By GottaLaff
Stop me if you've heard this one before. Okay, see, there was this fraudulent war that turned into an illegal occupation. No, no it gets better. There were this guy named Obama who was against this cosmic roto rooter into our collective psyches, but he got ridiculed by this bunch of thugs we'll call BushCo and Friends. In fact, a lot of us got laughs for the same thing, by a bunch of pseudo-patriots. Are ya with me so far? Good.
Okay, so here's the set-up for the punch line. See, after five years and over 4,000 deaths, finally... finally... there was an agreement. You remember the one: between Iraq and the U.S. The one that gets us out of there by 2011, the one that stops our family members from getting their heads blown off. Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
Well, a crazy thing happened. Oh, this'll knock your socks off. What a freakin' riot. In fact, my stomach hurts already, but not from laughing, because, see, this is no joke:
“Shiite legislators could barely conceal their delight” at the agreement, and noted that “they referred to the pact as the ‘withdrawal agreement.’” As proof of its determination to a firm withdrawal date, the Iraqi government even required that the U.S. “scrap the language that would have allowed the American troops to stay beyond 2011 if Iraq requested.”Iraqi officials made it perfectly clear that they would take the withdrawal agreement seriously:
– Iraqi government spokesman Ali al-Dabbagh: “The total withdrawal will be completed by December 31, 2011. This is not governed by circumstances on the ground.”
– Deputy parliament speaker Khalid al-Attiya: The “Americans have responded positively on two important amendments. The first one is the Americans should withdraw from cities and suburbs on June 30, 2009, and the second one is that Americans should leave Iraq in 2011.‘”
What a set-up, huh? Abbott couldn't have set up Costello any better. Trouble is, there's no payoff. No punch line. The joke's on us.
The Pentagon, however, seems to view things differently. Joint Chiefs Chairman Adm. Mike Mullen said today that he still supports “conditions-based” withdrawal only, and indicated that the agreement could always change long before 2011.You really killed 'em with that one, Mullen.
Literally.
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