VIDEO- The real War on Christmas: Jesus shoots Santa in display

By GottaLaff

Seasons greetings, Bill O'Reilly! You know how you always seem to be blaming evil liberal Commies for the so-called War on Christmas? The one in which the words "happy holidays" are the weapon of choice? I still haven't figured out what war that is exactly... but I did stumble across a showdown between Jesus and his former colleague Santa. Thought you might be interested.

So will Bill-O and friends condemn Jesus for gunning down Kris Kringle? Or will they stand by J.C.'s Second Amendment rights and call it self defense? Killing Rudolph would have been more acceptable. After all, he's only a reindeer, and hunting is A-OK with most folks, right? But running him over? Scandalous.

Oh, but I kid the Bill-O.

Seriously, what kind of "creative" mind comes up with brutal faux Santacide as appropriate front yard art?

Jesus Christ, you have the right to remain silent... night:

A Christmas display featuring Jesus shooting Santa Claus and a run-over Rudolph is riling some residents of a California neighborhood, KCOY-TV in Santa Maria, Calif., reported. Homeowner Ron Lake said his Christmas display in Nipomo is an expression of his repressed creativity, and that Santa represents the commercialism of Christmas.

Let's not forget that whole First Amendment thing, either. In this case, it's very disturbing, unpleasant freedom of speech.

Well, at least per Ron Lake, we now know what Jesus would do.

PLEASE NOTE: I REMOVED THE VIDEO because it was doing that autoplay thing. You can find it here.

Man gets 36 months for Internet threats to assassinate Obama

Finally, one of the crazies that makes sense. /snark

A Wisconsin man who professes to be the second coming of Christ was sentenced Friday in federal court in Jackson to 36 months in prison for making Internet threats to assassinate then-President-elect Barack Obama.

In a nearly daylong sentencing hearing, Steven Joseph Christopher, 42, said at one point in court, "I'm not crazy."

He was living in Brookhaven in January when he made the Internet threat against Obama, about a week before the president was sworn into office.

Christopher admitted making the threat, but said he never had any intention of harming Obama. He said he made the threat to gain attention for his cause that he is the second coming of Christ and the Apocalypse is coming in 2012 and much of the world will be destroyed.

When U.S. District Judge Henry Wingate asked him what he thought his sentence should be, Christopher replied, "I think I should be let go. I want to meet with President Obama."

"I am the Christ, the returned Christ. I'm asking you to look at my heart. I think you (Wingate) are an honorable man and I hope you will see that I'm the Messiah and kiss me on the head."

Doonesbury: Jesus' Birth Certificate edition

By GottaLaff

Oh, Garry, you scamp:

(click on image to enlarge)

Praying for firearms: Church to hold gun service, would "nauseate Jesus"

By GottaLaff

Nothing says Christian family values, peace, and sweet Jesus love like church-sanctioned ownership of firearms and blood-spattered images proselytizing same:

A Valley Station Road church is sponsoring an "Open Carry Church Service" in late June, encouraging people to wear unloaded guns in their holsters, enter a raffle to win a free handgun, hear patriotic music and listen to talks by operators of gun stores and firing ranges.

Pastor Ken Pagano of New Bethel Church said the first-time event is "basically trying to think a little bit outside the box" to promote "responsible gun ownership and 2nd Amendment rights."

The event, slated for late Saturday afternoon, June 27, is being promoted with online posters, including one using a red font resembling splattered blood with the words: "Open Carry Church Service."

Pagano said the poster wasn't intended to glorify bloodshed and that the lettering was just "a font that somebody developed."

Well then, a-f'ing-men and hallelujah! Freedom of Font!

"There are people who own firearms and do so responsibly and enjoy them as a sport, maybe like golfing or bowling."

Or shooting OB-GYNs. And no, I am not against gun ownership. I'm against murder.

Some worry about the message that is being sent.

"Even if I were perfectly comfortable with open-carry handguns or gun rights, it seems to me a completely whole other thing to connect those rights to Jesus Christ," said the Rev. Jerry Cappel, president of the Kentuckiana Interfaith Community, a coalition of local leaders from various religions.

Tying in the event "with one who explicitly called us to put down the sword and pick up the cross and love our enemies and turn the other cheek, it just makes no sense," he said.

Gee, ya think?

The Rev. Nancy Jo Kemper of Lexington, who has lobbied against laws such as one allowing citizens with permits to carry concealed weapons, said the event "would nauseate Jesus."

I can relate.

Pagano said the event was planned several months ago — long before Sunday's shooting death of an abortion doctor at his Kansas church refocused attention on, among other things, churches and guns. [...]

Pagano said a major impetus for the event was concern among many gun-rights advocates about then-presidential candidate Obama's legislative record in favor of some firearms restrictions — despite Obama's attempt to reassure gun owners.

So-o-o, a church went all political on us. Again.

I wonder if Jesus would have run for office. My feeling is that he'd be one hell of a fundraiser.

The next Rick Warren controversy: The inaugural prayer

By GottaLaff

Here we go again. If Rev. Rick prays in the name of Jesus, we could be in for a few more weeks of in-fighting, troll comments, and cable TV free-for-alls:

At George W. Bush's 2001 swearing-in, the Revs. Franklin Graham and Kirbyjon Caldwell were criticized for invoking Christ. The distinctly Christian reference at a national civic event offended some, and even prompted a lawsuit.

Warren did not answer directly when asked whether he would dedicate his prayer to Jesus. In a statement Tuesday to The Associated Press, Warren would say only that, ''I'm a Christian pastor so I will pray the only kind of prayer I know how to pray.''

''Prayers are not to be sermons, speeches, position statements nor political posturing. They are humble, personal appeals to God,'' Warren wrote. His spokesman would not elaborate.

I'd pray that he just goes away, but that one wouldn't be answered any time soon.

Evangelicals generally expect their clergymen to use Jesus' name whenever and wherever they lead prayer. Many conservative Christians say cultural sensitivity goes way too far if it requires religious leaders to hide their beliefs.

The Rev. Joseph Lowery, a United Methodist who is considered the dean of the civil rights movement:

''[W]hatever religion the person represents, I think he has a right to be true to his religion.''

Three words: Can. O'. Worms. Anyone else wish this would just go away? Hands?

Leaders of other traditions with experience in interfaith work said they respected Christians who felt strongly that they should pray in Christ's name.

But they argued that a request for some modification is reasonable for a presidential inauguration, considering it's an event representing all Americans. [...]

Rabbi Burt Visotzky, a professor at the Jewish Theological Seminary, the flagship institution of Conservative Judaism, said he invokes ''God'' for interfaith prayer.

''I know that for Christians, Jesus is part of their Trinity,'' said Visotzky, who has taught at Pontifical Gregorian University in Rome and at Protestant seminaries in the U.S. ''For me as a Jew, hearing the name of a first-century rabbi isn't the worst thing in the world, but it's not my God.''

Rabbi Burt sounds a little like my grandma. I wonder if he makes good knaidlach.