Birther Email Uses Fake AP Story To Question Obama’s Citizenship

By GottaLaff

Grasping reality was never the birthers' strong suit:

A phony new email chain letter — one of the antiquated viral sort leftover from the AOL era — is claiming that the case against President Barack Obama’s citizenship has reached the Supreme Court, based on a forged and typo-riddled Associated Press “report.”

If it's anything like this e-mail, then the typos are the norm rather than the exception.

The message claims that college records of Obama’s from Occidental (under the name Barry Soetoro) prove he was receiving aid as a foreign student from Indonesia. But there’s one problem: the “AP” can’t seem to figure out where to put periods, commas or capitalization. Well, maybe there’s more than one problem.

“Justice Antonin Scalia announced that the Supreme Court agreed on Tuesday to hear arguments concerning Obama’s legal eligibility to serve as President in a case brought by Leo Donofrio of New Jersey,” the report’s third paragraph begins. Talk about burying the lede. There is also the completely unsubstantiated claim that “Obama has spent upwards of $950,000 in campaign funds in the past year with eleven law firms in 12 states for legal resources to block disclosure of any of his personal records.”

There's more, including the full text of the e-mail. Go here for teh birther stupid in all its entirety and glory.

They can't even concoct a decent lie properly. Come on, if you're going to spread rumors, at least make a minimal effort to make them appear credible.

George Bush finally speaks... if you can call it that

By GottaLaff

Boy Georgie finally followed the Nation of Dick's lead (what else is new...) and spoke about the Big Torture Issue. But wait, there's more! I posted earlier that he was only answering pre-screened questions, but... wait for it... he took a right turn and went all improv on us:

Former President George W. Bush on Thursday repeated Dick Cheney's assertion that their enhanced interrogation program was legal and garnered valuable information that prevented future terrorist attacks.

In his largest domestic speech since leaving the White House in January, Bush told an audience in southwestern Michigan that after the September 11 attacks, "I vowed to take whatever steps that were necessary to protect you."

Hear that? We're safe because of him! Boy Georgie saved America! Huzzah!

"The first thing you do is ask, what's legal?" he said.

...and then you do the opposite ::best Boy Georgie laugh, heh heh heh::

"What do the lawyers say is possible? I made the decision, within the law, to get information so I can say to myself, 'I've done what it takes to do my duty to protect the American people.' I can tell you that the information we got saved lives."

Um, what "the lawyers said was possible"? That stuff was like, you know, illegal. They concocted all that legality. You got that?

I didn't think so.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Big Surprise! ::drum roll::

The format of the speech was changed at the last minute when Bush decided to answer questions directly from the audience members, instead of responding to pre-submitted questions provided to a moderator.

That's a first. He must have loosened up a little. He must be feeling less pressured. He must be drinking.

Bush was asked what he thinks about conservative pundits who claim the Obama administration's fiscal policies are opening the door to socialism.

"I've heard talk about that," he said.

Someone must have read the newspaper to him again. That would make, what, twice now?

"I think the verdict is out. I think people are waiting to see what all this means."

Translation: He doesn't understand what any of it means.

The former president earned a noisy standing ovation when asked what he wants his legacy to be.

"Well, I hope it is this: The man showed up with a set of principles, and he was unwilling to sacrifice his soul for the sake of popularity," he said.

Translation: He showed up with barely a whiff of principles (if that), but left them at the White House door; he has no soul, so there was nothing to sacrifice; his poll numbers were too low to even register on a bar chart.

And with that, he collected his fee and scootered on home.