Time for another Stand-Up Comedy Blog

By GottaLaff

"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!

Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

PRESIDENT OBAMA has found his nominee for the Supreme Court, Federal Appeals Judge SONIA SOTOMAYOR. Republicans were a little disappointed. When they heard OBAMA might appoint a someone from a minority, they thought he meant a Republican.

JUDGE SOTOMAYOR was so overwhelmed by the nomination she didn't think it was really happening, that is until she heard RUSH LIMBAUGH say he hopes she fails.

If confirmed, once again there will be two women on the Supreme Court and JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS won't have to dance backwards.

I don't know if the Democrats are confident JUDGE SOTOMAYOR will be confirmed, but she was spotted in the Bronx in an "All Night Judge Supply Shop" being fitted for a gavel.

When SONIA SOTOMAYOR is sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice the burning question will be, "How is RUTH BADER GINSBERG going to take seeing another woman wearing the exact same outfit?"

Ex-Secretary of State COLIN POWELL appeared on CBS to reaffirm that he's still a Republican. And just to prove it, he promised to lose an election right there on the show.

North Korea tested another nuclear bomb. Now the only ones who DON'T have the bomb are Somalia, Rwanda, Romania, and a teenager in Montana.

The big fear is that North Korea will sell a nuclear weapon to some crazy, unstable, volatile world leader like OSAMA or AHMADINEJAD or DICK CHENEY.

Former Presidents BILL CLINTON and GEORGE W. BUSH will appear together in Toronto for a two-hour debate. The topic: "Which is worse, lying to the country or to your wife?"

The Illinois Senate passed a bill on Wednesday to legalize medical marijuana. After much debate the bill was finally ratified, but only after brownies were handed out at the Senate lunch.

One irate Senator who was against having the Marijuana law passed said he finally agreed to vote yes, but he didn't inhale.

PRESIDENT OBAMA was in Beverly Hills for a fundraiser and spoke about healthcare and answered questions that were foremost on the minds of all those Beverly Hills matrons who attended. Would the bill pay for "Tummy Tucks," "Butt Reduction" and most important, a continued search for the "Fountain of Liposuction."

After they close Gauntanamo, terrorists will be sent to prisons where they'll have added perks like being able to watch nightly reality television shows. When some of the Gitmo inmates heard this they opted for a return to waterboarding.

After all that he gave up for us, give it up for F.I.L!