Cheney Responds to Time Magazine Scooter Libby story

By GottaLaff

The Limpest Dick gets it up long enough for some premature snarlization:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney issued a statement in the wake of a Time magazine story on his last ditch efforts to push for a presidential pardon for his chief of staff:

"Scooter Libby is an innocent man who was the victim of a severe miscarriage of justice. He was not the source of the leak of Valerie Plame's name. Former Deputy Secretary of State, Rich Armitage, leaked the name and hid that fact from most of his colleagues, including the President. Mr. Libby is an honorable man and a faithful public servant who served the President, the Vice President and the nation with distinction for many years. He deserved a presidential pardon."

Awww, wittle "honorable" Scooty is a victim! His Douchiness says so, so it must be true.

And of all things, His Douchey Dickiness swears that Boy Georgie was left in the dark! Yes, the President of the United States [sic] had no idea what was going on in his own government. Guess he wasn't exactly the Master of his Domain. Talk about impotent.

Richard Armitage On Torture: I Should Have Resigned From Bush Administration

By GottaLaff

Too little, too late, too easy to say now:

ARMITAGE: We'd lost the discussion about the terminology and the Geneva protections. Did not know, to the best of my knowledge anyone in the Department, that torture was going on.

LEWIS: But you suspected it. You must've.

ARMITAGE: We did know that we lost the terminology question in Geneva. We did know of course because the [International Committee of the Red Cross] would come to see me and Secretary Powell. We certainly knew that they had suspicions.

LEWIS: So when you knew that the administration of which you were a part was departing from the Geneva Conventions and sidelining them, why didn't you quit?

ARMITAGE: In hindsight maybe I should've. But in those positions you see how many more battles you have. You maybe fool yourself. You say how much worse would x, y, or z be if I weren't here trying to do it? So torture is a matter of principle as far as I'm concerned. I hope, had I known about it at the time I was serving, I would've had the courage to resign.

Today's lesson, as taught by Professor Armitage: How to mangle the theory of relativity.