By GottaLaff
"Last Blog Standing" starts riiight....now!
Yes, it's time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law. For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
RECESSION BLUESLet's make some noise for the F.I.L. No, not grunts and moans. Save those for Comments.
The auto industry is really in bad shape. Remember when everybody was talking about cutting the work week to 4 days? Now they wish they could EXTEND it to 4 days.
So few cars are being sold these days, pedestrians are now forced to give each other the finger.
GENERAL MOTORS is closing so many plants and laying off so many workers they've been demoted to "CORPORAL MOTORS."
FORD is in such trouble, Detroit is thinking of changing its name from "Motown" to "Po'town."
The effects of plant shutdowns are already being felt. The new FORD MUSTANG comes in a cardboard box that says, "Some assembly required."
This is the largest cut-back in Detroit's history. "The Big Three" has just been marked down to "The Big $1.98."
And now, back to politics:
BARACK OBAMA met with PRESIDENT BUSH at the White House and as soon as the PRESIDENT-ELECT shook hands with BUSH, OBAMA'S ratings went down 10 points.
Meanwhile, JOHN McCAIN was also busy. While OBAMA and BUSH were meeting in the White House, McCAIN was waiting for his name to be called at the early-bird dinner at IHOP.
With the success of BARACK OBAMA, the Republican Party is considering choosing an African-American to be their party's chairman. Unfortunately, neither guy wants the job.
There's still a controversy over the clothes the Republicans bought for SARAH PALIN. I say, let SARAH keep the clothes. What are a bunch of male Republicans going to do with a bunch of women's clothes? Oh, excuse me, I didn't see SENATOR LARRY CRAIG sitting there.
As he's done every Thanksgiving, PRESIDENT BUSH is scheduled to pardon a turkey next week. Today, TED STEVENS was heard saying, "Gobble gobble, gobble gobble."
As a reflection of our times, Mattel has come out with a new "Sarah Palin Barbie Doll." I comes complete with a designer wardrobe. One problem. When you get your new Barbie home you have to give Mattel back the clothes.
PRESIDENT BUSH wants to write a book about his years in the White House, but publishers are discouraging him. There seems to be no takers and BUSH is very disappointed. He has the pictures and his crayons all ready to go.
With a new Democratic President, I'm sure he'll find a way of cleaning up the environment. He'll put RUSH LIMBAUGH on one end of the country making a speech and BILL O'REILLY on the other end of the country making a speech. And all the smog and pollution will be gone. Sometimes it takes a lot of HOT AIR to get rid of a lot of BAD AIR.
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