CPAC: Rush Limbaugh's autoeroticism

By GottaLaff

Dear Leader Oxy LimpDong is so clearly infatuated with himself, I fully expect that he calls out his own name in the unlikely event that his Viagra takes hold. I am currently watching the Tee Vee Machine's airing of his CPAC speech (Speech? No, masturbation) as he explains "who we conservatives are" in his "first national address to the nation" (We'll post video asap):

"We love people."

Ohhh, you mean these people?

He also says, to screams and applause, that they "love our founding documents." That's so obvious. How'd we miss that?

"We conservatives think they're [founding documents] under assault."

Screams, cheers, standing O, fists in air, shrieks of approval. No, I'm not kidding.

"We don't want to tell anyone how to live."

Oh really? Really?

"We don't hate anybody... The racism in our culture was exclusively on display in the Democrat primary last year. It was not us..."

"We didn't ask if Barack Obama was authentically black."

"The racism, bigotry, sexism we were all charged with doesn't exist on our side."

Um:

Coulter on Obama: "It's shocking that ... he's probably going to be our next president, President Hussein." His "first big accomplishment" was "being born half-black... he wouldn't be running for president if he weren't half-black."

Er.

Ummmmm.

How could we have misjudged these people from the Drug Rehab Centers? Oh yeah. Here's how.

It's so easy to debunk hypocritical, uncouth gasbags like Oxy as they flatulate volumous clouds that their needy, mouth-breathing groupies voraciously inhale.

The links in this post took me all of 5 minutes. I'd go on, but I'm betting you can all Google as well as I can.