Tea party leader to run for Senate

By GottaLaff

Get out your tin foil teabags and astroturf!

Tom Cox, president of the Arkansas Tea Party organization, will announce his candidacy for the Senate on Monday at a gathering of the Arkansas Tea Party group in downtown Little Rock.

Cox, who plans to run in the Republican primary, is the first leader of the grassroots anti-tax movement to run for federal office. He is seeking the Senate seat held by Democratic Sen. Blanche Lincoln.

The local businessman, who has not previously run for elected office, became involved in the Tea Party movement after watching CNBC host Rick Santelli’s February rant against the federal stimulus.

Good ol' Rick Santelli. What an inspiration.

I'm sure Cox is squeaky clean, what with being a relative unknown and having to compete for votes and all. Ogod, hahaha! I couldn't even type that with a straight face. Wow. Breathe. Okay, moving on... ::clearing throat:: ...

... because who in their right mind would enter a Senate race with any kind of controversy hovering over him? Key words: Right mind:

Cox, the owner of Aloha Pontoon Boats, also has a past controversy he will likely have to explain to voters.

Federal authorities raided his North Little Rock boat manufacturing plant last summer, arresting thirteen suspected illegal immigrants.

Oops. Stee-rike One!

Asked about the incident on Monday, Cox spokesman Wilson Kanaday said the immigrants showed Cox their apparently fake work papers and the business owner believed he would be violating the law by looking deeper into their backgrounds.

He thought he'd violate the law by trying to... follow the law? Really? Stee-rike Two!

I'm going to take a wild guess here, and say that Stee-rike Three will occur the minute he opens his mouth on the Tee Vee Machine. Anyone care to wager a few food stamps?