"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!
Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law. For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
After much behind-the-scene negotiations, the Senate slashed $110 billion from the economic stimulus plan. PRESIDENT OBAMA says, "That's okay. The government will no longer need the $110 billion once everyone in my Cabinet pays their back taxes."
It looks like many of OBAMA'S cabinet picks attended the "WESLEY SNIPES School of Taxpaying."Put your hands together for the F.I.L.! Clapping might warm them up.
Last week the Republican National Committee elected their first-ever African-American chairman. Black Republicans said they were thrilled. Both of them.
It was another week of bad news for the auto industry. TOM DASCHLE, his car, and his driver are out of work.
Venezuelan president HUGO CHAVEZ is celebrating his 10th year in power. Political pundits say he has the next election all locked up. Along with most of his opponents.
Former Vice President DICK CHENEY, turned 68. If you haven't gotten him a gift yet, I understand he's registered at "Artery Barn."
At CHENEY'S party they played his favorite game, "Pin The Blame On A Terrorist Attack."
There was an embarrassing moment at the party. GEORGE BUSH arrived disguised as the former president.
Last week was Groundhog Day and Ponzi schemer BERNARD MADOFF called the legendary "Punxsutawney Phil" and asked, "How did you get out of YOUR hole so easily?"
The former Governor of Illinois came out of his house, saw his shadow and said, "Oh, God, this means another six weeks of BLAGOJEVICH jokes."
At the Grammy Awards JESSICA SIMPSON was a smash hit in her $4000 gown. The moral? "It takes a lot of money to look cheap."
MARIAH CAREY had such a low cut outfit on, when she started her interview on the red carpet my eyesight was 20-20. By the time she finished it was 36-D.
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