The Tale of President Obama, National Security, and the Right-Wing Naysayers

By GottaLaff

Here are three related stories, that all start out like this: Once upon a time, President Obama did the right thing and proved himself to the whole wide world, despite the wails and cries from his naysayers:

Isn’t it a big story that Newt Gingrich and some leading conservative media figures harshly criticized Obama’s handling of the pirate standoff — while it was unfolding?

I just got off the phone with a military expert and former Army Ranger who supports Republicans and Dems, and he hammered Gingrich and conservative media figures for criticizing Obama, saying that the Commander-in-chief deserved “respect” while a sensitive operation was unfolding.

“I would hope that they’re feeling a little silly today,” said the expert, Andrew Exum, a fellow at the Center for National Security Studies. “It’s bad form. You don’t make this a partisan issue until an operation has been assessed. It’s fair game ex post facto. But during the emergency, I think that our elected leaders deserve our respect.”

Indeed. He is a very wise man. But what about the evil pirates? What have they to say?

Well, boys and girls, the pirates got nervous, and started shaking in their thigh-high boots. The parrots on their shoulders squawked in fear, and echoes of "Arrrh!" rippled through both the land and the high seas alike:

Somalia’s pirates have been acting more nervously and co-operating more closely among themselves after Sunday’s killing of three of them by US navy snipers, and a French attack on a seized vessel, say people combating the problem.

The changes suggest that pirates fear further US military intervention. Some observers say this could increase the danger for seafarers in future incidents.

After some consideration, the townspeople, in all their wisdom, decided to pay no heed to the rants of the Rushpublics:

A new poll indicates Americans don't agree with former Vice President Dick Cheney's recent assertion that President Barack Obama's actions have increased the chances of a terrorist attack against the United States. [...]

Seventy-two percent of those questioned in the poll released Monday disagree with Cheney's view that some of Obama's actions have put the country at greater risk, with 26 percent agreeing with the former vice president.

And President Obama, weary from a very, very strenuous week, made his way back to the White House, head held high, and slept soundly, comforted by the knowledge that he had done the right thing.

...for now.