"What’s good for the womb is good for the wiener"

By GottaLaff

My new pal Shannyn Moore just wrote up a terrific post about the Stup(id)Pak anti-abortion amendment that is a must-read. She asked me for my take on it, and well, it was more of a spit-take. I giggled all the way through it, despite its serious message. She clearly had a, er, ball with it.

Here are a few excerpts, but then, please go read the rest:

The political cross-dressers, also known as “Blue Dogs” not only authored, but voted for the Uterus Police.

The Stupak Amendment ensured no federal funds, or federally funded insurance companies would be used for abortions. [...]

What’s good for the womb is good for the wiener.[...]

You may have seen the ads on TV. America has worked hard to overcome our epidemic of erectile dysfunction (E.D.). Apparently, a blue pill and side by side bath tubs help. Every pregnancy, wanted or unwanted, is a direct result of a man rising to the occasion and saluting their power over gravity. [...]

We have to nip this in the pud. The same members of Congress who voted against the financial stimulus package would be hard pressed to vote against the stimulating more local packages. [...]

The suggestion coming out of Washington is for women to buy supplemental insurance to cover an unwanted pregnancy. Really? Should the other gender do the same? Should the American people pay for personal erector sets? Shouldn’t E.D. medications be considered an out of pocket expense? To use their language, erections have consequences. [...]

As for Congressman Stupak and your “C Street Family Fraternity”; some advice: if you don’t have a vagina, perhaps you ought not to write or vote for such an invasive and offensive amendment. You’re from the wrong district.

Excellent work, Shannyn. Your double entendres will be hard to top, but I'll give it a go:

The shortcomings of this amendment make even the best of us go limp. And let's not get too cocky about it's demise. That would be premature. It may have more endurance than we suspect. In fact, the Dems better not blow this one, or act like pussies... again. This amendment is red meat for the Rushpublics, so we have stiff competition. No more dicking around, we need to defeat this amendment once and for all. We need to come on hard. You know what they say... "spare the rod..."

Bygones.