U.S. Chamber of Commerce seeks "Scopes-like" hearing on global warming

By GottaLaff

Okay, okay, I have to admit, I've had my doubts about evolution. Why? Why would a liberal Commie pinko Marxist Socialist Fascist such as myself say something like that? George W. Bush, Michele Bachmann, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Michelle Malkin... you get the idea. With specimens like those, the theory of evolution is pretty easily disputed.

However, despite my misgivings, and as much as I long--no, desperately and tearfully yearn-- for a universal group hug with all those well-meaning, patriotic, even-handed, open-minded, scientifically oriented, intellectual Rushpublic mental giants [please note the dripping sarcasm here], I draw the line at this:

The nation's largest business lobby wants to put the science of global warming on trial.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, trying to ward off potentially sweeping federal emissions regulations, is pushing the Environmental Protection Agency to hold a rare public hearing on the scientific evidence for man-made climate change.

Chamber officials say it would be "the Scopes monkey trial of the 21st century" -- complete with witnesses, cross-examinations and a judge who would rule, essentially, on whether humans are warming the planet to dangerous effect.

"It would be evolution versus creationism," said William Kovacs, the chamber's senior vice president for environment, technology and regulatory affairs. "It would be the science of climate change on trial."

How can such clear-thinking, sensible, unbiased, America-First, family values Rushpublic folks meander so easily into the Land of Wrong? Why, I may now have to rethink my inclusive bipartisan outreach efforts.

The goal of the chamber, which represents 3 million large and small businesses, is to fend off potential emissions regulations by undercutting the scientific consensus over climate change. If the EPA denies the request, as expected, the chamber plans to take the fight to federal court.

The EPA is having none of it, calling a hearing a "waste of time" and saying that a threatened lawsuit by the chamber would be "frivolous."

EPA spokesman Brendan Gilfillan said the agency based its proposed finding that global warming is a danger to public health "on the soundest peer-reviewed science available, which overwhelmingly indicates that climate change presents a threat to human health and welfare."

Environmentalists say the chamber's strategy is an attempt to sow political discord by challenging settled science -- and note that in the famed 1925 Scopes trial, which pitted lawyers Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan in a courtroom battle over a Tennessee science teacher accused of teaching evolution illegally, the scientists won in the end.

The chamber proposal "brings to mind for me the Salem witch trials, based on myth," said Brenda Ekwurzel, a climate scientist for the environmental group Union of Concerned Scientists. "In this case, it would be ignoring decades of publicly accessible evidence."

The Chamber of Comatose has also gotten just a tad defensive over Henry Waxman's efforts to "get large amounts of potentially embarrassing financial information from health insurance companies." What a touchy bunch they are.

The proposed finding has drawn more than 300,000 public comments. Many of them question scientists' projections that rising temperatures will lead to increased mortality rates, harmful pollution and extreme weather events such as hurricanes.

Gaa! Is nobody properly educated any more? Or aware of satellite photos like these?

"The need for urgent action to address climate change is now indisputable," said a recent letter to world leaders by the heads of the top science agencies in 13 of the world's largest countries, including the head of the U.S. National Academy of Sciences.

And to add insult to Arctic melting, they have the temerity to say global warming is-- wait for it-- good for us:

Critics of the finding say it's far from certain that warming will cause any harm at all. The Chamber of Commerce cites studies that predict higher temperatures will reduce mortality rates in the United States.

Sadly, the collective pants of the Chamber of Corporate Crackpots won't be the only thing on fire if the current climate crisis is ignored.