancing With the Stars.

Other hopefuls include entertainer Donny Osmond; singers Mya, Macy Gray and Aaron Carter; actors Melissa Joan Hart, Debi Mazar and Ashley Hamilton (son of George); models Joanna Krupa and Kathy Ireland; reality stars Kelly Osbourne and Mark Dacascos ("the Chairman" on Food Network's "Iron Chef America"); mixed martial artist Chuck Liddell; professional snowboarder Louie Vito; Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin; former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin and the 62-year-old former congressman from Texas.

(No) Dancing with Cindy McCain

By GottaLaff

, there was a very confused, very desperate, very hypocritical candidate for president. His name was John McCain, but all the villagers knew him as Gramm-pa, due to his association with a man of very little brain named Phil Gramm.

Grammps, whose mental stability and judgment were often in question, flaunted his wife in front of a throng of bikers in August of 2008, offering her up as a contestant for "the next Miss Buffalo Chip"... and all the, er, titillating perks that the title toplessly encompassed.

As time went on, Grammpa John grumbled and mumbled and mumbled and grumbled to himself, "That was one embarrassing mistake I'll never make again." Grammpa John was a very wise (as well as wizened) old man for having seen the error of his ways. He learned his lesson, and he learned it well:

SEN. John McCain might regret choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate, but an even worse decision will deprive his fellow Americans of what would have been the best season of "Dancing With the Stars" ever. Our impeccably placed source says, "Just before Thanksgiving, Cindy McCain started talks with producers to appear as a dancer on the show. She wanted to do it very badly." But this week, Sen. McCain "put the kibosh on it." Reps for the show and McCain didn't return calls.

The moral of this tale: One must only pimp one's wife out when one is running for the highest office in the land.